Oh madam, cried the greatly shocked Cecilia, let him, then, see me no more!take, take him all to yourself! forgive, console him! I will not have the misery of involving him in repentance, nor of incurring the reproaches of the mother he so much reverences!
Exalted creature! cried Mrs Delvile; tenderness such as this would confer honour upon a monarch. Then, calling out exultingly to her son, See, she added, how great a woman can act, when stimulated by generosity, and a just sense of duty! Follow then, at least, the example you ought to have led, and deserve my esteem and love, or be content to forego them.
And can I only deserve them, said Delvile, in a tone of the deepest anguish, by a compliance to which not merely my happiness, but my reason must be sacrificed? What honour do I injure that is not factitious? What evil threatens our union, that is not imaginary? In the general commerce of the world it may be right to yield to its prejudices, but in matters of serious importance, it is weakness to be shackled by scruples so frivolous, and it is cowardly to be governed by the customs we condemn. Religion and the laws of our country should then alone be consulted, and where those are neither opposed nor infringed, we should hold ourselves superior to all other considerations.
Mistaken notions! said Mrs Delvile; and how long do you flatter yourself this independent happiness would endure? How long could you live contented by mere self-gratification, in defiance of the censure of mankind, the renunciation of your family, and the curses of your father?
The curses of my father! repeated he, starting and shuddering, O no, he could never be so barbarous!
He could, said she, steadily, nor do I doubt but he would. If now, however, you are affected by the prospect of his disclaiming you, think but what you will feel when first forbid to appear before either of us! and think of your remorse for involving Miss Beverley in such disgrace!
O speak not such words! cried he, with agonizing earnestness, to disgrace her,to be banished by you,present not, I conjure you, such scenes to my imagination!
Yet would they be unavoidable, continued she; nor have I said to you all; blinded as you now are by passion, your nobler feelings are only obscured, not extirpated; think, then, how they will all rise in revenge of your insulted dignity, when your name becomes a stranger to your ears, and you are first saluted by one so meanly adopted!
Hold, hold, madam, interrupted he, this is more than I can bear!
Heavens! still continued she, disregarding his entreaty, what in the universe can pay you for that first moment of indignity! Think of it well ere you proceed, and anticipate your sensations, lest the shock should wholly overcome you. How will the blood of your wronged ancestors rise into your guilty cheeks, and how will your heart throb with secret shame and reproach, when wished joy upon your marriage by the name of Mr Beverley!
Delvile, stung to the soul, attempted not any answer, but walked about the room in the utmost disorder of mind. Cecilia would have retired, but feared irritating him to some extravagance; and Mrs Delvile, looking after him, added For myself, I would still see, for I should pity your wife,but NEVER would I behold my son when sunk into an object of compassion!
It shall not be! cried he, in a transport of rage; cease, cease to distract me!be content, madam,you have conquered!
Then you are my son! cried she, rapturously embracing him; now I know again my Mortimer! now I see the fair promise of his upright youth, and the flattering completion of my maternal expectations!
Cecilia, finding all thus concluded, desired nothing so much as to congratulate them on their reconciliation; but having only said Let me, too, her voice failed her, she stopt short, and hoping she had been unheard, would have glided out of the room.
But Delvile, penetrated and tortured, yet delighted at this sensibility, broke from his mother, and seizing her hand, exclaimed, Oh Miss Beverley, if you are not happy
I am! I am! cried she, with quickness; let me pass,and think no more of me.
That voice,those looks, cried he, still holding her, they speak not serenity!Oh if I have injured your peace,if that heart, which, pure as angels, deserves to be as sacred from sorrow, through my means, or for my sake, suffers any diminution of tranquility
None, none! interrupted she, with precipitation.
I know well, cried he, your greatness of soul; and if this dreadful sacrifice gives lasting torture only to myself,if of your returning happiness I could be assured,I would struggle to bear it.
You may, be assured of it, cried she, with reviving dignity, I have no right to expect escaping all calamity, but while I share the common lot, I will submit to it without repining.
Heaven then bless, and hovering angels watch you! cried he, and letting go her hand, he ran hastily out of the room.
Oh Virtue, how bright is thy triumph! exclaimed Mrs Delvile, flying up to Cecilia, and folding her in her arms; Noble, incomparable young creature! I knew not that so much worth was compatible with human frailty!
But the heroism of Cecilia, in losing its object, lost its force; she sighed, she could not speak, tears gushed into her eyes, and kissing Mrs Delviles hand with a look that shewed her inability to converse with her, she hastened, though scarce able to support herself, away, with intention to shut herself up in her own apartment: and Mrs Delvile, who perceived that her utmost fortitude was exhausted, opposed not her going, and wisely forbore to encrease her emotion, by following her even with her blessings.
But when she came into the hall, she started, and could proceed no further; for there she beheld Delvile, who in too great agony to be seen, had stopt to recover some composure before he quitted the house.
At the first sound of an opening door, he was hastily escaping; but perceiving Cecilia, and discerning her situation, he more hastily turned back, saying, Is it possible?To me were you coming?
She shook her head, and made a motion with her hand to say no, and would then have gone on.
You are weeping! cried he, you are pale!Oh Miss Beverley! is this your happiness!
I am very well, cried she, not knowing what she answered, I am quite well,pray go,I am very her words died away inarticulated.
O what a voice is that! exclaimed he, it pierces my very soul!
Mrs Delvile now came to the parlour door, and looked aghast at the situation in which she saw them: Cecilia again moved on, and reached the stairs, but tottered, and was obliged to cling to the banisters.
O suffer me to support you, cried he; you are not able to stand,whither is it you would go?
Any where,I dont know, answered she, in faltering accents, but if you would leave me, I should be well.
And, turning from him, she walked again towards the parlour, finding by her shaking frame, the impossibility of getting unaided up the stairs.
Give me your hand, my love, said Mrs Delvile, cruelly alarmed by this return; and the moment they re-entered the parlour, she said impatiently to her son, Mortimer, why are you not gone?
He heard her not, however; his whole attention was upon Cecilia, who, sinking into a chair, hid her face against Mrs Delvile: but, reviving in a few moments, and blushing at the weakness she had betrayed, she raised her head, and, with an assumed serenity, said, I am better,much better,I was rather sick,but it is over; and now, if you will excuse me, I will go to my own room.