My son and I went out, there we were playing with a ball, it was rather for him to run and blow off steam, than my sporty interest in football.
I sat for a moment while he kicked against a wall, when a young girl came and sat next to me.
Is he your baby? She asked with a worried face.
-Yes, thats right, why do you ask? I asked, surprised by her attitude.
-I do not know, does he give you many trouble? She asked again.
-No, well the normal one of his age -I answered with a smile
- What about at the beginning? She asked again uneasily.
-Well, he has always been very calm I barely had any trouble sleeping the first weeks after his birth, other mothers say this is what cost them the most after having their children.
-Im pregnant, said the little girl, who should not be more than fourteen years.
- Congratulations, I said, giving her a hug.
She did not return the hug, she seemed somewhat self-conscious and I asked her,
-Are you okay?
-I dont know how to tell my parents, she said fearfully.
-Do you love him? -I asked looking into her eyes.
-Him? Of course, she said with a broad smile.
-I mean your son, I pointed out.
-I dont know, did you know ? - she returned the question.
-My circumstances were different, I was already married and we had been trying to be pregnant for two years, it was a blessing for us.
-You are so lucky, I dont know how he is going to react, Im afraid that he will leave me for this.
- Do not think that way, besides men are the way they are, they do not need reasons to leave you. Look at me, everything was fine between us, our boy was growing up healthy and one blessed day he went out saying he was going to look for a job and he never came back.
- Something might have happened to him, said the young girl, looking scared.
-Nothing bad I assure you, he called me a few weeks after saying that he had gone to another city to start a new life, he longed for his bachelor freedom and wanted to recover it.
- And he left you with the child? She asked worriedly.
-Yes, we are getting ahead thanks to my mom who takes care of him when Im at work. -I answered with a smile.
- I dont know if my parents would help me if I have the baby, she said worrie-dly.
-Parents are usually quite stubborn and insist on imposing their way of thin-king on us, but in the end you are the one who must live your life and if you decide to raise they child they must accept it, no matter how hard it is for them - I said putting a hand on her shoulder.
-Thats easy to say, by the way, is it true that it changes your life?
- What changes your life? I asked before answering the question she made in a whisper.
-After delivery, is it true that afterwards you dont feel anything when you are doing it?
-No, who told you that? I asked surprised.
-I dont know, in school they say since everything changes, what is under also changes and then you feel nothing.
-No way, it feels the same -I said in a reassuring tone.
- And dont the breasts fall? She asked me again embarrassed.
-Thats a matter of age, youll see when you reach your twenties or thirties, whether you like it or not youre going to have to wear a bra if you want to keep them up.
-But they say that breastfeeding make them fall earlier.
-There is nothing wrong with that, believe me, as I said, for all of us, I repeat, all of us , the time comes when they dont stand up anymore, it depends on each person if it will be earlier or later, for some it may be while raising child, others might be because of wearing too tight bras or simply because of the pass of time.
- Does it hurts as much as you see in movies? She asked uneasily.
- The moment of delivery? I asked to be sure of her doubt.
-Yes she answered while nodding.
-Well, it hurts a lot, but thats what the child birth exercises are for , you are been taught how to dilate and breathe at the same time, then its just a matter of effort and a lot of pushing.
-But does it hurts? she insisted in this question.
-It hurts a lot, but you later forget about it, I said fondly.
- How do you forget? She asked surprised.
-Yes, of course, my gynaecologist explained that before the moment of con-tractions, the brain has a mechanism of erasing those painful memories, be-cause if this wasnt the case, no one would ever have more than one child as a result of the bad memory that moment gives but this is not like this.
-Well, I dont even know if I want to have my first child, so I dont consider having another, she said thoughtfully.
-Dont hurry, everything will come if you and your partner want it, I said with a sincere smile.
-But , what if he leaves me? What am I going to do? What if my parents dont like this and reject me? How am I going to live? She asked scared.
- You see, first you have to decide whether telling your parents or not, make them understand the situation, and that they give you their support as their obligation as parents.
Then talk to your partner, who will surely be excited to know that you will ha-ve his child. But as always you have to respect his freedom, if he decides to leave you dont worry, it will be a sign that he doesnt deserve you- I said cal-mly.
-I dont know, if you say so, and you have already gone through this, it seems fine by me, although what worries me the most is that everyone noticed and that I cannot disguise it with big clothes.
-You dont need to hide it, it is not something you should be ashamed of, it is a great blessing that you have received, to be able to participate in the miracle of creation - I said with joy seeing that my words made an effect on that girl who was now calm.
On my way after leaving behind that nice woman with her child who played football in the park, I was repeating to myself everything she had told me, es-pecially that part I liked that I was a contribution to the task of creation, I had not seen it this way before.
That woman, without knowing me, had solved many of my doubts about preg-nancy and the effects on my body, even though I was still looking at my body to be too flat to be able to have a child.
I have been used to seeing well-formed women with big breasts feed those hu-ge babies, how would such a baby fit inside of me ? I dont have the conditions of having a baby.
Despite what that lady had just told me, I panicked, but I didnt listen to it, I went back home, went to the kitchen where my mother was preparing dinner and said,
-Mum, I have a good and a bad news, which one do you want first?
She had already heard me speak to her that way before and did not pay much attention to me and after a moment of silence that seemed eternal, I told her,
-Im pregnant.
She heard this and what she had in her hand fell off making a big noise on the plate. That scared me, because I thought that my mother could hit me or scold me, I was scared so I took a step back, but instead, she approached me with a big smile, hugged me and said,
- My little girl, who has already become a woman, how come I didnt realise that you have grown so fast?
I was still feeling insecure about the situation, because I wasnt sure if this was a sign that she agreed with what I said or she felt sorry for my situation, so I asked her,
- Arent you angry?
-No, not at all, my girl, she said, kissing my forehead.