The dear girlI am rejoiced to think so, said Maltravers to himself; I knew there would be no danger.
Was he not in love himself?The reader must decide.
Alice, said Maltravers, one evening after a long pause of thought and abstraction on his side, while she was unconsciously practising her last lesson on the pianoAlice,no, dont turn roundsit where you are, but listen to me. We cannot live always in this way.
Alice was instantly disobedientshe did turn round, and those great blue eyes were fixed on his own with such anxiety and alarm, that he had no resource but to get up and look round for the meerschaum. But Alice, who divined by an instinct his lightest wish, brought it to him, while he was yet hunting, amidst the further corners of the room, in places where it was certain not to be. There it was, already filled with the fragrant Salonica glittering with the gilt pastile, which, not too healthfully, adulterates the seductive weed with odours that pacify the repugnant censure of the fastidiousfor Maltravers was an epicurean even in his worst habits;there it was, I say, in that pretty hand which he had to touch as he took it; and while he lit the weed he had again to blush and shrink beneath those great blue eyes.
Thank you, Alice, he said; thank you. Do sit down thereout of the draught. I am going to open the window, the night is so lovely.
He opened the casement overgrown with creepers, and the moonlight lay fair and breathless upon the smooth lawn. The calm and holiness of the night soothed and elevated his thoughts; he had cut himself off from the eyes of Alice, and he proceeded with a firm, though gentle voice:
My dear Alice, we cannot always live together in this way; you are now wise enough to understand me, so listen patiently. A young woman never wants a fortune so long as she has a good character; she is always poor and despised without one. Now a good character in this world is lost as much by imprudence as guilt; and if you were to live with me much longer, it would be imprudent, and your character would suffer so much that you would not be able to make your own way in the world; far, then, from doing you a service, I should have done you a deadly injury, which I could not atone for: besides, Heaven knows what may happen worse than imprudence; for, I am very sorry to say, added Maltravers, with great gravity, that you are much too pretty and engaging totoin short, it wont do. I must go home; my friends will have a right to complain of me if I remain thus lost to them many weeks longer. And you, my dear Alice, are now sufficiently advanced to receive better instruction than I or Mr. Simcox can give you. I therefore propose to place you in some respectable family, where you will have more comfort and a higher station than you have here. You can finish your education, and, instead of being taught, you will be thus enabled to become a teacher to others. With your beauty, Alice (and Maltravers sighed), and natural talents, and amiable temper, you have only to act well and prudently to secure at last a worthy husband and a happy home. Have you heard me, Alice? Such is the plan I have formed for you.
The young man thought as he spoke, with honest kindness and upright honour; it was a bitterer sacrifice than perhaps the reader thinks for. But Maltravers, if he had an impassioned, had not a selfish heart; and he felt, to use his own expression, more emphatic than eloquent, that it would not do to live any longer alone with this beautiful girl, like the two children whom the good Fairy kept safe from sin and the world in the Pavilion of Roses.
But Alice comprehended neither the danger to herself nor the temptations that Maltravers, if he could not resist, desired to shun. She rose, pale and tremblingapproached Maltravers and laid her hand gently on his arm.
I will go away, when and where you wishthe sooner the betterto-morrowyes, to-morrow; you are ashamed of poor Alice; and it has been very silly in me to be so happy. (She struggled with her emotion for a moment, and went on.) You know Heaven can hear me, even when I am away from you, and when I know more I can pray better; and Heaven will bless you, sir, and make you happy, for I never can pray for anything else.
With these words she turned away, and walked proudly towards the door. But when she reached the threshold, she stopped and looked round, as if to take a last farewell. All the associations and memories of that beloved spot rushed upon hershe gasped for breath,tottered,and fell to the ground insensible.
Maltravers was already by her side; he lifted her light weight in his arms; he uttered wild and impassioned exclamationsAlice, beloved Aliceforgive me; we will never part! He chafed her hands in his own, while her head lay on his bosom, and he kissed again and again those beautiful eyelids, till they opened slowly upon him, and the tender arms tightened round him involuntarily.
Alice, he whisperedAlice, dear Alice, I love thee. Alas, it was true: he lovedand forgot all but that love. He was eighteen.
CHAPTER VII
How like a younker or a prodigal,
The scarfed bark puts from her native bay!
WE are apt to connect the voice of Conscience with the stillness of midnight. But I think we wrong that innocent hour. It is that terrible NEXT MORNING, when reason is wide awake, upon which remorse fastens its fangs. Has a man gambled away his all, or shot his friend in a duelhas he committed a crime or incurred a laughit is the next morning, when the irretrievable Past rises before him like a spectre; then doth the churchyard of memory yield up its grisly deadthen is the witching hour when the foul fiend within us can least tempt perhaps, but most torment. At night we have one thing to hope for, one refuge to fly tooblivion and sleep! But at morning, sleep is over, and we are called upon coldly to review, and re-act, and live again the waking bitterness of self-reproach. Maltravers rose a penitent and unhappy manremorse was new to him, and he felt as if he had committed a treacherous and fraudulent as well as guilty deed. This poor girl, she was so innocent, so confiding, so unprotected, even by her own sense of right. He went down-stairs listless and dispirited. He longed yet dreaded to encounter Alice. He heard her step in the conservatorypaused, irresolute, and at length joined her. For the first time she blushed and trembled, and her eyes shunned his. But when he kissed her hand in silence, she whispered, And am I now to leave you? And Maltravers answered fervently, Never! and then her face grew so radiant with joy that Maltravers was comforted despite himself. Alice knew no remorse, though she felt agitated and ashamed; as she had not comprehended the danger, neither was she aware of the fall. In fact, she never thought of herself. Her whole soul was with him; she gave him back in love the spirit she had caught from him in knowledge.
And they strolled together through the garden all that day, and Maltravers grew reconciled to himself. He had done wrong, it is true; but then perhaps Alice had already suffered as much as she could in the worlds opinion, by living with him alone, though innocent, so long. And now she had an everlasting claim to his protectionshe should never know shame or want. And the love that had led to the wrong should, by fidelity and devotion, take from it the character of sin.