How can you ask that, Father? Ive been at it all the time ever since the occupation. After all they were our allies, Father.
Yes, yes, my child. I can just see him enjoying the chance he had of learning a thing or two, even though his life was in danger. Mr. Visconti was a very lecherous man. He said, Always the same thing, my child?
She regarded him with astonishment. Of course not, Father. Who on earth do you think I am?
He looked at her kneeling in front of him, and I am sure he longed to pinch her. Mr. Visconti was always a great pincher. Anything unnatural, my child?
What do you mean unnatural, Father?
Mr. Visconti explained.
Surely thats not unnatural, Father?
Then they had quite a discussion about what was natural and what wasnt, with Mr. Visconti almost forgetting his danger in the excitement, until someone knocked on the door and Mr. Visconti, vaguely sketching a cross in a lop-sided way, muttered what sounded through the noise of the air-conditioner like an absolution. The German officer came in in the middle of it and said, Hurry up, Monsignor. Ive got a more important customer for you.
It was the generals wife, who had come down to the bar for a last dry Martini before escaping north and heard what was going on. She drained her Martini in one gulp and commanded the officer to arrange her confession. So there was Mr. Visconti caught again. There was an awful row now in the Via Veneto as the tanks drove out of Rome. The generals wife had positively to shout at Mr. Visconti. She had a rather masculine voice and Mr. Visconti said it was like being on the parade ground. He nearly clicked his feet together in his purple socks when she bellowed at him, Adultery. Three times.
Are you married, my daughter?
Of course Im married. What on earth do you suppose? Im Frau General Ive forgotten what ugly Teutonic name she had.
Does your husband know of this?
Of course he doesnt know. Hes not a priest.
Then you have been guilty of lies too?
Yes, yes, naturally, I suppose so, you must hurry, Father. Our cars being loaded. We are leaving for Florence in a few minutes.
Havent you anything else to tell me?
Nothing of importance.
You havent missed Mass?
Oh, occasionally, Father. This is war-time.
Meat on Fridays?
You forget. It is permitted now, Father. Those are Allied planes overhead. We have to leave immediately.
God cannot be hurried, my child. Have you indulged in impure thoughts?
Father, put down yes to anything you like, but give me absolution. I have to be off.
I cannot feel that youve properly examined your conscience.
Unless you give me absolution at once, I shall have you arrested. For sabotage.
Mr. Visconti said, It would be better if you gave me a seat in your car. We could finish your confession tonight.
Nothing of importance.
You havent missed Mass?
Oh, occasionally, Father. This is war-time.
Meat on Fridays?
You forget. It is permitted now, Father. Those are Allied planes overhead. We have to leave immediately.
God cannot be hurried, my child. Have you indulged in impure thoughts?
Father, put down yes to anything you like, but give me absolution. I have to be off.
I cannot feel that youve properly examined your conscience.
Unless you give me absolution at once, I shall have you arrested. For sabotage.
Mr. Visconti said, It would be better if you gave me a seat in your car. We could finish your confession tonight.
There isnt room in the car, Father. The driver, my husband, myself, my dog there simply isnt space for another passenger.
A dog takes up no room[152]. It can sit on your knee.
This is an Irish wolfhound, Father.
Then you must leave it behind, Mr. Visconti said firmly, and at that moment a car back-fired and the Frau General took it for an explosion.
I need Wolf for my protection, Father. War is very dangerous for women.
You will be under the protection of our Holy Mother Church, Mr. Visconti said, as well as your husbands.
I cannot leave Wolf behind. He is all I have in the world to love.
I would have assumed that with three adulteries and a husband
They mean nothing to me.
Then I suggest, Mr. Visconti said, that we leave the general behind. And so it came about. The general was dressing down the hall porter because of a mislaid spectacle-case when the Frau General seated herself beside the driver and Mr. Visconti sat beside Wolf at the back. Drive off, the generals wife said.
The driver hesitated, but he was more afraid of the wife than the husband. The general came out into the street and shouted to them as they drove off a tank had stopped to give precedence to the staff car. Nobody paid any attention to the generals shouts except Wolf. He clambered all over Mr. Visconti, thrusting his evil-smelling parts against Mr. Viscontis face, knocking off Mr. Viscontis clerical hat, barking furiously to get out. The Frau General may have loved Wolf, but it was the general whom Wolf loved. Probably the general concerned himself with his food and his exercise. Blindly Mr. Visconti fumbled for the handle of the window. Before the window was properly open Wolf jumped right in the path of the following tank. It flattened him. Mr. Visconti, looking back, thought that he resembled one of those biscuits they make for children in the shape of animals.