He breathed heavily, as if he had just sprinted a mile.
He regretted everything. That was the truth. It hurt him to think that the work he did had ever caused her pain, it hurt more than she would ever know. He had left the job last year for that very reason, but then he had been called back for one night – one night that turned into a night, a day, and another impossibly long night. A night during which he thought he had lost his family forever.
Becca no longer trusted him. He could see that much. His presence frightened her. He was the cause of what had happened. He was reckless, he was fanatical, and he was going to get her, and their only son, killed.
Tears streamed silently down her face. A long minute passed.
“Does it even matter?” she said.
“Does what matter?”
“Does it matter who the President is? If Gunner and I were dead, would you really care who was President?”
“But you’re alive,” he said. “You’re not dead. You’re alive and well. There’s a big difference.”
“Okay,” she said. “We’re alive.” It was agreement that wasn’t agreement.
“I want to tell you something,” Luke said. “I’m retiring. I’m not going to do it anymore. I might have to take a few meetings in the coming days, but I’m not going on any more assignments. I did my part. Now it’s over.”
She shook her head, but just slightly. It was as if she didn’t even have the energy to move. “You’ve said that before.”
“Yes. But this time I mean it.”
*
“You want to always keep the boat on an even keel.”
“Okay,” Gunner said.
He and his dad loaded the boat with gear. Gunner wore jeans, a T-shirt, and a big floppy fishing hat to keep the sun off his face. He also had a pair of Oakley sunglasses his dad had given him because they looked cool. His dad wore the same exact pair.
The T-shirt was okay – it was from 28 Days Later, which was a pretty awesome zombie movie with English people in it. The problem with the shirt was it didn’t have any actual zombies on it. It was just a red biohazard symbol against a black background. He guessed that made sense. The zombies in the movie weren’t really the undead. They were people who got infected with a virus.
“Slide that cooler athwartships,” his dad said.
His dad had all these crazy words he used whenever they went fishing. It made Gunner laugh sometimes. “Athwartships!” he shouted. “Aye, aye, Captain.”
His dad motioned with his hand to show the placement he wanted; across the middle, sideways, not near the back rail where Gunner had originally stowed it. Gunner slid the big blue cooler into place.
They stood, facing one another. His dad gave him a funny look from behind his sunglasses. “How are you doing, son?”
Gunner hesitated. He knew they were worried about him. He had heard them whispering his name in the night. But he was okay. He really was. He had been afraid, and he was still a little bit afraid now. He had even cried a lot, which was okay. You were supposed to cry sometimes. You weren’t supposed to hold it in.
“Gunner?”
Well, he might as well talk about it.
“Dad, you kill people sometimes, don’t you?”
His dad nodded. “Sometimes I do, yeah. It’s part of my job. But I only kill bad guys.”
“How can you tell the difference?”
“Sometimes it’s hard to tell. And sometimes it’s easy. Bad guys will hurt people who are weaker than them, or innocent people who are just minding their own business. My job is to stop them from doing that.”
“Like the men who killed the President?”
His dad nodded.
“Did you kill them?”
“I killed some of them, yes.”
“And the men who took Mom and me? You killed them, too, didn’t you?”
“I did, yeah.”
“I’m glad you did that, Dad.”
“I am too, monster. They were the exact kind of men who are good to kill.”
“Are you the best killer in the world?”
His dad shook his head and smiled. “I don’t know, buddy. I don’t think they keep tabs on who the best killers are. It’s not really like a sport. There’s no world champion of killing. In any case, I’m retiring from the whole thing. I want to spend more time with you and Mom.”
Gunner thought about it. He had seen a news show about his dad on TV the day before. It was really just a short segment, but it was his dad’s picture and name, and video of his dad when he was younger and in the Army. Luke Stone, Delta Force operator. Luke Stone, FBI Special Response Team. Luke Stone and his team had saved the United States government.
“I’m proud of you, Dad. Even if you never got to be world champion.”
His dad laughed. He gestured toward the dock. “Okay, are we ready?”
Gunner nodded.
“We’ll head way out, drop anchor, see if we can find a few stripers feeding on the dropping tide.”
Gunner nodded. They pulled away from the dock and moved slowly through the No Wake zone. He braced himself as the boat picked up speed.
Gunner scanned the horizon ahead of them. He was the spotter, and he had to keep his eyes sharp and his head on a swivel, as his dad liked to say. They had been out together fishing three times earlier in the spring, but they hadn’t caught anything. When you went fishing and you didn’t catch anything, Dad called that being “on the snide.” Right now, they were on the snide big time.
In a few moments, Gunner spotted some splashes in the middle distance off the starboard quarter. Some white terns were diving, dropping like bombs into the water.
“Hey, look!”
His dad nodded and smiled.
“Stripers?”
Dad shook his head. “Bluefish.” Then he said, “Hold on.”
He gunned the engine and soon they were skimming, skittering, still picking up speed, as the boat got up on plane with Gunner nearly thrown backwards. A minute later, they eased up to the thrashing whitewater, the boat came off plane, and they settled back into the swells.
Gunner grabbed the two long fishing rods with the single hooks. He handed one to his dad and then cast his line without waiting. Almost instantly, he felt a tug, a heavy pull. A wild liveliness came into the rod now, vibrating with life. Some unseen force nearly yanked the rod out of his hands. The line snapped and went slack. The bluefish had broken him off. He turned to tell his dad, but the old man was hooked up now too, his rod bent double.
Gunner grabbed a net and got ready. The bluefish – silver and blue and green and white and very, very angry, was hoisted from the water and into the cockpit.
“Nice fish.”
“A slump breaker!”
The bluefish flopped on deck, caught in the green mesh of the hand net.
“Will we keep him?”
“No. He gets us off the snide, but we’re here for stripers. Blues are exciting, but striped bass are bigger and they’re better on the grill, too.”
They released the fish – Gunner watched as his dad seized the still-jerking, snapping bluefish, and removed the hook, his fingers just inches from those hungry teeth. His dad dropped the fish over the side, where with a quick tail whip, it headed for the deep.
No sooner had the fish disappeared than his dad’s phone started to ring. His dad smiled and looked at the phone. Then he put it aside. It buzzed and buzzed. After a while, it stopped. Ten seconds passed before it started ringing again.
“Aren’t you going to answer it?” Gunner said.
His dad shook his head. “No. In fact, I’m going to turn my phone off.”
Gunner felt a surge of fear in his stomach. “Dad, you have to answer it. What if it’s an emergency? What if the bad guys are taking over again?”
His dad stared at Gunner for a long second. The phone stopped buzzing. Then it started again. He answered it.
“Stone,” he said.
He paused and his face darkened. “Hi, Richard. Yes, Susan’s chief-of-staff. Sure. I’ve heard of you. Well, listen. You know I’m taking some time off, right? I haven’t even decided if I’m still on the Special Response Team, or whatever it’s called now. Yes, I understand, but there’s always something urgent. No one ever calls me at home and tells me it isn’t urgent. Okay… okay. If the President is serious that she wants a meeting, then she can call me personally. She knows where to reach me. Okay? Thanks.”