Tears sprang into Julianas eyes, and she was filled with a desire to fling herself at the woman, kicking and hitting.
Its a good thing we dont have to depend on your generosity, Nicholas told the governess, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Its clear you havent any.
Go to your room. Right now. Lets see how defiant you are tomorrow after no supper tonight.
Thats not fair! Juliana cried.
And you, miss, will go stand in the corner until I tell you otherwise. I suggest you think over your actions just now and ask yourself whether a proper lady would say and do the things you just did.
Nicholas strode out of the schoolroom and into a small room adjoining it, slamming the door behind him.
Juliana took up her place in the corner, and later, when Miss Emerson allowed her to return to her lessons, she kept her mouth shut and ignored Crandalls smug looks. During luncheon, she sneaked a few bits of food into her pocket. Later, when the children were supposed to be reading but Miss Emerson had nodded off in her chair and the others had taken the opportunity to lay their own heads down on their desks to nap, Juliana crept over to Nicholass door and eased it open.
Nicholas was standing on a chair, gazing out the high window, and he whipped around at her quiet entrance. Frowning, he hopped lightly down from the chair and came over to her.
What are you doing here? he asked in a none-too-friendly whisper. The Dragonll punish you if she catches you.
Shes asleep, Juliana whispered back, reaching into her pocket, then pulling out the napkin and passing it across to Nicholas.
He looked down at the roll and ham that Juliana had secreted there. He looked up at her questioningly. Why are you doing this?
Because I thought you would be hungry, she replied simply.
He looked at her for another moment, then began to eat.
You shouldnt do that, you know, he told her.
Give you food?
He shrugged. And contradict the Dragon. Crandall is always right, you see. And I am always wrong. That is the way to get along at Lychwood Hall.
I dont understand. Thats not fair.
Again he shrugged, the look in his eyes far older than his years. Doesnt matter. Thats how it is. He jerked his head toward the door. Youd better go now.
Juliana nodded and crossed the room quietly. As she reached for the doorknob, Nicholas said quietly, Thanks.
Juliana turned and smiled at him. He had smiled back at her, that rare, sweet smile that transformed his face. In that moment, the bond between them was formed.
The lessons Juliana learned on the first day were confirmed in the days that followed. Crandall and Seraphina Barre were never wrong and never punished. Nicholas was invariably held to blame for whatever misdeed occurred.
Juliana complained to her mother about the governesss unfairness, but her mother shook her head, the anxious frown that was becoming more and more familiar to Juliana forming on her forehead.
Dont argue with your governess, Diana warned Juliana. Obey her and be a good girl. Do you really think she would act that way on her own? She is hired by Mr. Barre. She would never do anything to cross him. No one here would.
Juliana had not understood at first exactly what her mother meant, but the very mention of Trenton Barres name was enough to still her protests. Juliana found him to be a frightening manquiet and calm, not a man who raged, but with a cold, flat look in his eyes that could quell anyone. Even Crandalls whining and tricks would stop short when his father turned that gaze on him.
Nicholas was the only person who would face his uncles gaze, his back straight and his head raised, even when he knew that his impertinence would inevitably lead to a caning in Trenton Barres study.
Juliana had never understood where Nicholas found the courage. However able she was to fight back with Crandall or to stand up to Miss Emersons strictures, her spirit always quailed in front of Trenton. Though she called Mrs. Barre Aunt Lilith, as Nicholas did, she found herself unable to address Trenton as anything but sir. He dropped by their cottage periodically on a courtesy call, and Juliana dreaded the times when he came. Her mother would call her in to greet Mr. Barre, and she would have to join them in the parlor and give him a polite curtsey. Juliana was rarely able to lift her head and look him in the eye, which he seemed to find amusing, and as soon as he waved her away dismissively, she fled to her room and shut herself in for the remainder of his visit.
She knew her mother worried about these visits; she could see the tension in her mothers face when she heard his voice at the front door. Diana would look Juliana over anxiously, tugging at her braids and retying their bows, smoothing down her skirts, and Juliana was certain that her mother was afraid she would embarrass her or offend Mr. Barre somehow.
When Juliana complained about having to make her polite appearance, her mother would rebuke her. Dont say that. The Barres have been very generous to us. We have nowhere to go if they dont let us stay here. You cannot offend Mr. Barre. And, please, do not say anything to him about that wicked boy.
Nicholas is not wicked! It is Crandall whos the wicked one.
But the sight of her mothers pale face, stamped with anxiety, would make her stop. She schooled herself to be polite and endured her hours with Seraphina and Crandall.
At the time, Juliana had not thought about why the Barres had been so generous as to take her in. She had simply accepted it as a part of her life. As she grew older, though, she had wondered at Trenton and Liliths generosity. They were not kind-hearted people, by any means, and while it was little enough expense for them to allow Juliana and her mother to live in the empty cottage on the estate, even such a small act of kindness seemed out of character for them. She had once asked her mother about it, but her mother had looked pained and a little frightened, as she always did when their precarious position at the Barre estate was discussed, and had told Juliana that she should not question their good fortune.
Looking back on it years later, when she was grown and had moved away, Juliana decided that Lilith and Trenton had invited them to live on the estate only because it would have looked bad in the eyes of Society if they had callously left a penniless, widowed cousin to starve. She was certain that their actions were not from some sudden upsurge of human generosity. And, when she found out that it was really Nicholas who would inherit the estate, with his uncle merely holding it in trust for him, Juliana realized that even that bit of generosity had been out of Nicholass pocket, not their own.
During those first few years at Lychwood Hall, it was only her friendship with Nicholas that made her life bearable. Even though he had been four years older than she, he had allowed her to tag along after him, and he had more than once protected her from Crandalls malicious words and pinches. Even though Crandall could ensure that Nicholas would be punished for anything he did or said, still Crandall was scared of him. There was something about Nicholass cold, implacable stare that made Crandall back down.
With Nicholas as her ally, Miss Emerson and the Barre children could be ignored. Even the fact that her mother never regained her once-happy personality could be endured.
It had devastated her when Nicholas left. Juliana had understood it, of course. His life was miserable at Lychwood Hall. He wanted to return to Cornwall, where he had lived as a boy with his parents. But his departure had left her chilled and alone.