Yes; the waters very deep. I sometimes wish She leaned against him without finishing her sentence, and he put both arms about her.
Hush! he said, his lips on hers.
Suddenly she threw her head back and seemed to listen.
Whats the matter? What do you hear?
I dont know. He felt her trembling. Im not sure this place is as safe as it used to be
Wrayford held her to him reassuringly. But the boatman sleeps down at the village; and who else should come here at this hour?
Cobham might. He thinks of nothing but the launch.
He wont to-night. I told him Id seen the skipper put her shipshape, and that satisfied him.
Ah he did think of coming, then?
Only for a minute, when the sky looked so black half an hour ago, and he was afraid of a squall. Its clearing now, and theres no danger.
He drew her down on the bench, and they sat a moment or two in silence, her hands in his. Then she said: Youd better tell me.
Wrayford gave a faint laugh. Yes, I suppose I had. In fact, he asked me to.
He asked you to?
Yes.
She uttered an exclamation of contempt. Hes afraid!
Wrayford made no reply, and she went on: Im not. Tell me everything, please.
Well, hes chucked away a pretty big sum again
How?
He says he doesnt know. Hes been speculating, I suppose. The madness of making him your trustee!
She drew her hands away. You know why I did it. When we married I didnt want to put him in the false position of the man who contributes nothing and accepts everything; I wanted people to think the money was partly his.
I dont know what youve made people think; but youve been eminently successful in one respect. He thinks its all his and he loses it as if it were.
There are worse things. What was it that he wished you to tell me?
That youve got to sign another promissory note for fifty thousand this time.
Is that all?
Wrayford hesitated; then he said: Yes for the present.
She sat motionless, her head bent, her hand resting passively in his.
He leaned nearer. What did you mean just now, by worse things?
She hesitated. Havent you noticed that hes been drinking a great deal lately?
Yes; Ive noticed.
They were both silent; then Wrayford broke out, with sudden vehemence: And yet you wont
Wont?
Put an end to it. Good God! Save whats left of your life.
She made no answer, and in the stillness the throb of the water underneath them sounded like the beat of a tormented heart.
Isabel Wrayford murmured. He bent over to kiss her. Isabel! I cant stand it! listen
No; no. Ive thought of everything. Theres the boy the boys fond of him. Hes not a bad father.
Except in the trifling matter of ruining his son.
And theres his poor old mother. Hes a good son, at any rate; hed never hurt her. And I know her. If I left him, shed never take a penny of my money. What she has of her own is not enough to live on; and how could he provide for her? If I put him out of doors, I should be putting his mother out too.
You could arrange that there are always ways.
Not for her! Shes proud. And then she believes in him. Lots of people believe in him, you know. It would kill her if she ever found out.
Wrayford made an impatient movement. It will kill you if you stay with him to prevent her finding out.
She laid her other hand on his. Not while I have you.
Have me? In this way?
In any way.
My poor girl poor child!
Unless you grow tired unless your patience gives out.
He was silent, and she went on insistently: Dont you suppose Ive thought of that too foreseen it?
Well and then? he exclaimed.
Ive accepted that too.
He dropped her hands with a despairing gesture. Then, indeed, I waste my breath!
She made no answer, and for a time they sat silent again, a little between them. At length he asked: Youre not crying?
No.
I cant see your face, its grown so dark.
Yes. The storm must be coming. She made a motion as if to rise.
He drew close and put his arm about her. Dont leave me yet. You know I must go to-morrow. He broke off with a laugh. Im to break the news to you to-morrow morning, by the way; Im to take you out in the motor-launch and break it to you. He dropped her hands and stood up. Good God! How can I go and leave you here with him?
Youve done it often.
Yes; but each time its more damnable. And then Ive always had a hope
She rose also. Give it up! Give it up!
Youve none, then, yourself?
She was silent, drawing the folds of her cloak about her.
None none? he insisted.
He had to bend his head to hear her answer. Only one!
What, my dearest? What?
Dont touch me! That he may die!
They drew apart again, hearing each others quick breathing through the darkness.
You wish that too? he said.
I wish it always every day, every hour, every moment! She paused, and then let the words break from her. Youd better know it; youd better know the worst of me. Im not the saint you suppose; the duty I do is poisoned by the thoughts I think. Day by day, hour by hour, I wish him dead. When he goes out I pray for something to happen; when he comes back I say to myself: Are you here again? When I hear of people being killed in accidents, I think: Why wasnt he there? When I read the death-notices in the paper I say: So-and-so was just his age. When I see him taking such care of his health and his diet as he does, you know, except when he gets reckless and begins to drink too much when I see him exercising and resting, and eating only certain things, and weighing himself, and feeling his muscles, and boasting that he hasnt gained a pound, I think of the men who die from overwork, or who throw their lives away for some great object, and I say to myself: What can kill a man who thinks only of himself? And night after night I keep myself from going to sleep for fear I may dream that hes dead. When I dream that, and wake and find him there its worse than ever