Oh, dear! oh, dear! cried Ferdishenko. I did so hope the prince would come out first, and then the general. Well, gentlemen, I suppose I must set a good example! What vexes me much is that I am such an insignificant creature that it matters nothing to anybody whether I have done bad actions or not! Besides, which am I to choose? Its an embarras de richesse. Shall I tell how I became a thief on one occasion only, to convince Afanasy Ivanovitch that it is possible to steal without being a thief?
Do go on, Ferdishenko, and dont make unnecessary preface, or youll never finish, said Nastasia Philipovna. All observed how irritable and cross she had become since her last burst of laughter; but none the less obstinately did she stick to her absurd whim about this new game. Totski sat looking miserable enough. The general lingered over his champagne, and seemed to be thinking of some story for the time when his turn should come.
XIV
I have no wit, Nastasia Philipovna, began Ferdishenko, and therefore I talk too much, perhaps. Were I as witty, now, as Mr. Totski or the general, I should probably have sat silent all the evening, as they have. Now, prince, what do you think? are there not far more thieves than honest men in this world? Dont you think we may say there does not exist a single person so honest that he has never stolen anything whatever in his life?
What a silly idea, said the actress. Of course it is not the case. I have never stolen anything, for one.
Hm! very well, Daria Alexeyevna; you have not stolen anything agreed. But how about the prince, now look how he is blushing!
I think you are partially right, but you exaggerate, said the prince, who had certainly blushed up, of a sudden, for some reason or other.
Ferdishenko either tell us your story, or be quiet, and mind your own business. You exhaust all patience, cuttingly and irritably remarked Nastasia Philipovna.
Immediately, immediately! As for my story, gentlemen, it is too stupid and absurd to tell you.
I assure you I am not a thief, and yet I have stolen; I cannot explain why. It was at Semeon Ivanovitch Ishenkas country house, one Sunday. He had a dinner party. After dinner the men stayed at the table over their wine. It struck me to ask the daughter of the house to play something on the piano; so I passed through the corner room to join the ladies. In that room, on Maria Ivanovnas writing-table, I observed a three-rouble note. She must have taken it out for some purpose, and left it lying there. There was no one about. I took up the note and put it in my pocket; why, I cant say. I dont know what possessed me to do it, but it was done, and I went quickly back to the dining-room and reseated myself at the dinner-table. I sat and waited there in a great state of excitement. I talked hard, and told lots of stories, and laughed like mad; then I joined the ladies.
In half an hour or so the loss was discovered, and the servants were being put under examination. Daria, the housemaid was suspected. I exhibited the greatest interest and sympathy, and I remember that poor Daria quite lost her head, and that I began assuring her, before everyone, that I would guarantee her forgiveness on the part of her mistress, if she would confess her guilt. They all stared at the girl, and I remember a wonderful attraction in the reflection that here was I sermonizing away, with the money in my own pocket all the while. I went and spent the three roubles that very evening at a restaurant. I went in and asked for a bottle of Lafite, and drank it up; I wanted to be rid of the money.
I did not feel much remorse either then or afterwards; but I would not repeat the performance believe it or not as you please. There thats all.
Only, of course thats not nearly your worst action, said the actress, with evident dislike in her face.
That was a psychological phenomenon, not an action, remarked Totski.
And what about the maid? asked Nastasia Philipovna, with undisguised contempt.
Oh, she was turned out next day, of course. Its a very strict household, there!
And you allowed it?
I should think so, rather! I was not going to return and confess next day, laughed Ferdishenko, who seemed a little surprised at the disagreeable impression which his story had made on all parties.
How mean you were! said Nastasia.
Bah! you wish to hear a man tell of his worst actions, and you expect the story to come out goody-goody! Ones worst actions always are mean. We shall see what the general has to say for himself now. All is not gold that glitters, you know; and because a man keeps his carriage he need not be specially virtuous, I assure you, all sorts of people keep carriages. And by what means?
In a word, Ferdishenko was very angry and rapidly forgetting himself; his whole face was drawn with passion. Strange as it may appear, he had expected much better success for his story. These little errors of taste on Ferdishenkos part occurred very frequently. Nastasia trembled with rage, and looked fixedly at him, whereupon he relapsed into alarmed silence. He realized that he had gone a little too far.