You are not making the slightest bit of sense, Benedict pointed out rudely.
Benedict
No, hes right. Im all muddled. Camilla put a hand to her head and sighed. She gazed at Sedgewick for a moment, then gave a little nod, as if coming to some sort of decision. You can be trusted, can you not? I mean, you would never tell another soul, would you?
Of course not! The man looked offended that she could question his integrity even that much. But you must not tell me if it makes you uneasy.
No, I feel as if I must tell someone or burst. I have been thinking about it all day, driving down here. All daytruth is, Ive thought of little else for weeks. I dont know what to do, how to extricate myself from this tangle Ive created.
You have my word of honor, Sedgewick assured her solemnly, that anything you say will not go beyond this room. Feel free to tell us.
Camilla cast an uneasy glance toward Benedict, who grimaced and muttered, Trust me, Miss Ferrand, I shall not be telling your girlish secrets all over London.
Hastily Sedgewick put in, I will vouch for Benedict. He will not say anything. Now, tell me, what is this problem you are wrestling with so?
Camilla hesitated, glancing toward the punch bowl. Do you think Could I have a bit more of that punch? It is so warming.
Of course. Sedgewick politely took her cup and ladled more of the spicy brew into it, also refilling his and Benedicts cups.
You are going to wind up with an intoxicated female, Benedict warned him dryly, taking his own cup and drinking from it.
Dont be nonsensical, Camilla retorted. I have neber, uh, never, been intoxicated in my life.
Hush, Benedict. Now, Miss Ferrand, please proceed.
She took a sip of her drink, drew a deep breath and began. Well, as I told you, Grandpapa was taken with apoplexy, and the doctor put him in bed and said he hadnt long to live. Of course, I posted down to Chevington Park as soon as I heard.
Chevington Park? Sedgewick repeated, surprised. You meanyour grandfather is
The Earl of Chevington. Camilla nodded. She was looking down at the cup in her hands and so did not see the swift glance that her benefactor cast toward Benedict. Yes. My mother was his daughter.
My parents died when I was a child. So I was raised by my grandparents, as well as by my aunt LydiaLady Marbridge, that is. She was married to my uncle, the heir to the Earl, but he died when their son Anthony was just a child. So it was quite kind of her to take me on, as well. We all lived at the Park with my grandparents. I suppose that is why I am so close to my grandfather. My grandmother died a few years ago. I came to see my grandpapa as soon as I learned that he had been taken ill. The doctor said we should all be very careful not to upset him, that it would damage his health, maybe even send him into another fit. But I could not keep him from worrying about me. He was so very anxious, you see, because I am not married. He kept saying that I needed a husband to take care of me, which is, really, the most absurd thing, because I am quite capable of taking care of myself.
Benedict made a muffled noise, and Camilla turned to look at him sharply. He gave her a bland look in return and gestured for her to continue.
As I was saying, he was fretting himself tremendously. You see, Grandpapa is rather old-fashioned, and he is convinced that I ought to be married.
Sedgewick cleared his throat deprecatingly. Well, it is the usual thing for a young lady to do.
Yes, but, you see, I am not the usual young lady. I dont wish to be married.
Indeed.
Yes. She nodded vigorously. Marriage, you see, is an institution designed for the benefit of men, and I see little advantage for a woman in marrying.
I beg your pardon?
Well, its true. Men, after they marry, are still free to do as they please, the rulers of their households, whereas their wives have no freedom at all. They are expected to obey their husbands and raise heirs and keep the house in order. And nothing else. They have no rights and no freedom.
Sedgewick smiled faintly. Come now, Miss Ferrand, surely you overstate the matter.
Do I? She straightened, looking at him with narrowed eyes. A womans property becomes her husbands as soon as they are married. She, in fact, is considered his property, a chattel. He has the right to discipline her, to restrict her movements, even to beat her if he wishes. She cannot vote.
Vote? Good Gad, you wish to vote?
I dont see why not. But that is beside the matter. The point is, whether I wish to or not, I cannot. I have had an excellent education, and my understanding, I think I may say without contradiction, is not small. Yet the stupidest fellow is allowed to vote, simply because he is a man and owns property, whereas I am not.
God help us, Benedict commented dryly. A bluestocking.
Camilla shot him a look that would have blighted a less sturdy sort. I fail to see what is so reprehensible about a female of intellect and education. No doubt you are the sort who thinks that women should tend to their knitting and not speak unless spoken to or have a thought in their heads that does not pertain to dresses and hairstyles.
No, Miss Ferrand, actually, I have had quite enough of empty-headed females. He gave her a small bow, a faint smile on his lips conveying the distinct impression that he included her among that number.
Sedgewick turned the conversation back to its original track. So that is why you have not married, Miss Ferrand?
Yes. I see no reason to give any man control over myself or my property. I am a person in my own right, and I shall remain so as long as I do not marry. Therefore, I am twenty-five years old and a spinster, and while I am quite happy in that condition, it has worried my grandfather for years. After he was taken ill, it plagued him even more. He would tell me how he could not bear the thought of dying and leaving me unprotected. And no matter how I tried to tell him that I was fine, that I had the property my mother and father left me, so I am quite able to live independently, he would not stop fretting about it. He told me it was an unnatural sort of life I was leading, living on my own, even though I have a companion, so it is perfectly respectable. But he wanted me to have children and a man to take care of, and all the things that he said were right and natural for a woman. She paused, then sighed and confessed, So I told him that I was engaged.
Benedict let out a short bark of laughter. Oh, thats richthe defender of womens rights, pretending that she has snagged a husband.
I was trying to keep him from worrying! Camilla snapped. Of course, you would never think of such a thing as trying to save someone pain or worry.
Whatever your reasoning, he pointed out mildly, tis still a lie.
Fine words from a thief! Camilla retorted hotly. Or smuggler, or whatever you are. You dont hesitate to steal carriages and kidnap people, or to knock a man senseless or draw an innocent bystander into a fight, but you draw the line, of course, at telling a small fib to ease the mind of a dying man!
Benedict Sedgewick shot him a quelling look. Pay him no attention, Miss Ferrand. Benedict has little use for us ordinary mortals and our petty problems. Its perfectly understandable that you would have told your grandfather that story, so that he could die more peacefully.