Mary looked at her mother demandingly. The mother-in-law all tensed up and prepared for a decisive «throw».
Mother why dont you say something! cried at last.
«A forbidden trick,» thought Robert sadly, but there was nothing he could do about it. Almost always all scandals ended this way, especially with the participation of the «esteemed» Elizabeth. His wife would wail and accuse him without letting him speak, then she would turn to her mother and begin to cry, and then
What a poor man he is now, immediately and harshly, as if at the command, gave out his mother-in-law. Thee isnt any support in the family, but only a burden. And Mary cries again, Alices lessons arent studied again, and its very late, and soon it will be bedtime. But what, I I will not interfere, but you, Robert, think about what you do!
She shook her hands in frustration and, pretending not to interfere, backed away, but very slowly, toward the exit of the kitchen. Nevertheless, Robert knew that she was anxious to continue, and if either of them said one more word, the scandal would surely drag on. But on this occasion, apart from a sense of guilt, there was no harm done to him. Robert, whether from fatigue or frustration didnt want to say anything, and Mary, suddenly sobbing convulsively, slipped out of the kitchen, even slightly pushing her mother. What happened stopped the «fury» and really made her go home at last. But she didnt fail to zip up her coat and sting one last time:
All families are like families, living palsy-walsy Ah, and yours I didnt expect that yours who goes to the woods, who gets the wood, everyone is on his own.
Robert was frozen in perplexity, not knowing what to answer. Anger was boiling in him and he could not find anything better to say:
Youd better go to rest, Mom.
And, of course, that phrase was a mistake. Elizabeth, theatrically sighed: «Ah!» And, slamming the door loudly, left. She would not speak to him now for a few days, but would come, of course.
It was quiet in the apartment. He stood in the middle of the corridor, listening to the silence. It was as if time had stopped. A few minutes passed like that before Robert regained his composure and the realization that he needed to end this day somehow and finally cut off the tangle of problems.
He slowly walked to the bathroom, undressed, and stood on the cold plates of the bath, pulled the curtain, and turned on the water. It was cold, and now and then Robert shuddered, but he had no desire to change the temperature, he didnt want to relax. On the contrary, the cold shower brought him back to reality. And as he dressed again, stepped out of the bathroom, and proceeded to his usual spot, the chair on the balcony overlooking the kitchen, everything that had happened during the day flashed through his mind. An exhausting meeting, dinner with his daughter, a conversation with a friend, an altercation with his wife and mother-in-law, hurtful words spoken during an argument, his usual fatigue, anger, and impotence.
Its the first quarter past twelve on the clock. The time flew by so quickly, and tomorrow is a new day. And again everything is the same, the familiar script, everything is tasteless and boring, incomprehensible and, characteristically, unsolvable. Outwardly, everything seems fine: there is an apartment with an almost paid mortgage, a wife, a healthy and intelligent daughter, and in general terms, a stable job. But there were gaps in this puzzle: the lack of progress in his career, annoying and stupid management, endless quarrels at home, lack of time for the child, his wifes problems at work and constant fatigue. Suddenly Robert caught himself thinking that for about ten minutes he had been mindlessly reviewing the list of contacts in his phone. Yes It was obvious that he wanted to speak out, to tell about all his worries and dedicate someone to his thoughts, maybe together in a conversation to find a way out. But who would he talk to? George he is, of course, very perceptive, but still a man isnt family and is unlikely to understand his problems. Mrs. Laura is one of the head teachers at school, the only one of his colleagues with whom he had a warm, trusting relationship, always advised him the same thing: divorce, take your daughter and go to Moscow. But he knew that was not the answer. Mom No, calling his mother in the middle of the night and talking to her about what was on his mind was out of the question. Margaret, who from the very beginning had been against his going to the countryside and had only visited her twice in all the years he had lived here (the rest of the time he visited her in the capital himself), naturally would have reacted emotionally. And so Robert didnt want to disturb her.
He fumbled for the lock button, turned off the phone screen, and thought again, «It really was a good idea to talk. Suddenly it hit him». Turning on the phone screen again, he typed in the search box the name that he remembered well after the conversation in the cafe: " Jessica Highlander. Yes, she was a well-known psychotherapist, motivational psychologist, practicing Gestalt techniques, five years of experience, author of scientific articles and the acclaimed book «Through Life with a Smile» with a circulation of more than a million copies. The book was presented a year earlier, and the book was sold out.
Rising from his chair, Robert, without turning on the light, proceeded to the hallway, fumbled for his briefcase, took out his wallet and business card with an invitation, and then hastily put it behind the phone cover, so as not to lose it. And smiled to himself. He reminded himself of a schoolboy, who is hiding some secret from everyone in the dark. He felt better. Robert looked into his daughters room, she was already asleep. Mary, despite the rift that had occurred, still took care of her daughter, as usual. Kissing Alice on the forehead goodnight, Robert thought of his wife: «Shes a good girl, after all, Im just confused and dont know what to do, dont know how to fix the situation.»
It was quiet and dark in the matrimonial bedroom. Mary was already asleep, and that pleased him. Maybe he had done wrong by not talking to her, but now he didnt want to see her tears and hear her reproaches again. Robert lay quietly beside her and fell into a deep sleep almost instantly.
Chapter 2 Conflicts to conflict
A week had passed since that altercation. Robert reconciled with his wife, but his relationship with his mother-in-law still left a lot to be desired, and there was still a residue from the words spoken that night. It seemed to everyone that the evening was somehow strange, incomprehensible to anyone and a turning point. Something was gradually dying away, like fog with the first rays of the sun. His love, tenderness, affection for Alice, for Mary, his wife, the mother of his child, was gradually receding into the background. The daily grind at work, the routine of his relationships became a burden that hung like a weight, preventing, as it seemed to Robert, to lift his spirits. From time to time it occurred to me that perhaps the family was the factor that not only killed Roberts desire to change something in his life, but also fueled his despondency.
Of course, he kept these thoughts to himself, tried not to succumb to them, didnt want to believe that any of it could be true. But the thoughts, like tectonic magma, were breaking through and would one day have to come out with a deafening force and roar. But right now it was easier for him to get away from thinking and immerse himself in the endless routine of work and family affairs.