‘They’re staging the play outside, in the big courtyard. We’ll get a lovely view from one of the gate towers, and no-one else will be there. I put some wine up there for us, and everything.’
When she still looked half-reluctant he added, ‘And there’s a cistern of water and a fireplace that the guards use sometimes. In case you want to wash your hair.’
They stared at him in disbelief.
On cue, someone shook a sheet of tin and broke the spell.
Hwel rolled his eyes. He’d grown up in the mountains, where thunderstorms stalked from peak to peak on legs of lightning. He remembered thunderstorms that left mountains a different shape and flattened whole forests. Somehow, a sheet of tin wasn’t the same, no matter how enthusiastically it was shaken.
Just once, he thought, just once. Let me get it right just once.
He opened his eyes and glared at the witches.
‘What are you hanging around here for?’ he yelled. ‘Get out there and
‘Hwel, there’s no crown.’
‘Hmm?’ said the dwarf, his mind wrestling with ways of building thunder-and-lightning machines.
‘There’s no crown, Hwel. I’ve got to wear a crown.’
‘Of course there’s a crown. The big one with the red glass, very impressive, we used it in that place with the big square—’
‘I think we left it there.’
There was another tinny roll of thunder but, even so, the part of Hwel that was living the play heard a faltering voice on stage. He darted to the wings.
‘—I have smother’d many a babe—’ he hissed, and sprinted back.
‘Well, just find another one, then,’ he said vaguely. ‘In the props box. You’re the Evil King, you’ve got to have a crown. Get on with it, lad, you’re on in a few minutes. Improvise.’
Tomjon wandered back to the box. He’d grown up among crowns, big golden crowns made of wood and plaster, studded with finest glass. He’d cut his teeth on the hat-brims of Authority. But most of them had been left in the Dysk now. He pulled out collapsible daggers and skulls and vases, the strata of the years and, right at the bottom, his fingers closed on something thin and crown shaped, which no-one had ever wanted to wear because it looked so uncrownly.
It would be nice to say it tingled under his hand. Perhaps it did.
‘I never shipwrecked anybody!’ she said. ‘They just said they shipwreck people! I never did!’
Up in the tower Magrat elbowed the Fool in the ribs.
‘Green blusher,’ she said, staring at the 3rd Witche. ‘I don’t look like that. I don’t, do I?’