Now, then, said Algernon, squaring up to his cousin in good style, nows the time for that unwholesome old boy underneath to commence groaning.
Step as light as you can, replied Edward, meeting him with the pretty motion of the gloves.
Ill step as light as a French dancing-master. Lets go to Paris and learn the savate, Ned. It must be a new sensation to stand on one leg and knock a fellows hat off with the other.
Stick to your fists.
Hang it! I wish your fists wouldnt stick to me so.
You talk too much.
Gad, I dont get puffy half so soon as you.
I want country air.
You said you were going out, old Ned.
I changed my mind.
Saying which, Edward shut his teeth, and talked for two or three hot minutes wholly with his fists. The room shook under Algernons boundings to right and left till a blow sent him back on the breakfast-table, shattered a cup on the floor, and bespattered his close flannel shirt with a funereal coffee-tinge.
What the deuce I said to bring that on myself, I dont know, Algernon remarked as he rose. Anything connected with the country disagreeable to you, Ned? Come! a bout of quiet scientific boxing, and none of these beastly rushes, as if you were singling me out of a crowd of magsmen. Did you go to church yesterday, Ned? Confound it, youre on me again, are you?
And Algernon went on spouting unintelligible talk under a torrent of blows. He lost his temper and fought out at them; but as it speedily became evident to him that the loss laid him open to punishment, he prudently recovered it, sparred, danced about, and contrived to shake the room in a manner that caused Edward to drop his arms, in consideration for the distracted occupant of the chambers below. Algernon accepted the truce, and made it peace by casting off one glove.
There! thats a pleasant morning breather, he said, and sauntered to the window to look at the river. I always feel the want of it when I dont get it. I could take a thrashing rather than not on with the gloves to begin the day. Look at those boats! Fancy my having to go down to the city. It makes me feel like my blood circulating the wrong way. My fatherll suffer some day, for keeping me at this low ebb of cash, by jingo!
He uttered this with a prophetic fierceness.
I cannot even scrape together enough for entrance money to a Club. Its sickening! I wonder whether I shall ever get used to banking work? Theres an old clerk in our office who says he should feel ill if he missed a day. And the old porter beats himbangs him to fits. I believe hed die off if he didnt see the house open to the minute. They say that old boys got a pretty niece; but he dont bring her to the office now. Reward of merit!Mr. Anthony Hackbut is going to receive ten pounds a year extra. Thats for his honesty. I wonder whether I could earn a reputation for the sake of a prospect of ten extra pounds to my salary. Ive got a salary! hurrah! But if they keep me to my hundred and fifty per annum, dont let them trust me every day with the bags, as they do that old fellow. Some of the men say hes good to lend fifty pounds at a pinch.Are the chops coming, Ned?
The chops are coming, said Edward, who had thrown on a boating-coat and plunged into a book, and spoke echoing.
Heres little Peggy Lovell. Algernon faced this portrait. It dont do her justice. Shes got more life, more change in her, more fire. Shes starting for town, I hear.
She is starting for town, said Edward.
How do you know that? Algernon swung about to ask.
Edward looked round to him. By the fact of your not having fished for a holiday this week. How did you leave her yesterday, Algy? Quite well, I hope.
The ingenuous face of the young gentleman crimsoned.
Oh, she was well, he said. Ha! I see there can be some attraction in your dark women.
You mean that Judith? Yes, shes a good diversion. Edward gave a two-edged response. What train did you come up by last night?
The last from Wrexby. That reminds me: I saw a young Judith just as I got out. She wanted a cab. I called it for her. She belongs to old Hackbut of the Bankthe old porter, you know. If it wasnt that theres always something about dark women which makes me think theyre going to have a moustache, I should take to that girls face.
Edward launched forth an invective against fair women.
What have they done to you-what have they done? said Algernon.
My good fellow, theyre nothing but colour. Theyve no conscience. If they swear a thing to you one moment, they break it the next. They cant help doing it. You dont ask a gilt weathercock to keep faith with anything but the wind, do you? Its an ass that trusts a fair woman at all, or has anything to do with the confounded set. Cleopatra was fair; so was Delilah; so is the Devils wife. Reach me that book of Reports.
By jingo! cried Algernon, my stomach reports that if provision doesnt soon approachwhy dont you keep a French cook here, Ned? Lets give up the women, and take to a French cook.
Edward yawned horribly. All in good time. Its what we come to. Its philosophyyour French cook! I wish I had it, or him. Im afraid a fellow cant anticipate his yearsnot so lucky!
By Jove! we shall have to be philosophers before we breakfast! Algernon exclaimed. Its nine. Ive to be tied to the stake at ten, chained and muzzleda leetle-a dawg! I wish I hadnt had to leave the service. It was a vile conspiracy against me there, Ned. Hang all tradesmen! I sit on a stool, and add up figures. I work harder than a nigger in the office. Thats my life: but I must feed. Its no use going to the office in a rage.
Will you try on the gloves again? was Edwards mild suggestion.
Algernon thanked him, and replied that he knew him. Edward hit hard when he was empty.
They now affected patience, as far as silence went to make up an element of that sublime quality. The chops arriving, they disdained the mask. Algernon fired his glove just over the waiters head, and Edward put the ease to the mans conscience; after which they sat and ate, talking little. The difference between them was, that Edward knew the state of Algernons mind and what was working within it, while the latter stared at a blank wall as regarded Edwards.
Going out after breakfast, Ned? said Algernon. Well walk to the city together, if you like.
Edward fixed one of his intent looks upon his cousin. Youre not going to the city to-day?
The deuce, Im not!
Youre going to dance attendance on Mrs. Lovell, whom its your pleasure to call Peggy, when youre some leagues out of her hearing.
Algernon failed to command his countenance. He glanced at one of the portraits, and said, Who is that girl up there? Tell us her name. Talking of Mrs. Lovell, has she ever seen it?
If youll put on your coat, my dear Algy, I will talk to you about Mrs. Lovell. Edward kept his penetrative eyes on Algernon. Listen to me: youll get into a mess there.
If I must listen, Ned, Ill listen in my shirt-sleeves, with all respect to the lady.
Very well. The shirt-sleeves help the air of bravado. Now, you know that Ive what they call knelt at her feet. Shes handsome. Dont cry out. Shes dashing, and as near being a devil as any woman I ever met. Do you know why we broke? Ill tell you. Plainly, because I refused to believe that one of her men had insulted her. You understand what that means. I declined to be a chief party in a scandal.