Ah! I realized everyone needs to wash The bathhouse has been closed for the second week and it is not known when it will open, but they will not be allowed in without washing their hands. Damn, what a smell here! Fu!
Young man! Ill call the police right now!
There is nothing to do So almost barefoot, barefooted, he stepped aside, yielding his place to Feri. a thin, shaking man entered again, took my place at the feri and, having swallowed a couple of drops of its solution, walked by Without even washing his hands or feet
Feeling very sterile, I, disdaining, went to the counter. My inquisitive, sharp eye found dirty, muddy stains on the shelves, dirt on the floor, due to the pouring rain and the ubiquitous fat flies So fat that you can send them to a barbecue! Why! The Chinese eat all kinds of worms and flies! And why do these creatures, that is, flies, do not die even in such a cold?!
The store is full of products. What bread do you want! I dig deeper, chose a couple of rolls and asked me to wrap them in a bag. Then came out!
Cant take it anymore! Whats that smell?! Pulling off my mask, I greedily gulped in fresh, honey air, which happens only after rain! And then it dawned on me!.. The sock from which I made the mask was from a heap for washing In a hurry, I took the first thing that comes to hand This is exactly what it was said in the manual for making: Take the first thing that comes to you under hand.. And you cant take it off now! A little nauseous, the blood is already caked, the brains are boiling! And I still need to go to the bank! I can hardly hear anything
Reaching the bank by taxi and standing in a long line in the pouring rain again, I finally walked to the table where my aunt was sitting in a muzzle, that is, wearing a mask.
She started asking me something, but I didnt understand anything. Of everything she said in a low, barely audible voice, and even through the muzzle, she could only make out Pee Peepy
Maybe he wants to go to the toilet, you never know what And smiling out loud to her, I wink:
Well, you go, if you so want, Ill wait.
To which she glared at me in anger, like the Nightingale the robber or there, Kashchei is the immortal and even louder, as the muzzle only allows, she repeated:
Pee-pee-peepy!!!
And then I realized what was the matter! Eh! Where ours did not disappear! I pulled a roll of toilet paper out of my bag and smiled, understanding everything. handed it to her, they say, take it, do not hesitate What is really there,,. anything can happen!
In response, she pulled off her muzzle and, to my surprise, screamed to the whole audience:
Security! Get this madman out! My strength is gone!
I- What happened? Asked the guard.
_ Yes, I ask him, do you have a certificate? Surname name what they say? Open an account or something ? And he sends me three letters, and even shoves a roll of toilet paper in the face! Get him out, or Ill throw him out of here right now! the aunt was so angry that her hands were shaking, and her eyes were red and completely out of their sockets, foam was flowing from her mouth and she herself looked like a dog that would now devour me along with giblets. If it was only one person, I still have a whole queue to eat! She shouted incessantly.
Before I could say a word, they kicked me out of the bank with a kick in the ass!
Just those times Its my fault if I havent eaten porridge myself in the morning! He can barely speak I would say clearly and clearly at once! Come on! Cant you understand these women!
Soaking wet under the shower, I got to the other mail.
What to do? it must be so. Look, grandmothers, they always hang out in line. Why not me too? Came up, took the line, Im waiting! Im waiting for two hours
Here the sock, that is to say, the muzzle mask, threw out of anger, but then, thinking it over, picked it up and crumpled it up and put it in my pocket.
Two heads in front of them in headscarves fought. One, under the pretext of asking something, slipped forward and received her money.
Another caught up with her and grabbed her by the handkerchief, threw her to the ground and began to bludgeon her with all her might.
Everyone stood and no one intervened. Barely breaking free, beaten, with tousled hair, crumpled, in a torn coat and without a mask, unhappy, whining, crawled out of the entrance and walked away. The other, proudly, victoriously, with her head raised high, entered, as if on a throne, and sat down on the only chair. The others stood in silence.
There were no more scenes.
Silently pulling my smelly sock-mask over my face, and barely holding back so as not to pull it straight to the floor, I went to the checkout
I was standing at the checkout for some business. Recently it became known that the government is handing over 42,500. There were rumors that only those people would be handed over. who worked during the period of the virus. was left out of work, that is, was sent on unpaid leave. And so everyone who worked was served. And this one is correct, the person worked, it doesnt matter. that he has a salary of 500 thousand, he will receive, and those. those who did not work will continue to live. They lived before and will live on. Since I was unemployed, I didnt even think about going for benefits. Not allowed. And its a shame to ask the government for help. Young, healthy I will somehow live. They even said that those women who are not allowed in the decree, only up to a year And thats true. The child is already a year old, you can go to work, and the child will look after himself, he will change his own diapers, and he will make his own porridge! Thats right! So I thought, but my mother persuaded me to apply and I, not even ashamed, went to the bank. And what my surprise was that I, it turns out, am one of the lucky ones who receive, albeit one-time, but help. joyful with such overwhelming news, I caught my fat cat, who was hiding from me, jumping on the refrigerator and staunchly defending myself, as from a fascist, and pulled him out for a walk for the thirtieth time in a day.
© Copyright: Raisa Karimbaeva, 2020Certificate of publication No. 220041401850
How I fought with the phone
In a cell phone there is as if some sort of drunken man is sitting as a lord, who does not know Russian and speaks, or rather writes in Chinese. Thats for sure! So, today I wanted to talk to a friend of mine about painful problems. I want to write to her that I am sitting in prose and mail ru. I regularly enter text into the typing window in my phone, gently poking my finger over the letters. Has entered, like everything is correct, checked. Sent. The phone says in a blue square from me: Rustam otin, male prose, miilya
I havent read that the smartphone has issued and Im sitting so smart and smart, until I got confusion from my friend: What other male prose and Who is Rustam Otin in general? Have you met long ago?
After reading the message, I quietly fall into horror and slowly slide off my chair But I myself do not know who Rustam Otin is! I look again at the message and check: suddenly she was mistaken. Not. all right. It turns out I wrote to her, or rather, my phone! What will people think of me now? That I sit all day in male prose with some Rustam Otin?! Reading in mens magazines! I dont know him myself! And I dont look at mens magazines at all, but I go around them for kilometers! I make excuses, I write that this is a mistake, that this is a telephone He doesnt believe.. He giggles Okay, somehow well digest Im trying to change the conversation topic about shopping.