I tried everything to get and to maintain healthy weight. I dropped weight, but then I gained it again. The problem is that I cant maintain the result. I keep this diet or another, then allow myself some treats and start to gain weight again.
Why does excess weight disturb you so much?
Perhaps, its because of my job. Frankly speaking, I cant drop weight anymore. I am concerned about gaining more weight
So, you are afraid of gaining weight?
Yes. It will be harder to drop pounds when I get older.
Fine. Got it.
My husband told me: You were a bit slimmer before.
And whenever he goes by, he pinches your tummy
Yes.
Got it. Larisa?
I dont like it! I hate this fat! I dont like myself! Of course, when I meet friends, they tell me: Why do you need to lose weight? You look great. You are doing well.
Of course, they want you stay like this.
Agree. I believe, they have to look critically at themselves. I am realistic. I am not pleased with what I see in the mirror. Staying in front of the mirror, I often think: What a mess!
I have to do something about it.
Well discuss this mess today. Actually, its not a mess at all. You say stuff like that because you are a bit tired and disappointed.
I always treat myself this way
Andrey Vasilyevich Trenogov, psychologist, psychiatrist:
We can gain some weight while getting older. On average, after the twenty-fifth birthday, you can afford to gain five and a half pounds every decade. For example, if at twenty-five you weighed one hundred thirty-two pounds, then at the age of thirty-five, your normal weight is one hundred thirty-seven and a half pounds At forty-five years you can weight one hundred forty-three pounds, and so on. But that is up to you Comfortable weight is something very personal, associated with values and self-identification.
Therefore, you should not count your perfect weight as height minus 100. You should stop dropping weight when you feel comfortable.
Nikolay Ivanovich Kosenkov, member of Petrovskaya Academy of Sciences and Arts, Ph. D. of medical science
While a person is not looking at the mirror, he usually likes himself. Then, why a person often considers himself fat after looking at the mirror? Even people suffering from lack of weight patients with anorexia and bulimia believe that they have excess weight and are try to drop it in every possible way. Any objective arguments weight readings, photos, opinions of others cannot prove to them that their problem is underweight, but not excess weight. Such behavior is called uncritical (distorted) attitude to weight.
Overweight people often preserve critical attitude to their weight. They realize that their weight is excessive. In addition, this view is supported by the people around and weight readings.
The reason for this behavior is that the mind of an anorexic patient has already formed a body matrix based on the constitution of top-models and celebrities who the person looks up to. Its a tribute to fashion, and at the same time, its the destruction of personality, replacement of reality with phantom, and desire to be like this phantom.
In this case, the error detector, after unsuccessful attempts to correct the behavior of the person, starts up the process of self-destruction. The person believes that there is another person in his body.
We can create another phantom to correct our body. For this purpose, you need to use your memories and your photos of the time when you were completely satisfied with your body. Then it will seek to return to the state that you had once. It will be you, not a celebrity phantom in the photo.
No! No! And no again! Is it really useful?
Many people want you to stay big, kind, and appeasable. You know, overweight people are considered friendly and soft.
They never say no. This is a great benefit for others. Have you learned to say no? Or you have always been able to do it?
No, not always. Life has taught me. But its still hard sometimes.
Nikolay Ivanovich Kosenkov, member of Petrovskaya Academy of Sciences and Arts, Ph. D. of medical science
We cannot say no when it corresponds to our intentions. We cherish and demonstrate in every possible way our best quality kindness.
This is the main mindset for many people: A kindhearted person never says no. They say, fat person is a kind person, because he cant resist delicious dishes and his desire for food.
But its not the worst thing. N. P. Bekhtereva, an academician of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, established that our brain has a special mechanism, so-called Error Detector. This mechanism continuously monitors thoughts of a person and compares them with actions: whether they correspond to his life attitudes and rules that were formed by his conscience during upbringing and education.
If such a comparison shows that a person repeatedly acts contrary to his conscience and principles, then the Error Detector forces a person to correct his behavior by using psychosomatic disorders as one of the mechanisms for influence on the person. We know that obesity is considered to be a psychosomatic disorder. This is often reflected in so-called compulsive actions and thoughts. These are the first obvious symptoms of psychological distress, manifested by inner anxiety, depression, fears, sleep disturbance, decreased concentration, and mental fatigue. At first, one psychosomatic disease occurs. If a person did not make any conclusions, another disease is added, then another one. If it does not help, a person does not want to correct his thoughts and actions, and the Error Detector starts up a self-destruction mechanism through very serious diseases or injuries.
The only salvation is to live in accordance with our moral instincts.
Live in harmony with ourselves, cherish positive thoughts, be kind, but do not demonstrate this quality everywhere and always, especially when you are not asked to be kind and to impose your goodness on a person..
Group session of psychologist
Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:
You are a lucky one. Well discuss this topic during our training for sure.
I started to gain weight at the age of thirty-five. Ive gained a lot of weight during the last four years. You know, hate myself sometimes.
You shouldnt. You know, I have an idea. Raise your hand if it is hard to say No for you If you cant say No Be honest. One, two, three Eight Nine! Nine people! As you see, the problem is vitally important. Some people take advantage of you. They take your time, money, attention and energy. As a rule, overweight person gives everything to others again and again. Who is the one he cares the least?
He himself.
Yes! Exactly. Ok, well work through this. You know, Im really impressed to hear that you can say No. Great!
Sometimes I can give a sharp refuse.