The door of Scrooges counting-house was open that he might keep his eye upon his clerk, who in a dismal little cell beyond, a sort of tank, was copying letters. Scrooge had a very small fire, but the clerks fire was so very much smaller that it looked like one coal. But he couldnt replenish it, for Scrooge kept the coal-box in his own room; and so surely as the clerk came in with the shovel, the master predicted that it would be necessary for them to part. Wherefore the clerk put on his white comforter, and tried to warm himself at the candle; in which effort, not being a man of a strong imagination, he failed.
A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you! cried a cheerful voice. It was the voice of Scrooges nephew, who came upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation he had of his approach.
Bah! said Scrooge, Humbug!
He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the fog and frost, this nephew of Scrooges, that he was all in a glow; his face was ruddy and handsome; his eyes sparkled, and his breath smoked again.
Christmas a humbug, uncle! said Scrooges nephew. You dont mean that, I am sure?
I do, said Scrooge. Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? Youre poor enough.
Come, then, returned the nephew gaily. What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? Youre rich enough.
Scrooge having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said, Bah! again; and followed it up with Humbug.
Dont be cross, uncle! said the nephew.
What else can I be, returned the uncle, when I live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! Out upon merry Christmas! Whats Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will, said Scrooge indignantly, every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!
Uncle! pleaded the nephew.
Nephew! returned the uncle sternly, keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.
Keep it! repeated Scrooges nephew. But you dont keep it.
Let me leave it alone, then, said Scrooge. Much good may it do you! Much good it has ever done you!
There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say, returned the nephew. Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!
The clerk in the Tank involuntarily applauded. Becoming immediately sensible of the impropriety, he poked the fire, and extinguished the last frail spark for ever.
Let me hear another sound from you, said Scrooge, and youll keep your Christmas by losing your situation! Youre quite a powerful speaker, sir, he added, turning to his nephew. I wonder you dont go into Parliament.
Dont be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us to-morrow.
Scrooge said that he would see him yes, indeed he did. He went the whole length of the expression, and said that he would see him in that extremity first.
But why? cried Scrooges nephew. Why?
Why did you get married? said Scrooge.
Because I fell in love.
Because you fell in love! growled Scrooge, as if that were the only one thing in the world more ridiculous than a merry Christmas. Good afternoon!
Nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before that happened. Why give it as a reason for not coming now?
Good afternoon, said Scrooge.
I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you; why cannot we be friends?
Good afternoon, said Scrooge.
I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute. We have never had any quarrel, to which I have been a party. But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and Ill keep my Christmas humour to the last. So A Merry Christmas, uncle!
Good afternoon! said Scrooge.
And A Happy New Year!
Good afternoon! said Scrooge.
His nephew left the room without an angry word, notwithstanding. He stopped at the outer door to bestow the greetings of the season on the clerk, who, cold as he was, was warmer than Scrooge; for he returned them cordially.
Theres another fellow, muttered Scrooge; who overheard him: my clerk, with fifteen shillings a week, and a wife and family, talking about a merry Christmas. Ill retire to Bedlam.