Oh, yes, this is a wonderful govment, wonderful. Why, looky here. There was a free nigger there from Ohio a mulatter, most as white as a white man. He had the whitest shirt on you ever see, too, and the shiniest hat; and there aint a man in that town thats got as fine clothes as what he had; and he had a gold watch and chain, and a silver-headed cane the awfulest old gray-headed nabob in the State. And what do you think? They said he was a pfessor in a college, and could talk all kinds of languages, and knowed everything. And that aint the wust. They said he could VOTE when he was at home. Well, that let me out. Thinks I, what is the country a-coming to? It was lection day, and I was just about to go and vote myself if I warnt too drunk to get there; but when they told me there was a State in this country where theyd let that nigger vote, I drawed out. I says Ill never vote agin. Thems the very words I said; they all heard me; and the country may rot for all me Ill never vote agin as long as I live. And to see the cool way of that nigger why, he wouldnt a give me the road if I hadnt shoved him out o the way. I says to the people, why aint this nigger put up at auction and sold? thats what I want to know. And what do you reckon they said? Why, they said he couldnt be sold till hed been in the State six months, and he hadnt been there that long yet. There, now thats a specimen. They call that a govment that cant sell a free nigger till hes been in the State six months. Heres a govment that calls itself a govment, and lets on to be a govment, and thinks it is a govment, and yets got to set stock-still for six whole months before it can take a hold of a prowling, thieving, infernal, white-shirted free nigger, and
Pap was agoing on so he never noticed where his old limber legs was taking him to[47], so he went head over heels over the tub of salt pork and barked both shins, and the rest of his speech was all the hottest kind of language mostly hove at the nigger and the govment, though he give the tub some, too, all along, here and there. He hopped around the cabin considerable, first on one leg and then on the other, holding first one shin and then the other one, and at last he let out with his left foot all of a sudden and fetched the tub a rattling kick. But it warnt good judgment, because that was the boot that had a couple of his toes leaking out of the front end of it; so now he raised a howl that fairly made a bodys hair raise, and down he went in the dirt, and rolled there, and held his toes; and the cussing he done then laid over anything he had ever done previous. He said so his own self afterwards. He had heard old Sowberry Hagan in his best days, and he said it laid over him, too; but I reckon that was sort of piling it on, maybe.
After supper pap took the jug, and said he had enough whisky there for two drunks and one delirium tremens[48]. That was always his word. I judged he would be blind drunk[49] in about an hour, and then I would steal the key, or saw myself out, one or tother. He drank and drank, and tumbled down on his blankets by and by; but luck didnt run my way. He didnt go sound asleep, but was uneasy. He groaned and moaned and thrashed around this way and that for a long time. At last I got so sleepy I couldnt keep my eyes open all I could do, and so before I knowed what I was about I was sound asleep, and the candle burning.
I dont know how long I was asleep, but all of a sudden there was an awful scream and I was up. There was pap looking wild, and skipping around every which way and yelling about snakes. He said they was crawling up his legs; and then he would give a jump and scream, and say one had bit him on the cheek but I couldnt see no snakes. He started and run round and round the cabin, hollering Take him off! take him off! hes biting me on the neck! I never see a man look so wild in the eyes. Pretty soon he was all fagged out, and fell down panting; then he rolled over and over wonderful fast, kicking things every which way, and striking and grabbing at the air with his hands, and screaming and saying there was devils a-hold of him. He wore out by and by, and laid still a while, moaning. Then he laid stiller, and didnt make a sound. I could hear the owls and the wolves away off in the woods, and it seemed terrible still. He was laying over by the corner. By and by he raised up part way and listened, with his head to one side. He says, very low:
Tramp-tramp-tramp; thats the dead; tramp-tramp-tramp; theyre coming after me; but I wont go. Oh, theyre here! dont touch me dont! hands off theyre cold; let go. Oh, let a poor devil alone!
Then he went down on all fours[50] and crawled off, begging them to let him alone, and he rolled himself up in his blanket and wallowed in under the old pine table, still a-begging; and then he went to crying. I could hear him through the blanket.
By and by he rolled out and jumped up on his feet looking wild, and he see me and went for me. He chased me round and round the place with a clasp-knife, calling me the Angel of Death, and saying he would kill me, and then I couldnt come for him no more. I begged, and told him I was only Huck; but he laughed SUCH a screechy laugh, and roared and cussed, and kept on chasing me up. Once when I turned short and dodged under his arm he made a grab and got me by the jacket between my shoulders, and I thought I was gone[51]; but I slid out of the jacket quick as lightning, and saved myself. Pretty soon he was all tired out, and dropped down with his back against the door, and said he would rest a minute and then kill me. He put his knife under him, and said he would sleep and get strong, and then he would see who was who.
So he dozed off pretty soon. By and by I got the old split-bottom chair and clumb up as easy as I could, not to make any noise, and got down the gun. I slipped the ramrod down it to make sure it was loaded, then I laid it across the turnip barrel, pointing towards pap, and set down behind it to wait for him to stir. And how slow and still the time did drag along.
Chapter VII
Git up! What you bout?
I opened my eyes and looked around, trying to make out where I was. It was after sun-up, and I had been sound asleep. Pap was standing over me looking sour and sick, too. He says:
What you doin with this gun?
I judged he didnt know nothing about what he had been doing, so I says:
Somebody tried to get in, so I was laying for him[52].
Why didnt you roust me out?
Well, I tried to, but I couldnt; I couldnt budge you.
Well, all right. Dont stand there palavering all day, but out with you and see if theres a fish on the lines for breakfast. Ill be along in a minute.
He unlocked the door, and I cleared out up the river-bank. I noticed some pieces of limbs and such things floating down, and a sprinkling of bark; so I knowed the river had begun to rise. I reckoned I would have great times now if I was over at the town. The June rise used to be always luck for me; because as soon as that rise begins here comes cordwood floating down, and pieces of log rafts sometimes a dozen logs together; so all you have to do is to catch them and sell them to the wood-yards and the sawmill.
I went along up the bank with one eye out for pap and tother one out for what the rise might fetch along. Well, all at once here comes a canoe; just a beauty, too, about thirteen or fourteen foot long, riding high like a duck. I shot head-first off of the bank like a frog, clothes and all on, and struck out for the canoe. I just expected thered be somebody laying down in it, because people often done that to fool folks, and when a chap had pulled a skiff out most to it theyd raise up and laugh at him. But it warnt so this time. It was a drift-canoe sure enough, and I clumb in and paddled her[53] ashore. Thinks I, the old man will be glad when he sees this shes worth ten dollars. But when I got to shore pap wasnt in sight yet, and as I was running her into a little creek like a gully, all hung over with vines and willows, I struck another idea: I judged Id hide her good, and then, stead of taking to the woods when I run off, Id go down the river about fifty mile and camp in one place for good, and not have such a rough time tramping on foot.