What happened?
DeMarco took a moment, perhaps considering whether or not she wanted to delve into the story. With another large sip of wine, she decided to go ahead with it. She let out a sigh and began.
I knew I was gay when I was fourteen. I had my first girlfriend when I was sixteen. When I was seventeen, my girlfriend Rose and Ishe was nineteendecided that we were going to go ahead and come out. We both had kept it a secret, particularly from our parents. So there we wereabout to break the news. I was supposed to meet her at her house and we were going to tell her parents, who, I might add, assumed that Rose and I were just really good friends. I was always at her house and vice versa, you know? So Im sitting there on her parents couch when I get a phone call. Its from the police, telling me that Rose was in a car accident and that she had died right away, upon impact. I was called rather than her parents because they found her cell phone and saw that I took up about ninety percent of her call history.
So I break down right away and her parents are sitting there, wondering what the hell happenedwhy Im suddenly in tears, on my knees in the floor. And I had to tell them. I had to tell them what the policeman had just told me. She paused here, poked at her salad a bit, and then added, It was the absolute worst moment of my life.
Kate found it hard to look at DeMarco; she was delivering the story not as an emotional part of it, but as if she were a robot, reciting back a series of events. Still, the tale was more than enough to explain DeMarcos attitude the previous night when she, Kate, had volunteered them to break the bad news to Missy Tucker.
If Id known any of that, you know I wouldnt have volunteered us, Kate said.
I know. And I knew it then. But my emotions strangled any reason or logic. Quite honestly, I just needed to sit and stew in it for a while. Sorry you caught the brunt of it.
Water under the bridge, Kate said.
Have you done that a lot in your career? Breaking news like that?
Oh yes. And it never gets easy. It becomes easier to detach yourself from it, but the act itself is never easy.
The table fell into silence again. The waiter came by and refilled their wine as Kate continued to work on her burger.
So hows your man? DeMarco asked. Allen, right?
Hes doing good. Hes just about to the point in the relationship where he worries about me still being involved in the FBI. Hed prefer that I take a desk job. Or stay retired.
So its getting serious, huh?
It feels that way. And part of me is excited for it. But theres a small part of me that feels like it would be a waste of time. He and I are both quickly approaching sixty. Starting a new relationship at that age feelsodd, I guess. Sensing that DeMarco would latch onto the topic if she was allowed to do so, Kate quickly redirected the conversation.
How about you? Has the love life picked up at all since the last time we had this awkward conversation?
DeMarco shook her head and smiled. No, but thats by choice. Im still enjoying the Land of One-Night Stands while I still can.
Does that make you happy?
DeMarco seemed genuinely shocked by the question. It sort of does. I dont need the responsibilities and requirements that come with a relationship right now.
Kate chuckled. She had never been in the Land of One-Night Stands. Shed met Michael while in college and married him a year and a half later. It had been the kind of relationship where she had started to understand that they would spend their lives together as soon as their first kiss.
So wheres the next step in this case? DeMarco asked.
Im thinking about revisiting the initial case rather than just using it as a reference. Im wondering if theres new information that might have come up within the Nobilini family. Butwell, like your story about your girlfriend being killed while you sat on her parents sofa, its not territory that is easily ventured back into.
So more awkward visits and conversations tomorrow?
Maybe. Im not sure yet.
Is there anything worth filling me in on before I step blindly into it?
Probably. But trust meit would be better saved for the morning. Going into it right now is only going to keep us up late and screw with my sleep.
Oh. Those kinds of stories.
Exactly.
They finished their current glasses of wine and paid their checks. On the way up to their rooms, Kate thought about the story DeMarco had just toldof that sad glimpse into her past. It made her very aware that she knew very little about her partner. If they were working in a normal relationship, seeing one another nearly every day rather than once or twice every few months, that would certainly be different. It made her wonder if she was doing her part to truly get to know DeMarco.
They parted ways at their roomsDemarcos directly across the hall from Katesand Kate felt the need to say something. Anything, really, to let her know that she appreciated DeMarcos willingness to open up.
Again, I apologize about last night. Its dawning on me that I dont know you well enough to be making decisions like that for both of us.
Its fine, really, DeMarco said. I should have told you about it last night.
We need to be intentional about getting to know one another. If were trusting each other with our lives, its kind of necessary. Maybe outside of work sometime.
Yeah, that would be nice. DeMarco paused here as she opened her door. You said you had some thinking to doabout the old case. The Nobilini case. Let me know if you need someone to ping ideas off of.
Ill do that, Kate said.
With that, they entered the rooms, ending the day between them. Kate kicked off her shoes and went directly to her laptop. As she booted it up, she called Director Duran. As shed expected, he did not answer his phone but the line was then redirected to his assistant director, a woman named Nancy Saunders. Kate put in a request to have digital copies of the Nobilini files sent to her email as soon as possible. She knew that DeMarco had brought a few, but it was just the overview of the case. Kate felt the need to get back into the grittiness of the case, right down to the finer details. Saunders committed to getting it done, letting her know shed have them by nine oclock the following morning.
Cass Nobilini, Kate thought.
Shed thought of the woman almost right away, after Duran had told her about the possible connection. Shed thought of her again when shed heard the wails and screeches of Missy Tucker as she grieved her murdered husband, and then again while talking to Jack Tuckers friends.
Cass Nobilini, the mother of Frank Nobilini. The woman who had found it insulting and darkly improper for the media to latch onto the event of her sons murder just because he had once worked closely with a few popular men in Congress as a financial advisor. Kate felt that she had been a fool to even pretend that this case was not going to lead her back to Cass Nobilini in some way.
It was that thought that remained with her for the remainder of the night, clinging to the forefront of her mind as she eventually lay down in bed and drifted off to sleep.
***She could still see the crime scene in her head. The wear and tear of memory made it a little faded and rusty, but the haziness was stripped away whenever she dreamed about it. In her dreams, it was as clear as if she were watching television.