Such was the state of affairs when I had arrived at the important age of six years, a comic-looking, laughing urchin, petted by the officers, and as fall of mischief as a tree full of monkeys. My mothers business had so much increased, that, about a year previous to this date, she had found it necessary to have some one to assist her, and had decided upon sending for her sister Amelia to live with her. It was, however, necessary to obtain her mothers consent. My grandmother had never seen my mother since the interview which she had had with her at Madeline Hall shortly after her marriage with Ben the marine. Latterly, however, they had corresponded; for my mother, who was too independent to seek her mother when she was merely the wife of a private marine, now that she was in flourishing circumstances had first tendered the olive branch, which had been accepted, as soon as my grandmother found that she was virtually separated from her husband. As my grandmother found it rather lonely at the isolated house in which she resided, and Amelia declared herself bored to death, it was at last agreed that my grandmother and my aunt Amelia should both come and take up their residence with my mother, and in due time they arrived. Milly, as my aunt was called, was three years younger than my mother, very pretty and as smart as her sister, perhaps a little more demure in her look, but with more mischief in her disposition. My grandmother was a cross, spiteful old woman; she was very large in her person, but very respectable in her appearance. I need not say that Miss Amelia did not lessen the attraction at the circulating library, which after her arrival was even more frequented by the officers than before.
My aunt Milly was very soon as fond of me as I was of mischief; indeed it is not to be wondered at, for I was a type of the latter. I soon loved her better than my mother, for she encouraged me in all my tricks. My mother looked grave, and occasionally scolded me; my grandmother slapped me hard and rated me continually; but reproof or correction from the two latter were of no avail; and the former, when she wished to play any trick which she dared not do herself, employed me as her agent; so that I obtained the whole credit for what were her inventions, and I may safely add, underwent the whole blame and punishment; but that I cared nothing for; her caresses, cakes, and sugar-plums, added to my natural propensity, more than repaid me for the occasional severe rebukes of my mother, and the vindictive blows I received from the long fingers of my worthy grandmother. Moreover, the officers took much notice of me, and it must be admitted, that, although I positively refused to learn my letters, I was a very forward child. My great patron was a Captain Bridgeman, a very thin, elegantly-made man, who was continually performing feats of address and activity; occasionally I would escape with him and go down to the mess, remain at dinner, drink toasts, and, standing on the mess-table, sing two or three comic songs which he had taught me. I sometimes returned a little merry with the bumpers, which made my mother very angry, my old grandmother to hold up her hands, and look at the ceiling through her spectacles, and my aunt Milly as merry as myself. Before I was eight years old, I had become so notorious, that any prank played in the town, any trick undiscovered, was invariably laid to my account; and many were the applications made to my mother for indemnification for broken windows and other damage done, too often, I grant, with good reason, but very often when I had been perfectly innocent of the misdemeanour. At last I was voted a common nuisance, and every one, except my mother and my aunt Milly, declared that it was high time that I went to school.
One evening the whole of the family were seated at tea in the back parlour. I was sitting very quietly and demurely in a corner, a sure sign that I was in mischief, and so indeed I was (for I was putting a little gunpowder into my grandmothers snuff-box, which I had purloined, just that she might smell powder, as they say at sea, without danger of life or limb), when the old woman addressed my mother
Bella, is that boy never going to school? it will be the ruin of him.
What will be the ruin of him, mother? rejoined my aunt Milly; going to school?
Hold your nonsense, child: you are as bad as the boy himself, replied granny. Boys are never ruined by education; girls sometimes are.
Whether my mother thought that this was an innuendo reflecting upon any portion of her own life, I cannot tell; but she replied very tartly.
Youre none the worse for my education, mother, or you would not be sitting here.
Very true, child, replied granny; but recollect, neither would you have married a marinea private marine, Bella, while your sister looks up to the officers. Ay, continued the old woman, leaving off her knitting and looking at her daughter, and is likely to get one, too, if she plays her cards wellthat Lieutenant Flat cant keep out of the shop. (My granny having at this moment given me an opportunity to replace her snuff-box, I did not fail to profit by it; and as I perceived her knitting-pin had dropped on the floor, I stuck it into the skirt of her gown behind, so that whenever she looked for it, it was certain ever to be behind her.)
Mr Flat is of a very respectable family, I hear say, continued my grandmother.
And a great fool, interrupted my mother. I hope Milly wont listen to him.
Hes an officer, replied my granny, not a private.
Well, mother, I prefer my private marine, for I can make him do as I please; if hes a private, Im commanding officer, and intend so to be as long as I live.
Well, well, Bella, let us say no more on the old score; but that boy must go to school. Deary me, I have dropped my needle.
My grandmother rose, and turned round and round, looking for her needle, which, strange to say, she could not find; she opened her snuff-box, and took a pinch to clear her optics. Deary me, why, whats the matter with my snuff? and where can that needle be? Child, come and look for the needle; dont be sticking there in that corner.
I thought proper to obey the order and pretended to be very diligent in my search. Catching aunt Millys eye, I pointed to the knitting-needle sticking in the hind skirts of my grandmothers gown, and then was down on my knees again, while my aunt held her handkerchief to her mouth to check her laughter.
A minute afterwards, Ben the marine first tapped gently, and then opened the door and came in; for at that late hour the officers were all at dinner, and the shop empty.
There are three parcels of books for you to take, said my mother; but youve plenty of time, so take down the tea-things, and get your tea in the kitchen before you go.
You havent got a shilling, Bella, about you? I want some baccy, said Ben, in his quiet way.
Yes, heres a shilling, Ben; but dont drink too much beer, replied my mother.
Deary me, what can have become of my needle? exclaimed my grandmother, turning round.
Here it is, maam, said Ben, who perceived it sticking in her skirt. Thats Percivals work, Ill answer for it.
My granny received the needle from Ben, and then turned to me: You good-for-nothing boy; so you put the needle there, did you? pretending to look for it all the while; you shall go to school, sir, that you shall.
You said a needle, granny; I was looking for a needle: you didnt say your knitting-pin; I could have told you where that was.
Yes, yes, those who hide can find; to school you go, or Ill not stay in the house.