At last, the young man decided to discuss it with EDo at the next nights stop, to not postpone such an essential conversation for a long time.
I wonder whats going on in the heads of my comrades-in-arms now? We move forward, measuring steps through this dense fog. There is nothing to think about, therefore I remember the past, so Im floundering between my temptations. Whats EDo thinking about, I wonder? What do the focused Todo and Ğan-Iolai think about? The hot-tempered Joe and Lado? Could it be that Im the first warrior who was subjected to such tests? Most likely not! There were others. But they had overcome their passions! For the Code still exists, and we live by the Code!
4
They sat by the fire. The image of Reyve did not leave DoAyves head.
Why did she attract me so much? What is so special about her?
DoAyve looked closely at the faces of the twin sisters Leerie and Nainuk; both apprentices were still very young. He decided they were beautiful. Both were pretty, with light-golden hair. It was only possible to distinguish them by the hair: Leerie had short hair, and Nainuk had hair below the shoulders. But the sisters didnt awaken such emotions in DoAyve. He simply treated them as his sisters-in-arms, his comrades-in-arms.
Why Reyve?
Now DoAyve had a look at Biu, a field chronicler. She sat and wrote something down on a sheet of parchment. She noticed DoAyve was watching her and looked up.
Did something happen? Is everything fine?
Yes! DoAyve came to his senses. What are you writing about?
About todays pass. Biu was a little surprised at the question.
But nothing happened today, did it?
We left Lauhan, walked along the path for a long time, fixed a camp all these are also events. They are important. The history of the people is written just like that.
DoAyve realized that now he might look stupid and decided to walk around the camping area for a bit.
Joe whacked his blunt sword across the huge stone. He chopped zealously and frantically.
Those like Joe cannot live without battles.
The ajoğan are distinct Itoshinian warriors. The most violent are brought to the battles with demons on chains or in steel cages, and then released. Then ajoğans take out all their wrath, their fury, their anger.
In Joe, a violent disposition had been noticed since birth. Thats why they had given him such a name. He was destined to be an ajoğan. He could often control himself, but not always. Should one make him angry he became demonic. Who knew what would happen in six years? Perhaps Joe would also need a cage.
Well, Lado, too, had a complicated temper, but he was unlikely to become an ajoğan. Lado knew how to restrain himself. Joe did not.
On the other side, sparks flew from the fire. Todo, appointed to be duty officer, was sharpening swords for himself and the novices.
All the soldiers sharpened their own swords. Those who didnt undergo initiation were not allowed to do so on the way. The Code said that competent sharpening was just as important as the strength and speed of a stroke. Those who didnt know how to sharpen the sword werent taken to be soldiers. And if one received the title of a warrior, he was required to take care of his own sword!
EDo, for example, never did it in public: either he walked away from the camping place, or waited for everyone to fall asleep, and then would take up the duty. And, it seems, that the time of this covenant rite was now approaching.
Curfew! EDo commanded. Ill go on watch first; once the brume ends, Lado; at dawn, Todo!
The camp came to life. If EDo gave an order, it had to be carried out. Five minutes later, everyone was lying on the ground, covered with yauls skins.
EDo tossed the thorns into the fire and only then noticed DoAyve nearby.
What about you? The udoğan was surprised. I gave the order!
I do not want to, DoAyve replied, crouched by the fire.
What do you mean I do not want to? Today you must sleep! Youll be on duty tomorrow!
I wont fall asleep, DoAyve insisted, choosing his words carefully, I wanted to ask you to ask for help advice. Im distraught in my soul, and I cannot overcome it.
Well, well, well, EDo changed his tone. Distraught is no good! Distraught is death for a warrior, for the warrior who is distraught ceases being a warrior. This feeling overrides the essence of the warrior! The udoğan quoted lines from the Code, but then turned to his assistant. Tell me!
I do not know how should I start? Tell me, what is the most beautiful thing youve seen in your life?
Battle, DoAyve, battle this is the most beautiful thing for a warrior! The answer was rather careless, but seemed sincere.
Thats true but I mean something other than battles. The Imperial Palace? Is it beautiful?
Only udoğans were allowed to visit the palace of the ruler of the Empire. Yes, all the guards and caretakers also held a title. Women were treated in the same way, except for the venerable widows who had lost their husbands in battles. They were disposed to cook, clean, and carry out other household chores in the Imperial Palace.
It is majestic, said EDo, giving his assessment.
And the Emperors famous gardens? The hall of valor? And the daughter of the Emperor? Tsvetsho? You are the only man who has seen her, arent you?
EDo was silent. DoAyve even assumed that he wasnt listening. Or maybe he is thinking? Remembering? But then he saw EDos face turn pale, and a vein twitched in his cheekbone. Suddenly, the udoğan unfastened Hanvet from the belt, removed it from its sheath, picked up a flat stone from the ground and began to sharpen his sword.
For the first time, EDo was sharpening his sword in front of him, in front of DoAyve!
The grinding stone slid gently along the sparkling blade, striking golden sparks. It looked fascinating.
This is wonderful! the udoğan finally uttered, nodding at the sword.
DoAyve thought that the commander had not understood him.
Im talking about a different thing. You see, in Shohan, shortly before we set off on our trip, I met the young and beautiful Reyve and since then only she is in my heart, explained DoAyve, who got carried away spilling out everything that was boiling up inside him.
I cant think about battles! I cant hold a sword in my hands! I want to be with her, and not to go to war, yet Im a warrior and I want to be one! But somehow, Im drawn away. Why? This is feeling, right? he looked at EDo.
Yes, EDo replied.
And you was it ever like this for you?
Like that, never! EDos responses became exceptionally dry.
Is the feeling a bad thing? the young man continued. For if its interfering with battle, then, Id think, yes. Am I right?
Right.
You know, it seems to me I was incredibly excited about our journey when I realized that I could escape from my feelings! But it turns out that that is not how it is! Im running from Reyve, but not from my feelings for her. The feelings take over again and again! Perhaps you dont understand me. You said it yourself that you have never felt anything like that.