Well, just now you said there were no honest nor good people about, that there were only money-grubbers and here they are quite close at hand, these honest and good people, your mother and Varia! I think there is a good deal of moral strength in helping people in suchcircum stances.
Varia does it from pride, and likes showing off, and giving herself airs. As to my mother, I really do admire her yes, and honour her. Hippolyte, hardened as he is, feels it. He laughed at first, and thought it vulgar of her but now, he is sometimes quite touched and overcome by her kindness. Hm! You call that being strong and good? I will remember that! Gania knows nothing about it. He would say that it was encouraging vice.
Ah, Gania knows nothing about it? It seems there are many things that Gania does not know, exclaimed the prince, as he considered Colias last words.
Do you know, I like you very much indeed, prince? I shall never forget about this afternoon.
I like you too, Colia.
Listen to me! You are going to live here, are you not? said Colia. I mean to get something to do directly, and earn money. Then shall we three live together? You, and I, and Hippolyte? We will hire a flat, and let the general come and visit us. What do you say?
It would be very pleasant, returned the prince. But we must see. I am really rather worried just now. What! are we there already? Is that the house? What a long flight of steps! And theres a porter! Well, Colia I dont know what will come of it all.
The prince seemed quite distracted for the moment.
You must tell me all about it tomorrow! Dont be afraid. I wish you success; we agree so entirely I that can do so, although I do not understand why you are here. Good-bye! cried Colia excitedly. Now I will rush back and tell Hippolyte all about our plans and proposals! But as to your getting in dont be in the least afraid. You will see her. She is so original about everything. Its the first floor. The porter will show you.
XIII
THE prince was very nervous as he reached the outer door; but he did his best to encourage himself with the reflection that the worst thing that could happen to him would be that he would not be received, or, perhaps, received, then laughed at for coming.
But there was another question, which terrified him considerably, and that was: what was he going to do when he DID get in? And to this question he could fashion no satisfactory reply.
If only he could find an opportunity of coming close up to Nastasia Philipovna and saying to her: Dont ruin yourself by marrying this man. He does not love you, he only loves your money. He told me so himself, and so did Aglaya Ivanovna, and I have come on purpose to warn you but even that did not seem quite a legitimate or practicable thing to do. Then, again, there was another delicate question, to which he could not find an answer; dared not, in fact, think of it; but at the very idea of which he trembled and blushed. However, in spite of all his fears and heart-quakings he went in, and asked for Nastasia Philipovna.
Nastasia occupied a medium-sized, but distinctly tasteful, flat, beautifully furnished and arranged. At one period of these five years of Petersburg life, Totski had certainly not spared his expenditure upon her. He had calculated upon her eventual love, and tried to tempt her with a lavish outlay upon comforts and luxuries, knowing too well how easily the heart accustoms itself to comforts, and how difficult it is to tear ones self away from luxuries which have become habitual and, little by little, indispensable.
Nastasia did not reject all this, she even loved her comforts and luxuries, but, strangely enough, never became, in the least degree, dependent upon them, and always gave the impression that she could do just as well without them. In fact, she went so far as to inform Totski on several occasions that such was the case, which the latter gentleman considered a very unpleasant communication indeed.
But, of late, Totski had observed many strange and original features and characteristics in Nastasia, which he had neither known nor reckoned upon in former times, and some of these fascinated him, even now, in spite of the fact that all his old calculations with regard to her were long ago cast to the winds.
A maid opened the door for the prince (Nastasias servants were all females) and, to his surprise, received his request to announce him to her mistress without any astonishment. Neither his dirty boots, nor his wide-brimmed hat, nor his sleeveless cloak, nor his evident confusion of manner, produced the least impression upon her. She helped him off with his cloak, and begged him to wait a moment in the ante-room while she announced him.
The company assembled at Nastasia Philipovnas consisted of none but her most intimate friends, and formed a very small party in comparison with her usual gatherings on this anniversary.
In the first place there were present Totski, and General Epanchin. They were both highly amiable, but both appeared to be labouring under a half-hidden feeling of anxiety as to the result of Nastasias deliberations with regard to Gania, which result was to be made public this evening.