Rafe followed Alexas instructions, shocked that she didnt rush right over and pick up the chair for him, which was what wouldve happened with the hospital nurses or Sierra and Doug. Once he had the chair on solid footing, he felt a rare sense of accomplishment, the first hed experienced since his injury. Thanks, he said gruffly, begrudgingly giving Alexa a sliver of respect. I hate the way everyone treats me like a cripple. Its almost worse than being sent home with a medal while buddies I shouldve saved came home in caskets.
The term used now is disabled, not crippled. And I have high expectations for you. Alexa placed a couple of items in his hands. Slip on these sunglasses and well be on our way. Youll need the gloves in the barn. Count how many steps it takes you to get to the barn from the back door. Counting steps and remembering the number puts you on the first rung of the ladder to independence, Major.
That put her up another notch on Rafes judgment scale. I recall asking you to call me Rafe. I was discharged from the army months ago.
Okay, but then dont call me Doc. Ive never been one of the seven dwarfs.
Rafe cracked a partial smile. You got me there.
They exited the house with Dog, Alexa providing running commentary about the landscape.
Interest in what she was saying kept Rafe placing one foot in front of the other until she announced, This is it. Were at the first and smaller of my two barns. This is where I house the wildlife that park rangers find in their travels and bring to me. That started after I pulled over on the road one day to help a fawn someone had hit. The ranger dropped by to see how the fawn made out and found her well enough to return to the wild. He felt her touch his arm. On your left is the corral I use to train three-year-old horses I buy from an area breeder. The horse barn is eighty to a hundred steps behind this one, and sits at the edge of the woods, which is the end of my property. Next to the horse barn, I have a chicken coop and a pen foruh, other domestic animals.
Rafe wondered why she sounded hesitant, but decided not to ask. He took a deep breath and felt the tightness in his chest ease. The air smells of horses and a whiff of cedar. It sorta reminds me of home. Sierra and I grew up in Terlingua, west of here.
His words stoked memories of the carefree days when Mike, Joey and he rode bucking broncs to the buzzer all summer long. Afterward, the three of them enjoyed cold brewskies at a local bar. Whichever man walked out with the prettiest girl had to pay the tab. But, his buddies were dead. His fault. Hed been their leader, after all.
By this time, Alexa had led him into the barn, and suddenly, Rafe found it impossible to breathe.
Pungent air, thick with the aroma of earth and animal dung, set his head spinning. The clang of metal on metal as the door banged closed behind them shot him straight back to the last trek hed made through the Afghan mountains. That sound meant one thingbullets striking their equipment jeep. Familiar earthy smells of goats and the unwashed bodies of the men who tended the flocks threatened to choke him. Innocent looking goat tenders often hid automatic weapons under their worn robes. His body rigid, Rafe was sure he could smell goat, and he started to shake. His patrol should take cover. Where were they?
Someone was touching his arm, and a quiet voice said, Youre fine, Rafe. This is Texas. As soon as we finish feeding all the stock, well go soak away your anxiety at the hot springs. If thats not enough, Ill throw in a peppermint-oil back massage afterward. I know yesterday you nixed the idea of a trip to the springs, but I guarantee, once you step into the water, youll be hooked forever.
Her voice ricocheted like gunshots inside Rafes head. Desperate to flee, to find his patrol, he wheeled and tripped over an empty feed bucket and went sprawling. The clatter of his boot on the tin bucket sent the animals around him into a frenzy. He could hear a mountain lion hiss and snarl, and a great owl hooted and flapped its wings. Squirrels chattered nonstop and he heard the shriek of a hawk.
The animals must be warning him of an impending attack. Rafe grabbed Alexas legs and threw her down on the ground. He flung an arm over her torso and barked a series of staccato orders. Dont move a muscle. Let the heavy artillery rout out the enemy.
Easy, a soothing voice whispered. Youre okay. Breathe deeply.
Gradually his pounding heart slowed to a normal rate, and he heard the gentle patter of an animals paws approaching just seconds before a wet tongue lapped his face.
Rafe was aware that he was emerging from a flashback. Part of him understood that the threat hadnt been real. But a major portion of his brain was still befuddled. It made no sense that his face was buried in long strands of sweet-smelling hair. Again, a bird squawked in the background, and it rattled Rafe all the more when a woman shifted out from under him, sat up and forced him to do the same. What were they doing on the ground? Dr. Robinson. God, had he attacked her?
Are you okay? she murmured. You had a small flashback, Rafe.
The question had him sweating profusely. Was he getting worse? He hadnt had a single flashback at Sierras. This was his second since coming here.
You fell over a feed bucket, Alexa said, scrambling to her knees as she began calmly checking his face and arms for cuts or bruises. It was my fault. I saw the bucket, but didnt move it out of the aisle. Feed buckets belong on wall pegs, not on the barn floor where they can trip people. I swear Ill be more careful in the future.
Her cool, seductive touch telegraphed a signal to Rafes body. Even though he couldnt see the woman who hovered so close to him, he was still a man. All man.
His fingers flexed around Alexas upper arms and he pulled her forward until he could feel the outline of her soft breasts against his chest. It frustrated him to not be able to see her faceher lips. He knew they parted invitingly, because he felt her gasp, and tiny puffs of her sweet breath tickled his mouth. His grip tightened as he savored the thought of how those soft lips would taste.
Rafe? She wedged her hands between them, pushing his chest gently, but firmly. Youre still hallucinating. Im your doctor. Youre my patient. Snap out of it, Major.
The embarrassment of the situation slammed hard into Rafe. What was he doing? Disgusted with himself, he dropped Alexas arms like they were torches of fire.
This whole idea of me helping you feed your animals is stupid, he shouted. Its obvious Im totally useless. He struggled to get to his feet, and when he was upright, he ordered, Take me back to my room. Right now.
He heard Alexa lift something down from the barn wall.
Ill clip a leash to Compadres collar, she said in a neutral voice. If you want to go to the house, let him lead you. I happen to have chores to finish.
Rafe wound the loop of leather around his wrist, and although hed been stung by Alexas taunt, he followed the dog out into the fresh air.
Only after he was inside his bedroom did he allow himself to acknowledge his shame. Not so much for the flashback. He had no control over those. But he had turned tail and bailed on Alexa. One thing Rafe had never been was a quitter.
For an hour he paced the room, trying to think of a way to redeem himself with Alexa. He had hated lying around, useless in the hospital. And hed been in the way at Sierras. Alexa was the first person who seemed to believe he could be independent. If he stopped being pigheaded and listened to her, maybe he could learn to live on his own. That appealed to Rafe. Prior to the debacle in the barn, hed felt invigorated. Sierra believed his loss of sight was caused by a block to his brain. He wasnt so sure about that himself, but maybe if he started depending more on himself than on others, he could eventually function on his own, as Alexa believed.