Im sure thats not true.
Dont count on it. Ive negotiated with crazy people, talked kidnappers into releasing their hostages and convinced murderers to put down their guns. But I cant get my own son to open up to me. PamMikes mothershe would have known how to talk to him, how to reach him.
A wistfulness briefly hushed his succinct tone at the mention of his late wife, making Jillian suspect that the father was missing the woman whod been lost to cancer two years ago just as much as the son. Though she didnt know the details of Pam Cutlers death, Jillian knew the basics after discussions with Mike, Jr.s, doctor when theyd been planning his physical therapy. And she understood down to her bones how the loss of loved ones could wreak havoc on the family left behind.
The urge to reach out and offer a comforting touch was powerful. But Jillian reminded herself that they were little more than friendly acquaintancesthat it was this mans son she cared aboutand stuffed her wayward fingers into the pockets of her khaki slacks, instead.
Dont be so hard on yourself, Captain. She called the cops she knew by rank or nickname, the same way her brother, an investigator for the district attorneys office, her sister the M.E., her sister-in-law the police commissioner and her KCPD brother-in-law did. I know how hard it can be on family to see someone you love hurt like that. You want to help himmake things right. But you cant. The reality is, accident or notMikes still a teenager. Hes going to have moods. And hes going to have to figure out for himself how to make this work. In the end, the best thing you can do for him is love him.
Those blue eyes narrowed, silently asking a question. Yes, she was speaking from personal experience, but Mikes dad didnt need to know everything about her sordid past.
When she turned away to get her clipboard and wristband of keys, he followed her, letting her pretend she had no shameful secrets to keep. Hes got that. The love, I mean.
Mike knows that, down inside. He may not remember it every day, but he knows you love him. Just the fact that you use your dinner break to bring him here to the clinic and pick him up means something to him. Jillian slipped the elastic key bracelet around her wrist and tucked the clipboard of treatment logs under her arm. Together, they headed toward the gym exit and the hallway beyond. Look at Troy, on the other hand. Hes fighting most of his recovery battle on his own. Ever since the shooting, his grandmother refuses to leave his brother, Dexter, alone. Either hes at school or she locks Troy in the apartment with him to keep an eye on him the evenings she works her second job.
It cant be easy for her.
Im sure its notand I admire her for supporting her grandkids financially, but its almost as if shes given up on saving Troy and is focusing all her energy on Dexter. If Troy wants to come to physical therapy he has to schedule the appointments himself and take the bus to get here. Ive been giving him a ride home, at least, trying to give him a little extra attention and ease some of the burden.
Youre driving him home tonight? The captain stopped, checked his watch. It wasnt five oclock yet, and shed done it more than a dozen times. No big deal.
She turned at the doorway arch. As soon as I log in these stats and sign out.
Where does he live?
Jillian named the street and apartment area just west of downtown Kansas City. His mouth thinned as he propped his hands on his hips. At HQ we call that neighborhood No-Mans Land. Its not the safest place to be after dark.
Clearly. Otherwise, Troy might not have been shot in the back by that stray bullet.
Im serious, Jillian.
Did he see her laughing? She knew about the dangers of No-Mans Landmore personally than Michael Cutler would probably imagine. If she could keep Troy from falling prey to them the way she once had by simply giving the kid a little extra time and offering him a ride, she would. I dont take chances I dont have to. But Im not going to let Troy shoulder his recovery all by himself, either. Somebody always knows when I leave and where Im going.
And when you get back?
Jillian groaned. Its just a car ride. I can handle it, Captain.
His low-pitched curse followed her into the hallway as she locked the gym door behind them. Im not your commanding officer, so why dont you call me Michael? Thatd be a damn sight friendlier than ugh or whatever, which seems to be all Im hearing from Mike these days.
Jillian relaxed enough to smile, glad his disapproval of her efforts to help Troy had been short-lived. Captain Ugh. I bet your men would love to call you that.
My men wouldnt dare. Not to my face. Instead of heading past her door to get Mike from the break room, he followed her into her office. Can you spare another minute?
Sure. Jillian hugged the clipboard to her chest and turned.
I wanted to double-check the PT schedule. Mikes school is having their spring break next week. Hes pretty bummed about making up extra class work while his classmates go on vacation, and since he seems to enjoy his time with you and Troy, I wanted to see if I could still bring him in for his regular sessionsgive him a break from history and geometry andme.
Ill be here, Jillian promised. Anything else I can do to help?
Yeah. Be careful driving through No-Mans Land. My son needs you. He pulled his SWAT cap from his back pocket and pulled it on over his head. The stern police captain had returned. Keep your doors locked. If you feel threatened in any way, stay in your car and drive straight to the nearest police station. Run red lights if you have to. If you think someone is following you, stay in your car and honk the horn until an officer comes out to assist you.
You know, I have a big brother to give me lectures like that. You dont have to.
As long as you listen to one of us. I can give Troy a lift home on the days Im off duty and dont have to get back to the precinct. He adjusted the brim of his cap to shade his eyes. If riding with a cop wouldnt cramp his style.
Thats nice to offer. Ill ask him.
Be careful. Mikes counting on you.
Look who was talking. She dropped her gaze to the sidearm holstered at his thigh. You be careful.
Always.
After he tipped his hat and left, Jillian watched him stride down the hallway. Yeah. Big-brotherly overprotection aside, fortysomething looked good on the police captain from this view, too.
Savoring the responding skitter of her pulse, Jillian turned to her desk. Her gaze landed on the droopy, fading flower in the glass vase there, and her heart rate kicked up another notch. Would it have killed the sender to include a note? Or even just a name?
Between friendly discussion and heated debates, shed forgotten for a few minutes that not all men were as straightforward as Michael Cutler. Maybe she was only crushing on the older man because she was 99. 9 percent certain he hadnt sent her that mysterious rose. As beautiful and blameless as the deep red flower might once have been, shed lived with too many deceptions in her life already. The whole secret admirer thing had lost its charm long ago.
Dismissing the tiresome joke with a shake of her head, Jillian sat behind her desk, pulling up Mikes and Troys files on her computer to chart the updates. But the rose kept taunting her from the corner of her eye.