Be it so, Jacob. I suppose Tom must have his way, as I spoiled him myself. I made him so fond of yarns, so I was a fool to be vexed.
Oh, life is a river, and man is the boat
That over its surface is destined to float;
And joy is a cargo so easily stored,
That he is a fool who takes sorrow on board.
Now Ill go on shore to master, and find out whats to be done next. Give me my stick, boy, and I shall crawl over the planks a little safer. A safe stool must have three legs, you know.
Old Tom then stumped away on shore. In about a quarter of an hour he returned, bringing half-a-dozen red herrings.
Here, Tom, grill these sodgers. Jacob, who is that tall old chap, with such a devil of a cutwater, which I met just now with master? We are bound for Sheerness this trip, and Im to land him at Greenwich.
What, the Dominie? replied I, from old Toms description.
His name did begin with a D, but that wasnt it.
Dobbs?
Yes, thats nearer; hes to be a passenger on board of us, going down to see a friend whos very ill. Now, Tom, my hearty, bring out the crockery, for I want a little inside lining.
We all sat down to our breakfast, and as soon as old Tom had finished, his son called for the history of Sam Bowles.
Well, now you shall have it. Sam Bowles was a shipmate of mine on board of the Greenlandman; he was one of our best harpooners, and a good, quiet, honest messmate as ever slung a hammock. He was spliced to as pretty a piece of flesh as ever was seen, but she wasnt as good as she was pretty. We were fitting out for another voyage, and his wife had been living on board with him some weeks, for Sam was devilish spoony on her, and couldnt bear her to be out of his sight. As we spected to sail in a few days, we were filling up our complement of men, and fresh hands came on board every day.
One morning, a fine tall fellow, with a tail as thick as a hawser, came on board and offered himself; he was taken by the skipper, and went on shore again to get his traps. While he was still on deck I went below, and seeing Sam with his little wife on his knee playing with his love-locks, I said that there was a famous stout and good-looking fellow that we should have as a shipmate. Sams wife, who, like all women, was a little curious, put her head up the hatchway to look at him. She put it down again very quick, as I thought, and made some excuse to go forward in the eyes of her, where she remained some time, and then, when she came aft, told Sam that she would go on shore. Now, as it had been agreed that she should remain on board till we were clear of the river, Sam couldnt think what the matter was; but she was positive, and go away she did, very much to Sams astonishment and anger. In the evening, Sam went on shore and found her out, and what dye think the little Jezebel told him?why, that one of the men had been rude to her when she went forward, and thats why she wouldnt stay on board. Sam was in a devil of a passion at this, and wanted to know which was the man; but she fondled him, and wouldnt tell him, because she was afraid that hed be hurt. At last she bamboozled him, and sent him on board again quite content. Well, we remained three days longer, and then dropped down the river to Greenwich, where the captain was to come on board, and we were to sail as soon as the wind was fair. Now, this fine tall fellow was with us when we dropped down the river, and as Sam was sitting down on his chest eating a basin o soup, the other man takes out a baccy pouch of seal-skin;it was a very curious one, made out of the white and spotted part of a young seals belly. I say, shipmate, cries Sam, hand me over my baccy pouch. Where did you pick it up?
Your pouch! says he to him; I killed the seal, and my fancy girl made the pouch for me.
Well, if that aint cool! youd swear a man out of his life, mate. Tom, says he to me, aint that my pouch which my wife gave me when I came back last trip?
I looked at it, and knew it again, and said it was. The tall fellow denied it, and there was a devil of a bobbery. Sam called him a thief, and he pitched Sam right down the main hatchway among the casks. After that there was a regular set-to, and Sam was knocked all to shivers, and obliged to give in. When the fight was over, I took up Sams shirt for him to put on. Thats my shirt, cried the tall fellow.
Thats Sams shirt, replied I; I know its his.
I tell you its mine, replied the man; my lass gave it to me to put on when I got up this morning. The other is his shirt.
We looked at the other, and they both were Sams shirts. Now when Sam heard this, he put two and two together, and became very jealous and uneasy: he thought it odd that his wife was so anxious to leave the ship when this tall fellow came on board; and what with the pouch and the shirt he was puzzled. His wife had promised to come down to Greenwich and see him off. When we anchored, some of the men went on shoreamong others the tall fellow. Sam, whose head was swelled up like a pumpkin, told one of his shipmates to say to his wife that he could not come on shore, and that she must come off to him. Well, it was about nine oclock, dark, and all the stars were twinkling, when Sam says to me, Tom, lets go on shore; my black eyes cant be seen in the dark. As we hauled up the boat, the second mate told Sam to take his harpoon-iron on shore for him, to have the hole for the becket punched larger. Away we went, and the first place, of course, that Sam went to, was the house where he knew that his wife put up at, as before. He went upstairs to her room, and I followed him. The door was not made fast, and in we went. There was his little devil of a wife, fast asleep in the arms of the tall fellow. Sam couldnt command his rage, and having the harpoon-iron in his hand, he drove it right through the tall fellows body before I could prevent him. It was a dreadful sight: the man groaned, and his head fell over the side of the bed. Sams wife screamed, and made Sam more wroth by throwing herself on the mans body, and weeping over it. Sam would have pulled out the iron to run her through with, but that was impossible. The noise brought up the people of the house, and it was soon known that murder had been committed. The constable came, Sam was thrown into prison, and I went on board and told the whole story. Well, we were just about to heave up, for we had shipped two more men in place of Sam, who was to be tried for his life, and the poor fellow he had killed, when a lawyer chap came on board with what they call a suppeny for me; all I know is, that the lawyer pressed me into his service, and I lost my voyage. I was taken on shore, and well fed till the trial came on. Poor Sam was at the bar for murder. The gentleman in his gown and wig began his yarn, stating that how the late fellow, whose name was Will Errol, was with his own wife when Sam harpooned him.
Thats a lie! cried Sam; he was with my wife. False papers! Here are mine; and he pulled out his tin case, and handed them to the court.
The judge said that this was not the way to try people and that Sam must hold his tongue; so the trial went on, and at first they had it all their own way. Then our turn came, and I was called up to prove what had passed, and I stated how the man was with Sams wife, and how he, having the harpoon-iron in his hand, had run it through his body. Then they compared the certificates, and it was proved that the little Jezebel had married them both; but she had married Sam first, so he had the most right to her; but fancying the other man afterwards, she thought she might as well have two strings to her bow. So the judge declared that she was Sams wife, and that any man, even without the harpoon in his hand, would be justified in killing a man whom he found in bed with his own wife. So Sam went scot-free; but the judge wouldnt let off Sams wife, as she had caused murder by her wicked conduct; he tried her aterwards for biggery, as they call it, and sent her over the water for life. Sam never held up his head aterwards; what with having killed an innocent man, and the haviour of his wife, he was always down. He went out to the fishery, and a whale cut the boat in two with her tail; Sam was stunned, and went down like a stone. So you see the mischief brought about by this little Jezebel, who must have two husbands, and be damned to her.