Six months ago, she would not have troubled herself about it; she would have done what came naturally to her, secure in the knowledge of her place in society. She would not have given the rights and wrongs of it a thought, much less spent sleepless hours worrying about it.
Had she really blushed? Oh, how mortifying! Whatever had he thought of her? It was just as well they were moving on tomorrow. She didnt want another uncomfortable encounter with that gentleman.
Two mornings later Emma and Teddy set out from two tiny rooms on the top floor of a lodging house on the north side of Oxford Street to look for work. A slight breeze had blown away the misty rain and the sun was shining, a day for optimism, they decided. It was an optimism which was soon deflated. Emma had a notion that she could look after young children or even teach, but, according to the agency to whom she applied, no one wanted their children taught by someone whose sole experience was giving Indian children the rudiments of English. She was very conscious of her outmodish brown bombazine gown and tanned complexion; English ladies seemed to be uncommonly pale.
If she had not been so concerned about their dwindling resources, she would have enjoyed exploring the city. It was so different from Calcutta and yet there were similarities. Many of the fine buildings had their counterparts in Calcutta, which had been dubbed the city of palaces, but the people who thronged the streets and rode in a bewildering array of carriages, were, for the most part, white.
The markets, like markets the world over, were colourful and noisy but the produce they sold was different: hot peas, meat pies, herrings, cabbages and bootlaces instead of chuppattis, samosas, melons, copper ornaments and saris. And though there were English churches in Calcutta, there did not seem to be any mosques and temples in London, shining pink and gold in the sun, no ruins, no fort. St Pauls was impressive and one day she might go inside, but at that moment she was too anxious to reach her next interview. Having given up the idea of teaching, she had decided to try for a position as a ladys maid.
The encounter lasted less than five minutes, which was the time it took to realise she would be nothing but a slave to a cantankerous old lady twenty-four hours a day, and for a pittance. Judging by the tiny fire in the grate and the chill in the house which was mirrored in the ladys demeanour, there would be no warmth there. It was the same in many of the places to which she was sent and on the few occasions when she liked what she saw, she was turned down on the grounds of her inexperience. She returned home in the evening, hoping that Teddy had had better luck.
He had not. I didnt get any further than speaking to a supervisor, he said, disgustedly, as they sat over a frugal meal. All he said was, Go to Haileybury and finish your schooling, then we might be able to use you. He said Haileybury College was like Fort William in Calcutta, intended to produce Indian administrators.
I wish you could, Emma said. But Im afraid its out of the question.
I know. I thought of journalism, but when I tried a newspaper office, they laughed at me, said I knew nothing, but I could be the tea-wallah, if I liked. I am not that desperate, Em.
No, of course not.
If I cannot work for The Company, then I would wish to do something with some excitement in it. Do you know there are hundreds of stage coaches in London? They go all over the country every day at a bruising speed, twenty miles an hour some of them. And the coachmen are fine fellows. I wouldnt mind being a coachman or a guard. The guard has a blunderbuss to frighten off highwaymen. Come to think of it, it might be exciting to be a highwayman. Your jewels or your life, and all that.
Emma laughed. Oh, Teddy, you are a goose, but what would I do without you?
I cant stay tied to your apron strings forever, Em, he said, suddenly serious. If you are worrying what will happen to me if you are offered a position, please dont. Whether you will have it or not, I am a man now and must find my own way.
I havent been offered anything so it doesnt signify.
You had no luck either?
No.
Youll have to find a husband, like I said before.
And just how am I to do that?
Cultivate any eligible you meet, instead of rebuffing him, as you always seem to do. There was that gentleman last nighthe was interested, I could tell. All you did was complain about the voyage and tell him to mind his own business
I did not!
As good as. If you had accepted his offer of compensation, who knows where it might have led?
Teddy, you sometimes talk the most dreadful nonsense. Of course he wasnt interested in me. Hes probably married with half a dozen children. Anyway, I have no intention of marrying for money
Why not? I am persuaded that is how most marriages begin.
How can you say that, when you know how much Mama and Papa loved each other?
They were an exception.
Then I shall be another. She laughed suddenly. And I could hardly be married within a week and that is how long our funds are likely to last. She paused, serious again. I will try again tomorrow. Ill go to a domestic agency
emma, you cant be a housemaid, it is as bad as me being a tea-wallah.
I think this business of having an uncle who is a viscount has gone to your head, brother dear. We cannot afford pride. Which was only too true, though she lamented it as much as Teddy did.
The next day she tried a new agency and her luck changed, though she did wonder if it was because she furnished them with a glowing reference from Miss Emma Mountforest who had employed her as a companion while residing in India. Society among the English community in India is very little different from that in England, she told the proprietor, tongue in cheek. I shall soon adapt. Emma did not like the deception, but she was beginning to realise she would get nowhere telling the truth. She was given an introduction to take to the Marquis of Cavenham, who required a companion for his sister, Miss Lucilla Besthorpe.
She returned home to leave a note for Teddy, telling him where she was, before following the directions she had been given to the Marquiss house in Bedford Row. It was a tall mansion, identical to those on either side of it, with rows of sash windows and a heavy oak door with a large brass knocker and flambeaux either side. She took a deep breath and knocked, prepared to lie, if necessary, to obtain the post.
The maid who answered the door took the agencys letter from her and left her waiting in an anteroom for several minutes, which seemed like an hour to Emma, who found that her hands were shaking with nerves. She gave herself a good scolding and managed to calm herself by the time the girl returned.
Come this way, please.
She led the way up a curving staircase, covered with Turkey carpet, to a large sunny room on the first floor, where she left her. Emma, looking about her at the upholstered sofas with their faded gilt scrolling, the spindly chairs and satinwood sofa table, the secretaire in the corner, the gilt framed pictures which could have done with cleaning, the spotted mirror and ormolu clock on the mantel, the striped taffeta curtains and worn carpet, came to the conclusion that the room had once seen better days.
She had thought there was no one there, but a slight movement by the window caught her eye and a young lady emerged, from behind the curtains. She was about seventeen, Emma judged, dressed very simply in a morning dress of spotted muslin, with a deep frill at the hem and lace about the neck. Her hair, which was fair, was worn tied back with a blue velvet ribbon with no attempt at fashionable arrangement. And yet she was lovely, mainly due to a cheerful countenance and sparkling blue eyes.