Why dont you bring back my ruler, you spalpeen? said Mr OGallagher. Be quick, Johnny Target, or it will end in a blow-up.
The boy, who was not a little confused with the blow, sufficiently recovered his senses to obey the order, and whimpering as he came up, returned the ruler to the hands of Mr OGallagher.
That tongue of yours will get you into more trouble than it will business, I expect, Johnny Target; its an unruly member, and requires a constant ruler over it. Johnny Target rubbed his head and said nothing.
Master Keene, said he, after a short pause, did you see what a tundering tump on the head that boy got just now, and do you know what it was for?
No, replied I.
Wheres your manners, you animal? No If you plase. For the future, you must not forget to say, No, sir, or, No, Mr OGallagher. Dye mind menow say yeswhat?
Yes, what!
Yes, what! you little ignoramus; say yes, Mr OGallagher, and recollect, as the parish clerk says, this is the last time of asking.
Yes, Mr OGallagher.
Ah! now you see, theres nothing like coming to schoolyouve learnt manners already; and now, to go back again, as to why Johnny Target had the rap on the head, which brought tears into his eyes? Ill just tell you, it was for talking; you see, the first thing for a boy to learn, is to hold his tongue, and that shall be your lesson for the day; youll just sit down there and if you say one word during the whole time you are in the school, it will end in a blow-up; that means, on the present occasion, that Ill skin you alive as they do the eels, which being rather keen work, will just suit your constitution. I had wit enough to feel assured that Mr OGallagher was not to be trifled with, so I took my seat, and amused myself with listening to the various lessons which the boys came up to say, and the divers punishments inflictedfew escaped. At last, the hour of recreation and dinner arrived, the boys were dismissed, each seized his basket, containing his provisions, or ran home to get his meal with his parents: I found myself sitting in the school-room tête-à-tête with Mr OGallagher, and feeling very well inclined for my dinner I cast a wistful eye at my basket, but I said nothing; Mr OGallagher, who appeared to have been in thought, at last said
Mr Keene, you may now go out of school, and scream till youre hoarse, just to make up for lost time.
May I take my dinner, sir? inquired I.
Is it your dinner you mane?to be sure you may; but, first, Ill just look into the basket and its contents; for you see, Mr Keene, theres some victuals that dont agree with larning; and if you eat them, youll not be fit for your work when your play-hours are over. Whats easy of digestion will do; but whats bad for little boys stomachs may get you into a scrape, and then it will end in a blow-up; that is, youll have a taste of the ferrule or the rodtwo assistants of mine, to whom Ive not yet had the pleasure of introducing youall in good time. If what Ive hear of you be true, you and they will be better acquainted afore long.
Mr OGallagher then examined the contents of my basket; my aunt Milly had taken care that I should be well provided: there was a large paper of beef sandwiches, a piece of bread and cheese, and three or four slices of seed-cake. Mr OGallagher opened all the packages, and, after a pause, said
Now, Master Keene, dye think you would ever guess how I came by all my larning, and what I fed upon when it was pumped into me? Then Ill tell you; it was dry bread, with a little bit of cheese when I could get it, and that wasnt often. Bread and cheese is the food to make a scholar of ye; and mayhap one slice of the cake maynt much interfere, so take them, and run away to the play-ground as fast as you can; and, dye hear me, Master Keene, recollect your grace before meatFor what we have received, the Lord make us truly thankful. Now, off wid you. The rest of the contents are confiscated for my sole use, and your particular benefit.
Mr OGallagher grinned as he finished his oration; and he looked so much like a wild beast, that I was glad to be off as fast as I could. I turned round as I went out of the door, and perceived that the sandwiches were disappearing with wonderful rapidity; but I caught his eye: it was like that of a tigers at his meal, and I was off at redoubled speed.
Chapter Five
As soon as I gained the play-ground, which was, in fact, nothing more than a small piece of waste land, to which we had no more claim than any other people, I sat down by a post, and commenced my dinner off what Mr OGallagher had thought proper to leave me. I was afraid of him, it is true, for his severity to the other boys convinced me that he would have little mercy upon me, if I dared to thwart him; but indignation soon began to obtain the mastery over my fears and I began to consider if I could not be even with him for his barefaced robbery of my dinner; and then I reflected whether it would not be better to allow him to take my food if I found out that by so doing he treated me well; and I resolved, at all events, to delay a little. The hour of play was now over, and a bell summoned us all to school; I went in with the others and took my seat where Mr OGallagher had before desired me.
As soon as all was silent, my pedagogue beckoned me to him.
Now, Mr Keene, said he, youll be so good as to lend me your earsthat is, to listen while I talk to you a little bit. Dye know how many roads there are to larning? Hold your tongue. I ask you because I know you dont know, and because Im going to tell you. There are exactly three roads: the first is the eye, my jewel; and if a lad has a sharp eye like yours, its a great deal that will get into his head by that road; youll know a thing when you see it again, although you maynt know your own fatherthats a secret only known to your mother. The second road to larning, young spalpeen, is the ear; and if you mind all people say, and hear all you can, youll gain a great many truths and just ten times as much more in the shape of lies. You see the wheat and the chaff will come together, and you must pick the latter out of the former at any seasonable future opportunity. Now we come to the third road to larning, which is quite a different sort of road; because, you see, the two first give us little trouble, and we trot along almost whether we will or not: the third and grand road is the head itself, which requires the eye and the ear to help it; and two other assistants, which we call memory and application; so you see we have the visual, then the aural, and then the mental roadsthree hard words which you dont understand, and which I shant take the trouble to explain to such an animal as you are; for I never throw away pearls to swine, as the saying is. Now, then, Mr Keene, we must come to another part of our history. As there are three roads to larning, so there are three manes or implements by which boys are stimulated to larn: the first is the ruler, which you saw me shy at the thick skull of Johnny Target, and you seed what a rap it gave him; well, then, the second is the ferrulea thing you never heard of, perhaps; but Ill show it you; here it is, continued Mr OGallagher, producing a sort of flat wooden ladle with a hole in the centre of it. The ruler is for the head, as you have seen; the ferrule is for the hand. You have seen me use the ruler; now Ill show you what I do with the ferrule.
You Tommy Goskin, come here, sir.