At the word canvass, Richards and I looked aghast.
An election coming on! stammered Richards.
An election! repeated I, the words dying away upon my tongue from consternation at this unwelcome news. An election in Alabama, which even in old Kentucky is considered as backwoods! Farewell, supper and sleep, and comfortable bed and clean linen! every thing, in short, which we had flattered ourselves with obtaining, and which we stood so much in need of, after such a hard days journey.
Before we had time to make any further enquiries, Cæsar, who had for some time been splashing through a sea of mud, stood suddenly still. The light of a tallow candle, glimmering and flaring through an atmosphere of tobacco-smoke, and the hoarse and confused sounds of many voices, warned us that we had reached the haven. We sprang out of the gig; and whilst Richards was tying Cæsar to a post, I hurried to the door, when I felt myself suddenly seized by the skirt of my cloak.
Not therenot there! This is the house where you are to stop, exclaimed Mr Isaac Shifty, pointing anxiously to an adjacent edifice, that looked something between a house and a pigsty.
Dont go with him, whispered I to Richards, heartily glad to be at last independent of the insupportable Yankee, and to be able to vex him a little in my turn. My hand was already on the latch; I opened the door, and we entered.
There sat the burgesses of Bainbridge, with their heels upon the tablethose, at least, for whom there were chairs; while those for whom there were none, made shift with tubs, or stood up in various elegant attitudes. There was a prodigious amount of talking, shouting, drinking, and laughing going on; and my first feeling was, that I would rather have been any where else than in that worshipful assembly. Richards, however, stepped boldly forward, in spite of his bootless foot; and luckily the men appeared disposed to be upon their best behaviour with us. They pressed back right and left, forming a lane about a foot wide, enclosed between living palisades, six feet and upwards in height, through which we passed, subjected, as we did so, to a searching inspection. Richards stepped smartly up to the table, then turned round, and confronted the group of half-horse, half-alligator visages there assembled.
A hurra for old Alabama! cried he, and the devil take the Bainbridge roadmaster!
Are you mad? I whispered to him.
May I be scalped if you dont soon feel the weight of these five bones upon your carcass, stranger! growled a voice, proceeding from a sort of mammoth that had just filled itself a half-pint tumbler of Monongahela. Before the double-jointed Goliath put his threat into execution, he swallowed the whisky at a gulp, and then, striding forwards, laid his open hand upon my companions shoulder, with a force that threw the poor fellow on one side, and gave him the appearance of being crooked. At the same time the giant stared Richards in the face, with an expression which the natural hardness of his features, and the glimmer of his owl-like eyes, rendered any thing but agreeable.
The devil take the Bainbridge roadmasterI repeat it! cried Richards, half in earnest and half laughing, raising his muddy and bootless foot as he spoke, and placing it on a chair. See there, men! I may thank him for the loss of my boot. The cursed swamp between here and the ferry was kind enough to pull it off for me.
The roar of laughter that responded to these words would inevitably have broken the windows, had there been any glass in them. Fortunately the latter luxury was wanting; its place being supplied by fragments of old inexpressibles, and of ci-devant coats and waistcoats.
Come, lads! continued Richards, I mean no offence; but of a surety I have to thank your bad roads for the loss of my boot.
Richards jest, exactly adapted to the society in which we found ourselves, was the most fortunate impromptu that could have been hit upon. It seemed at once to have established us upon a footing of harmony and friendship with the rough backwoodsmen amongst whom we had fallen.
May I be shot like a Redskin, if that aint Mister Richards from Old Virginny, now of the Mississippi, suddenly exclaimed the same colossus who had so recently had his hand upon Richardss shoulder, twisting, as he spoke, his wild features into a sort of amicable grin. May I never taste another drop of rale Monongahela, if you shant drink a pint with Bob Snags the roadmaster!
It was the very dignitary whom Richards had insulted with such imminent risk to his shoulder-blade.
A hurra for old Virginny! shouted the master of the roads, biting, as he spoke, into a piece of tobacco from that famous state. Come, mistercome, doctor! continued the man, offering Richards with one hand a roll of tobacco, with the other a pint glassful of whisky.
Doctor! repeated the whole assemblya doctor!
A man possessing power over gin and whisky, and whose word is an indisputable veto against even a smaller, is no unimportant personage in that feverish neighbourhood. In this instance, Richardss doctorship was of the double utility of delivering us from the threatened pint-glasses, and of causing us to be considered as privileged guestsno small advantage in a backwoods tavern, occupied as the headquarters of an electioneering party. Cæsar, however, was the first to derive a positive profit from the discovery. Bob left the room for a minute or two, and we could hear the horse walking into the stable. When the roadmaster returned, he had assumed a patronizing sort of look.
Mister Richards! said he confidentially, Mister Richards! May I be shot if you aint continually a sensible man, with more rale blood in your little finger than a horse could swim in. Yes, and Ill show you that Bob Snags is your friend. I say, doctor, what countryman is your horse?
A thorough-bred Virginian, replied Richards.
The devil he is! cried Bob. Well, doctor, to prove to you that Im your friend, and that I aint forgotten old times, Ill swop with you without lookin at him. May I be shot if I aint reglarly cheatin myself. Well, Im uncommon glad to see you again. Bob Snags has no reason to fear lookin a rale gemman in the face. Come, lads, none of yer jimmaky, and slings, and poorgun,5 and suchlike dogs wash, but ginuine Monongahelathats the stuff. Hurra for Old Virginny! Well, doctor, its a dealaint it?
No, Bob, said Richards, laughing; your generosity is so truly Alabamian, that I cannot make up my mind to accept it. For the present, at least, I must keep my Virginian. It is my wifes saddle-horse.
But Swiftfoot, replied Bob, in a cordial confidential mannerSwiftfoot is a famous trotter.
It wont do, Bob, was the answer. I should not dare show myself at home without Cæsar.
Bob bit his lips, a little vexed at not being able to make a deal; but another half-pint of whisky, which he poured down as if it had been spring water, seemed to restore him to good humour. Meanwhile my wet clothes were beginning to hang heavy upon me, and to steam in the hot atmosphere in which we were. Bob, who had already cast several side-glances at me, now turned to Richards.
And who may the mister be? said he.
The mention of my name and condition, procured me a welcome that I could willingly have dispensed with. After the shake of the hand with which Bob favoured me, I looked at my finger-nails, to see if the blood was not starting from under them. The fellows hands were as hard and rough as bears paws.