Dear, dear, dear! It is so dreadful! said the father, and he sat down and started to cry, too.
Now the gentleman went down into the cellar too, to see what they were doing there. They three were sitting and crying side by side[54], and the beer was running all over the floor. And he ran and turned the tap.
Then he said, What are you three doing? Why are you sitting and crying?
Oh! says the father, look at that horrid mallet! Just think: if you and our daughter marry, and you have a son, and he grows up and comes down into the cellar to bring the beer, the mallet will fall on his head and kill him. How awful! How awful! And then they all started to cry worse than before.
But the gentleman smiled and took the mallet, and then he said, I travelled many miles, and I never met such big sillies as you three before. Now I shall start my travels again, and when I can find three bigger sillies than you three, then Ill come back and marry your daughter. So he wished them good-bye and went away. The three sillies were all crying because the girl lost her sweetheart.
Well, he travelled a long way, and at last[55] he came to a womans cottage. It had some grass on the roof. And the woman was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder[56] to the grass. So the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing. Look at all that beautiful grass, she said, Im going to feed my cow with it. Oh, you poor silly! said the gentleman, you must cut the grass and throw it down[57] to the cow!
Well, that was one big silly.
Then the gentleman came to an inn. In the morning he saw a strange man. He hang his trousers on the knobs of the chest of drawers[58] and ran across the room and tried to jump into them. At last, he stopped and wiped his face with his handkerchief. Trousers, he says, are the most terrible kind of clothes in the world. Who could invent such things?! I usually spend an hour to get into my trousers every morning! So the gentleman laughed, and showed him how to put the trousers on[59].
So that was another big silly.
Then the gentleman came to a village. Outside the village there was a pond, and round the pond was a crowd of people. And they had rakes, and brooms, and pitchforks, and they were piercing the water of the pond. The gentleman asked what was the matter. Dont you see[60], they say, Moon fell down into the pond, and we cant catch it! So the gentleman laughed and told them to look up into the sky and that it was only the shadow in the water. But they didnt listen to him and abused him.
And he saw more and more sillies, even more than three. So the gentleman came back home again and married the farmers daughter. And if they didnt live happily, thats nothing to do with you or me[61].
The Old Woman and Her Pig
An old woman was sweeping her house, and she found a sixpence. What, said she, shall I do with this little sixpence? I will go to market and buy a little pig.
While she was coming home, she came to a stile, but the pig did not want to go over the stile.
She went a little further, and she met a dog. So she said to the dog, Dog! bite the pig; the pig doesnt go over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the dog refused.
She went a little further, and she met a stick. So she said, Stick! stick! beat the dog! The dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the stick refused.
She went a little further, and she met a fire. So she said, Fire! fire! burn the stick; the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the fire refused.
She went a little further, and she met some water. So she said, Water, water! quench the fire; the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog; the dog doesnt bite the pig; the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the water refused.
She went a little further, and she met an ox. So she said, Ox! ox! drink the water; the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the ox refused.
She went a little further, and she met a butcher. So she said, Butcher! butcher! kill the ox; the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the butcher refused.
She went a little further, and she met a rope. So she said, Rope! rope! hang the butcher, the butcher doesnt kill the ox, the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the rope refused.
She went a little further, and she met a rat. So she said, Rat! rat! gnaw rope, rope doesnt hang the butcher, the butcher doesnt kill the ox, the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the rat refused.
She went a little further, and she met a cat. So she said, Cat! cat! kill the rat, the rat doesnt gnaw the rope, the rope doesnt hang the butcher, the butcher doesnt kill the ox, the ox doesnt drink the water, the water doesnt quench the fire, the fire doesnt burn the stick, the stick doesnt beat the dog, the dog doesnt bite the pig, the pig doesnt get over the stile, and I shant get home tonight. But the cat said to her, If you go to that cow and fetch me a saucer of milk, I will kill the rat.
So the old woman went away to the cow.
But the cow said to her, If you go to that haystack and fetch me some hay, Ill give you the milk.
So the old woman went away to the haystack, and she brought the hay to the cow.
When the cow ate the hay, it gave the old woman the milk, and she went with it in a saucer to the cat.
When the cat lapped up[62] the milk, the cat began to kill the rat, the rat began to gnaw the rope, the rope began to hang the butcher, the butcher began to kill the ox, the ox began to drink the water, the water began to quench the fire, the fire began to burn the stick, the stick began to beat the dog, the dog began to bite the pig, the little pig in a fright jumped over the stile, and so the old woman got home that night.
Jack and the Beanstalk
There was once upon a time a poor widow who had a son named Jack and a cow named Milky-white. Every morning the cow gave the milk which they carried to the market and sold. But one morning Milky-white gave no milk, and they didnt know what to do.
What shall we do, what shall we do? said the widow.