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Its just a place to eat and sleep and I dont want to eat and sleep.
But there are all these perfectly lovely things, faltered Pollyanna.
Im tired of them.
And your automobile that will take you anywhere.
I dont want to go anywhere. Pollyanna quite gasped aloud.
But think of the people and things you could see, Mrs. Carew.
They would not interest me, Pollyanna.
Once again Pollyanna stared in amazement. The troubled frown on her face deepened.
But, Mrs. Carew, I dont see, she urged. Always, before, there have been BAD things for folks to play the game on, and the badder they are the more fun tis to get them out find the things to be glad for, I mean. But where there ARENt any bad things, I shouldnt know how to play the game myself.
There was no answer for a time. Mrs. Carew sat with her eyes out the window. Gradually the angry rebellion on her face changed to a look of hopeless sadness. Very slowly then she turned and said:
Pollyanna, I had thought I wouldnt tell you this; but Ive decided that I will. Im going to tell you why nothing that I have can make me glad. And she began the story of Jamie, the little four-year-old boy who, eight long years before, had stepped as into another world, leaving the door fast shut between.
And youve never seen him since anywhere? faltered Pollyanna, with tear-wet eyes, when the story was done.
Never.
But well find him, Mrs. Carew Im sure well find him.
Mrs. Carew shook her head sadly.
But I cant. Ive looked everywhere, even in foreign lands.
But he must be somewhere.
He may be dead, Pollyanna.
Pollyanna gave a quick cry.
Oh, no, Mrs. Carew. Please dont say that! Lets imagine hes alive. We CAN do that, and thatll help; and when we get him IMAGINED alive we can just as well imagine were going to find him. And thatll help a whole lot more.
But Im afraid hes dead, Pollyanna, choked Mrs. Carew.
You dont know it for sure, do you? besought the little girl, anxiously.
N-no.
Well, then, youre just imagining it, maintained Pollyanna, in triumph. And if you can imagine him dead, you can just as well imagine him alive, and itll be a whole lot nicer while youre doing it. Dont you see? And some day, Im just sure youll find him. Why, Mrs. Carew, you CAN play the game now! You can play it on Jamie. You can be glad every day, for every day brings you just one day nearer to the time when youre going to find him. See?
But Mrs. Carew did not see. She rose drearily to her feet and said:
No, no, child! You dont understand you dont understand. Now run away, please, and read, or do anything you like. My head aches. Im going to lie down.
And Pollyanna, with a troubled, sober face, slowly left the room.
Chapter V
Pollyanna Takes a Walk
It was on the second Saturday afternoon that Pollyanna took her memorable walk. Heretofore Pollyanna had not walked out alone, except to go to and from school. That she would ever attempt to explore Boston streets by herself, never occurred to Mrs. Carew, hence she naturally had never forbidden it. In Beldingsville, however, Pollyanna had found especially at the first her chief diversion in strolling about the rambling old village streets in search of new friends and new adventures.
On this particular Saturday afternoon Mrs. Carew had said, as she often did say: There, there, child, run away; please do. Go where you like and do what you like, only dont, please, ask me any more questions to-day!
Until now, left to herself, Pollyanna had always found plenty to interest her within the four walls of the house; for, if inanimate things failed, there were yet Mary, Jennie, Bridget, and Perkins. To-day, however, Mary had a headache, Jennie was trimming a new hat[25], Bridget was making apple pies, and Perkins was nowhere to be found. Moreover it was a particularly beautiful September day, and nothing within the house was so alluring as the bright sunlight and balmy air outside. So outside Pollyanna went and dropped herself down on the steps.
For some time she watched in silence the well-dressed men, women, and children, who walked briskly by the house, or else sauntered more leisurely through the parkway that extended up and down the middle of the Avenue. Then she got to her feet, skipped down the steps, and stood looking, first to the right, then to the left.
Pollyanna had decided that she, too, would take a walk. It was a beautiful day for a walk, and not once, yet, had she taken one at all not a REAL walk. Just going to and from school did not count. So she would take one to-day. Mrs. Carew would not mind. Had she not told her to do just what she pleased so long as she asked no more questions? And there was the whole long afternoon before her. Only think what a lot one might see in a whole long afternoon! And it really was such a beautiful day. She would go this way! And with a little whirl and skip of pure joy, Pollyanna turned and walked blithely down the Avenue.
Pollyanna had decided that she, too, would take a walk. It was a beautiful day for a walk, and not once, yet, had she taken one at all not a REAL walk. Just going to and from school did not count. So she would take one to-day. Mrs. Carew would not mind. Had she not told her to do just what she pleased so long as she asked no more questions? And there was the whole long afternoon before her. Only think what a lot one might see in a whole long afternoon! And it really was such a beautiful day. She would go this way! And with a little whirl and skip of pure joy, Pollyanna turned and walked blithely down the Avenue.