Gilbert nodded. In spite of his companion's resolute cheerfulness, he felt a distressing dejection creep upon him as he stood in the cold, darkening room. He could not feel the interest and hope which hitherto this project had inspired him with. The figure of the old caretaker impressed him painfully. For any movement she made she might have been asleep; the regular sound of her heavy breathing was quite audible, and vapour rose from her lips upon the air.
'What do you think?' Egremont asked, when Grail remained mute.
'I should think it will do very well. What is there upstairs?'
'Two class-rooms. We should use those for lectures. Let us go up.'
The old woman walked before them to a door opposite that by which they had entered. They found themselves in a small vestibule, out of which, on one hand, a door led into a cloak-room, while on the other ascended a flight of stone stairs. There was nothing noticeable in the rooms above; the windows here were also very dirty, and mist floated below the ceilings.
The caretaker had remained below, contenting herself with indicating the way.
'You seem disappointed,' Walter said. He himself had ceased to talk, he felt cold and uncomfortable.
'No, no, indeed I'm not,' Grail hastened to reply. 'I think it is as good a place as you could have found.'
'We don't see it under very inspiriting conditions. Fire and light and comfortable furniture would make a wonderful difference, even on a day like this.'
Gilbert reproached himself for taking so coldly his friend's generous zeal.
'And books still more,' he replied, 'The room below will be a grand sight with shelves all round the walls.'
'Well, I must make further inquiries, but I think the place will suit us.'
They descended, their footsteps ringing on the stone and echoing up to the roof. The old woman still stood at the foot of the stairs, her head bent, the hand against her side.
'Will you go out here,' she asked, 'or do you want to see anythink else?'
'I should like to see the back part again,' Egremont replied.
She led them across the schoolroom, through the dark passage, and into a small room which had the distant semblance of a parlour. Here she lit a lamp; then, without speaking, guided them over the house, of which she appeared to be the only inhabitant. There were seven rooms; only three of them contained any furniture. Then they all returned to the comfortless parlour.
'Your chest is bad,' Egremont remarked, looking curiously at the woman.
'Yes, I dessay it is,' was the ungracious reply.
'Well, I don't think we need trouble you any more at present, but I shall probably have to come again in a day or two.'
'I dessay you'll find me here.'
'And feeling better, I hope. The weather gives you much trouble, no doubt.'
He held half a crown to her. She regarded it, clasped it in the hand which was against her bosom, and at length dropped a curtsy, though without speaking.
'What a poor crabbed old creature!' Egremont exclaimed, as they walked away. 'I should feel relieved if I knew that she went off at once to the warmth of the public-house opposite.'
'Yes, she hasn't a very cheerful home.'
'Oh, but it can be made a very different house. It has fallen into such neglect. Wait till spring sunshine and the paperhangers invade the place.'
They issued into a main street, and after a little further talk, shook hands and parted.
That night, and through the Sunday that followed, Gilbert continued to suffer even more than his wont from mental dreariness; Mrs. Grail was unable to draw him into conversation.
About four o'clock she said:
'May I ask Lydia and Thyrza to come and have tea with us, Gilbert?'
He looked up absently.
'But they were here last Sunday.'
'Yes, my dear, but I think they like to come, and I'm sure I like to have them.'
'Let us leave it till next Sunday, mother. You don't mind? I feel I must be alone to-night.'
It was a most unusual thing for Gilbert to offer opposition when his mother had expressed a desire for anything. Mrs. Grail at once said:
'I dare say you're right, my dear. Next Sunday 'll be better.'
The next morning he went to his work through a fog so dense that it was with difficulty he followed the familiar way. Lamps were mere lurid blotches in the foul air, perceptible only when close at hand; the footfall of invisible men and women hurrying to factories made a muffled, ghastly sound; harsh bells summoned through the darkness, the voice of pitiless taskmasters to whom all was indifferent save the hour of toil. Gilbert was racked with headache. Bodily suffering made him as void of intellectual desire as the meanest labourer then going forth to earn bread; he longed for nothing more than to lie down and lose consciousness of the burden of life.
Then came Christmas Eve. The weather had changed; to-night there was frost in the air, and the light of stars made a shimmer upon the black vault. Gilbert always gave this season to companionship with his mother. About seven o'clock they were talking quietly together of memories light and grave, of Gilbert's boyhood, of his sister who was dead, of his father who was dead. Then came a pause, whilst both were silently busy with the irrecoverable past.
Mrs. Grail broke the silence to say:
'You're a lonely man, Gilbert.'
'Why no, not lonely, mother. I might be, but for you.'
'Yes, you're lonely, my dear. It's poor company that I can give you. I should like to see you with a happier look on your face before I die.'
Gilbert had no reply ready.
'You think too poorly of yourself,' his mother resumed, 'and you always have done. But there's people have a better judgment of you. Haven't you thought that somebody looks always very pleased when you read or talk, and sits very quiet when you've nothing to say, and always says good-night to you so prettily?'
'Mother, mother, don't speak like that! I've thought nothing of the kind. Put that out of your head; never speak of it again.'
His voice was not untender, but very grave. The lines of his face hardened. Mrs. Grail glanced at him timidly, and became mute.
A loud double knock told that the postman had delivered a letter at the house. Whilst the two still sat in silence Mrs. Jarmey tapped at their door and said:
'A letter for you, Mr. Grail.'
'From Mr. Egremont,' said Gilbert, as he resumed his seat and opened the envelope. 'More about the library I expect.'
He read to himself.
'My dear Grail,I have decided to take the school building on a lease of seven years, after again carefully examining it and finding it still to my mind. It will be free at the end of March. By that time I hope to have sketched out something of a rudimentary catalogue, and before summer the library should be open.
'I asked you to come and look over this place with me because I had a project in my mind with reference to the library which concerns yourself. I lay it before you in a letter, that you may think it over quietly and reply at your leisure. I wish to offer you the position of librarian: I am sure I could not find anyone better suited for the post, and certainly there is no man whom I should like so well to see occupying it. I propose that the salary be a hundred pounds a year, with free tenancy of the dwelling-house at present so dolorously occupiedI am sure it can be made a comfortable abodeand of course, gas and fuel. I should make arrangements for the necessary cleaning, &c., with some person of the neighbourhood; your own duties would be solely those of librarian and reading-room superintendent.
'The library should be open, I think, from ten to ten, for I want to lose no possibility of usefulness. If one loafer be tempted to come in and read, the day's object is gained. These hours are, of course, too long for you alone; I would provide you with an assistant, so that you could assure for yourself, let us say, four hours free out of the twelve. But details would be easily arranged between us. By-the-by, Sunday must not be a day of closing; to make it so would be to deprive ourselves of the greatest opportunity. Your freedom for one entire day in the week should be guaranteed.