In the phobic stage, fear grows uncontrollably and intensifies as the danger grows in the imagination. The person affected concentrates increasingly on the discomfort caused by their reaction to fear, and is less and less guided by what can calm him down. There is a conviction that something terrible will happen now-death, heart attack, or insanity.
This is a panic state. It is so painful that a person tries to avoid any stimulus situations, including words, images, and memories, that can trigger such a reaction.
The treatment of phobias focuses on developing a persons ability to face the situation that causes fear and stay in it. It also involves convincing him, through exposure, that the situation is not really dangerous. With the help of the therapist, gradually increasing tasks, the patient learns to react to the real calming reasons explaining the situation and not to the imaginary threat.
A few tips for dealing with fear follow.
First: in any situation where you feel that you are overcome by fear, do not let it take over, and do not begin to panic. You need to learn to accept and control your fears, and this is the most important approach to dealing with them.
The second thing that should be done is to try to analyze the situation to see its scale and seriousness, and also think about whether there is an opportunity to get help.
The third is purely physiological: if you are afraid, start breathing deeply. Take a deep breath (for example, counting to 4), hold it while counting to 3, and then exhale fully, counting to 7 or 8. Repeat this at least ten times. This will help you to concentrate, think the situation over, and calm your mind. After that, finding a solution to the problem will be much easier.
The fourth is talking to yourself. If you are afraid of something, start talking to yourself in your mind. Say your name and tell yourself to calm down. Try to understand what is happening, who and what surrounds you, what you feel, etc. As you calm down, your blood pressure and heartbeat will go back to normal and the sense of panic will disappear.
If you still cant get rid of the fear, use a trick. Become angry with yourself or with what is happening to you, the circumstances of the situation, or someone. Remember that anger will replace your fear and neutralize it. Instead of fear, you will feel the desire to take action and change the nature of things, or youll find a solution to the situation.
If you are overcome by mental fear, remember that you are human, and fear is one of our normal reactions to stimuli. Also realize that it is temporary. You deserve joy, happiness, and wellbeing, not fear. Think about that and watch your fear levels go down.
If your anxiety becomes obsessive, it may be your intuition trying to give you a signal. Think about what your fear is telling you, and find the answer to this question. In many cases, fears point us in the right direction for self-improvement.
In order to get rid of fear, it is necessary to develop the courage and skills for an inner dialogue with fear. Do not be afraid to get into situations that cause fear, but use them as a new opportunity to practice courage and the ability to cope with fear.
Imagine that this kind of training is similar to working out in the gym and building muscles. First you train with light weight, gradually switching to a heavier one. Similarly, with fears, we should initially exercise with a little fear, and then switch to a stronger one.
For example, the fear of public speaking in front of a large audience can be eliminated by practicing in front of a mirror at home, in front of a group of friends, and then in front of a small number of people, gradually increasing the audience size.
A fear of using the elevator can be gradually overcome by using the elevator with someone first, then asking someone to wait for you on the floor to which you will arrive, only afterwards using it independently. Patience and consistency are the main helpers in these exercises, which are designed to develop courage.
Finally, do not forget that when a person overcomes fears, he discovers new opportunities, becomes stronger, expands the boundaries of his personality, improves and moves forward, and also begins to see the world in new colors. So dont let your fear take those chances and opportunities away from you. When you overcome fears, you become a different person.
Go ahead and face what you are afraid of!
Fear of Flying
Question: Hello! Im very afraid of flying. After the birth of my children, this fear has turned into panic. On board the plane, especially when taking off, landing, or during any turbulence, I immediately think that the plane is going down and we are all going to die. I begin to tremble, break into cold sweat, and have difficulty breathing. I understand that this is an exaggerated reaction, but I can not help myself. On the plane, everyone feels sorry for me. They try to calm me, and my children look at me in horror. I understand that I am probably transferring my fear to them. What should I do?
According to statistics, every third person is worried about traveling on an airplane. And every ten will never overcome the fear of stepping on board a plane. Fear of flying, or aerophobia, is one of the most common fears.
We are afraid of flights because we do not have control on the plane. We cannot stop the aircraft to get out, as we could do when riding in a car. But ask yourself, what do we really control in life? Are we able to influence all events?
People may be run over by cars on a pedestrian crossing not because they were crossing the road recklessly, but because they are not able to control the actions of the driver of a car rushing into them. A short circuit may happen in your neighbors apartment, starting a fire in your apartment building, and again, you are not able to control these events or change them.
You may be pick pocketed by thieves in the supermarket or, as the banal proverb says, On the street, a brick may fall on your head.
Dangers surround us from all sides. Does this mean that we need to build a fireproof, waterproof, anti-radioactive, hermetic, sterile bunker, lock ourselves in it, and stay safe? Or would we better live our lives, no matter how long or short they may be, enjoying the company of our dear family and friends and being able to travel, learn new things, work, do our hobbies, watch our children grow and succeed in life, taste delicious food and wine, and enjoy beautiful sunsets and sunrises? None of us can be fully sheltered from troubles, illnesses, or accidents. And we can not keep everything under control.
They say that the risk of dying in a plane crash is 500,000 times less than the risk of dying in a car accident. Comparing the number of daily flights and passengers with the number of airplanes accidents and deaths, you will find that airplane crashes are very rare. According to statistics, on average, more than 5 billion people fly on planes each year, of which 400500 die in airplane crashes. That is only one out of 10 million passengers. Its as if one person per year died in New York, Moscow, or London!
But, for some reason, even when studying the statistics, many people who are afraid of flying think that, despite the calming data, misfortune will happen specifically to them. They will be among those 400500 people who will die this year, and its their plane that will crash. And the fear thrives!