Then the dog is yours? said I as we went along.
No, he aint mine. He was mine onceven he was a pup, but I sold im to a young lady fora wery small sum.
For how much? I asked.
For five bob. Yesony five bob! I axed vun pound, but the young lady was so pleasant an pritty that I come down to ten bob. Then she said she was poorand to tell ee the plain truth she looked like itan she wanted the pup so bad that I come down to five.
And who was this young lady?
Blowd if I knows. She went off wi my Punch, an I never sawd em more.
Then you dont know what induced her to sell Punch to a low fellowbut of course you know nothing about that, said I, in a musing tone, as I thought of the strange manner in which this portion of my doggies history had come to light, but I was recalled from my reverie by the contemptuous tones of my little companions voice, as he said
But I do know something about that.
Oh, indeed! I thought you said you never saw the young lady again.
No more I did. Neither did I ever see Punch again till to-day, but I know for certain that my young lady never sold no dog wotsomedever to no low feller as ever walked in shoe leather or out of it!
Ah, I see, said I slowly, you mean
Yes, out with it, thats just wot I do meanthat the low feller prigged the pup from her, an I ony vish as I ad a grip of his ugly nose, and Id draw it out from his uglier face, I would, like the small end of a telescope, and then shut it up flat againso flat that youd never know hed had no nose at all!
My little sharp-witted companion then willingly gave me an account of all he knew about the early history of my doggie.
The story was not long, but it began, so to speak, at the beginning.
Punch, or Dumps, as I continued to call him, had been born in a dry water-butt which stood in a back yard near the Thames. This yard was, or had been, used for putting away lumber.
It was a queer place, said my little companion, looking up in my face with a droll expressiona sort o place that, when once you had gone into it, you was sure to wish you hadnt. Talk o the blues, sir; I do assure you that wen I used to go into that yard of a night it gave me the black-an-blues, it did. There was a mouldiness an a soppiness about it that beat the katticombs all to sticks. It looked like a place that some rubbish had bin flung into in the days before Adam an Eve was born, an ad been forgotten tee-totally from that time to this. Oh, it was awful! Used to make my marrow screw up into lumps wen I was used to go there.
But why did you go there at all if you disliked it so much? I asked.
Vy? because I adnt got no better place to go to. I was used to sleep there. I slep in the self-same water-butt where Punch was born. Thats ow I come to scrape acquaintance with im. Id bin away from ome in the country for a weeks slidin.
A weeks what?
Slidin. Dont you know what sliding on the ice is?
Oh!yes. Are you very fund of that?
I should think I waswen my boots are good enough to stick on, but they aint always that, and then Ive got to slide under difficulties. Sometimes Im out o boots an shoes altogether, in vich case slidins impossible; but I can look on and slide in spirit, vich is better than nuffin. But, as I was sayin wen you ad the bad manners to interrupt me, I ad bin away from ome for a week
Excuse my interrupting you again, but where is your home, may I ask?
You may ask, but it ud puzzle me to answer for I aint got no ome, unless I may say that London is my ome. I come an go where I pleases, so longs I dont worrit nobody. I sleep where I like, if the bobbies dont get their eyes on me wen Im agoin to bed, an I heat wotever comes in my way if it aint too tough. In winter I sleeps in a lodgin ouse wen I can but as it costs thrippence a night, I finds it too expensive, an usually prefers a railway arch, or a corner in Covent Garden Market, under a cart or a barrow, or inside of a empty sugar-barrelanywhere so longs Im let alone; but what with the rain, the wind, the cold, and the bobbies, I may be said to sleep under difficulties. Vell, as I was agoin to say wen
Excuse me once morewhat is your name? said I.
Haint got no name.
No name! Come, you are joking. What is your fathers name?
Haint got no fathernever ad, as I knows on, nor mother neither, nor brother, nor sister, nor aunt, nor wifenot even a mother-in-law. Im a unit in creation, I isas I once heerd a school-board buffer say wen he was luggin me along to school; but he was too green, that buffer was, for a school-boarder. I gave im the slip at the corner of Watling Street, an theyve never bin able to cotch me since.
But you must be known by some name, said I. What do your companions call you?
They call me bad names, as a rule. Some o the least offensive among em are Monkey-face, Screwnose, Cheeks, Squeaker, Roundeyes, and Slidder. I prefers the last myself, an ginerally answers to it. But, as I was agoin to say, Id bin away for a veek, an wen I comed ome
To which part of home? for London is a wide word, you know, I said.
Now, sir, if you go for to interrupt me like that Ill ave to charge a bob for this here valk; I couldnt stand it for sixpence.
Come, Slidder, dont be greedy.
Vell, sir, if you got as many kicks as I do, and as few hapence, praps youd be greedy too.
Perhaps I should, my boy, said I, in a gentle tone. But come, I will give you an extra sixpence if we get along well. Lets have the rest of your story; I wont interrupt again.
It aint my story, its Punchs story, returned the waif, as he stooped to pat the gratified doggie. Vell, wen I comd ome it was lateish and I was tired, besides bein ungry; so I goes right off to my water-butt, intendin to go to bed as usual, but no sooner did I put my head in, than out came a most awful growl. The butt lay on its side, and I backed out double quick just in time, for a most orrible-lookin terrier dog rushed at me. Bein used to dogs, I wasnt took by surprise, but fetched it a clip with one o my feet in its ribs that sent it staggerin to the palin o the yard. It found a hole, bolted through, scurried up the lane yellin, and I never sawd it more! This was Punchs mother. On goin into the butt afterwards I found three dead pups and one alive, so I pitched the dead ones away an shoved the live one into the breast of my coat, where he slep till mornin. At first I ad a mind to drown the pup, but it looked so comfortable an playful, an was such a queer critter, that I called him Punch, an became a father to im. I got him bones an other bits o grub, an kep im in the water-butt for three veeks. Then he began to make a noise ven I left him; so, bein sure the bobbies would rout im out at last, I took im an sold im to the first pleasant lady that seemed to fancy im.
Well, Slidder, said I, as we turned down into the mean-looking alley where Mrs Willis, my little old woman, dwelt, I am greatly interested in what you have told me about my little dog, and I am interested still more in what you have told me about yourself. Now, I want you to do me a favour. I wish you to go with me to visit an old woman, and, after that, to walk home with mepart of the way, at least.