You look good, too. She arched an eyebrow and gave him a glimpse of the hesitant smile he remembered. Your hairs a lot shorter. And you her long, agile fingers gestured in the air filled out. Got big. Youre taller and broader both, it looks like to me.
More than six years of elite army training and service, plus the rugged outdoorsman life he led, did that to a man. I guess.
Hows Kyle?
It made sense that shed ask about his younger brother. Theyd been classmates and good friends. Of course, she and Ethan had been so much more than friends, but she didnt need him to point that out. Hes good. Married. Two kids. Lives in Cortez now.
Still a man of few words, I see.
No sense wasting them. Stopping at Elizabeth Reddawns desk, Ethan set down the purse and unhooked his collar and loosened the black string tie he wore, silently assessing the changes in Joannas appearance as she turned to face him.
Despite the warmth of her olive complexion and dark brown eyes, there was a brittleness to her ramrod posture and polite words. He idly wondered if a stroke of his fingertip across the nape of her neck could still make her shiver, or if the touch of his lips against hers could break through those invisible barriers she wore like body armor and unleash the warmth and softness and eagerness to explore her own sexuality he remembered.
The black-as-midnight hair shed pulled back into a sleek ponytail was shorter than the wild horses tail of a hairdo shed worn through high school. Shed grown, too. Maybe it was the high heels she was wearinghed never seen those on her feet beforebut the top of her head was just about even with his chin now. The curve of her lips sported a sheer berry tint that hadnt been there fifteen years ago, and her tailored suit was a far cry from the jeans and tees shed lived in back then. The beautiful woman standing in front of him looked as polished and businesslike and cold as the gun holstered at her waist.
The curious, coltish tomboy whod tagged along with him and his younger brother, Kyle, on their adventures around the reservation had vanished. The years apart had erased the young woman with the shy sensuality and big dreams whom hed patiently coaxed into loving and trusting him. Pity there was no sign of the fire within that had once drawn him like a moth to a flame.
But idle thoughts were as useless as idle words.
Youre FBI? he asked.
She nodded. I made it into the program at Quantico after graduating with my masters in psychology. Made it all the way to Washington, D.C., where Im assigned now as a behavioral scientist and criminal profiler.
Good. That was what shed wantedto move East, to put the entire country between her and the memories of her parents deaths and the compounding tragedy that followed. Shed longed for urban landscapes and busy, diverse city streets instead of the endless red-rock terrain and isolation of the reservation and the small mountain towns like Mesa Ridge and Kenner City. Shed wanted to carry a gun and take down bad guys and give the victims like herself, whod been denied a voice, a champion who could save the day. Shed wanted things he couldnt give her. Congratulations.
Thanks.
So shed finally gotten what she wanted. On some noble level, he was happy for her. But deeper down, somewhere between his battered heart and old mans soul, it had always felt like unfinished business between themas though fate and her stubborn will had seen fit to deny them the wonderful possibilities of loving each other.
Just punishment, Ethan supposed. He hadnt protected her well enough back thenhadnt even sensed how badly shed needed his protection until it was too late. Hed been more interested in getting in her pants and making her see the worldand their future togetherthrough his eyes.
Yeah. More than anyone he knew, Joanna Kuchu deserved to have her dreams come true. Even if those dreams didnt include him. He was glad that shed finally found her place in the world.
After moving on for a while, hed come to realize that he was already where he needed to be. Hed come home from that last hellish deployment to the land whose spirit flowed through him like his own blood. He needed the open space and quiet the way she needed the bustle and technology and new faces around every turn in the big city.
When the silence stretched on long enough for her coffee-dark gaze to drop to the middle of his chest, Ethan knew there was no sense prolonging their wouldve-couldve-shouldve-been reunion. He smoothed his hand over the top of his cropped hair and down the back of his scalp, taking away a palmful of dampness with it. There was no good way to let this woman go. He just had to do it. I hope life always gives you what you need, Jo.
Her dark eyes flinched and darted back up to his. You, too, Ethan. Youre kinder than I deserve. Im Those berry lips tightened into a frown that tugged at both his heart and conscience. Im
I know. He knew the sentiment by heart. Youre sorry. So am I. Before he could act on the impulse to take her in his arms to trade comforts and remind his body what hers felt like pressed against it, he pointed to the overstuffed bag hed set on the counter. Would you make sure Elizabeth gets this?
Of course.
Ethan turned, ending the conversation and walking away. He needed the rain on his face to cool his skin along with the desire and regrets simmering just beneath the surface. He needed a long, fast drive into the countryside and a hike up into the mountains to put behind him his feelings for Joanna and the damnable understanding he had for why the two of them could never work.
Goodbye, Ethan.
Those dream-destroying words grated against his ears. Fifteen years and that woman could still get to him. Must be the guilt. Keep walking, buddy. You cant change the past. He pushed open the door.
Agent Rhodes? Patrick Martinezs voice echoed through the reception area behind him. I finished those calls. My men are en route to pick up the suspect.
Agent Rhodes? Ethan glanced over his shoulder and scanned for the second person his sharp eyes wouldnt have missed. Wariness seeped up through the soles of his boots and put him on alert.
Hey, Ethan. Martinez acknowledged him with a nod as he strode up beside Joanna. You coming or going?
Turning, Ethan quickly accounted for every person here. Joanna. Martinez. Bates. She had to be Agent Rhodes. What was going on here?
His eyes swept Joanna from head to toe, coming back twice to her bare left hand as she tucked Elizabeths purse behind the counter. He hadnt even considered the idea that shed gotten married. That she might find someone else after leaving him.
He hadnt. No one that ever stuck in his heart the way she had, at any rate.
The idea that another man had been able to give her what he couldnt burned through him.
But any questions about new names and old relationships remained unspoken at the sheriffs next words. If you want to step into my office, I can spare a few minutes now to go over any other questions you might have regarding Sherman Watts.
The current of awareness that flowed from the earth into Ethans body blazed into a full-blown warning. What does she have to do with Sherman Watts?