It strikes me were rather particular, his companion remarked.
Oh yes, theres no doubt were particular, Lord Warburton murmured. And then the three men remained silent a while; the two younger ones standing looking down at the other, who presently asked for more tea. I should think you would be very unhappy with that shawl, Lord Warburton resumed while his companion filled the old mans cup again.
Oh no, he must have the shawl! cried the gentleman in the velvet coat. Dont put such ideas as that into his head.
It belongs to my wife, said the old man simply.
Oh, if its for sentimental reasons And Lord Warburton made a gesture of apology.
I suppose I must give it to her when she comes, the old man went on.
Youll please to do nothing of the kind. Youll keep it to cover your poor old legs.
Well, you mustnt abuse my legs, said the old man. I guess they are as good as yours.
Oh, youre perfectly free to abuse mine, his son replied, giving him his tea.
Well, were two lame ducks; I dont think theres much difference.
Im much obliged to you for calling me a duck. Hows your tea?
Well, its rather hot.
Thats intended to be a merit.
Ah, theres a great deal of merit, murmured the old man, kindly. Hes a very good nurse, Lord Warburton.
Isnt he a bit clumsy? asked his lordship.
Oh no, hes not clumsyconsidering that hes an invalid himself. Hes a very good nursefor a sick-nurse. I call him my sick-nurse because hes sick himself.
Oh, come, daddy! the ugly young man exclaimed.
Well, you are; I wish you werent. But I suppose you cant help it.
I might try: thats an idea, said the young man.
Were you ever sick, Lord Warburton? his father asked.
Lord Warburton considered a moment. Yes, sir, once, in the Persian Gulf.
Hes making light of you, daddy, said the other young man. Thats a sort of joke.
Well, there seem to be so many sorts now, daddy replied, serenely. You dont look as if you had been sick, anyway, Lord Warburton.
Hes sick of life; he was just telling me so; going on fearfully about it, said Lord Warburtons friend.
Is that true, sir? asked the old man gravely.
If it is, your son gave me no consolation. Hes a wretched fellow to talk toa regular cynic. He doesnt seem to believe in anything.
Thats another sort of joke, said the person accused of cynicism.
Its because his health is so poor, his father explained to Lord Warburton. It affects his mind and colours his way of looking at things; he seems to feel as if he had never had a chance. But its almost entirely theoretical, you know; it doesnt seem to affect his spirits. Ive hardly ever seen him when he wasnt cheerfulabout as he is at present. He often cheers me up.
The young man so described looked at Lord Warburton and laughed. Is it a glowing eulogy or an accusation of levity? Should you like me to carry out my theories, daddy?
By Jove, we should see some queer things! cried Lord Warburton.
I hope you havent taken up that sort of tone, said the old man.
Warburtons tone is worse than mine; he pretends to be bored. Im not in the least bored; I find life only too interesting.
Ah, too interesting; you shouldnt allow it to be that, you know!
Im never bored when I come here, said Lord Warburton. One gets such uncommonly good talk.
Is that another sort of joke? asked the old man. Youve no excuse for being bored anywhere. When I was your age I had never heard of such a thing.
You must have developed very late.
No, I developed very quick; that was just the reason. When I was twenty years old I was very highly developed indeed. I was working tooth and nail. You wouldnt be bored if you had something to do; but all you young men are too idle. You think too much of your pleasure. Youre too fastidious, and too indolent, and too rich.
Oh, I say, cried Lord Warburton, youre hardly the person to accuse a fellow-creature of being too rich!
Do you mean because Im a banker? asked the old man.
Because of that, if you like; and because you havehavent you?such unlimited means.
He isnt very rich, the other young man mercifully pleaded. He has given away an immense deal of money.
Well, I suppose it was his own, said Lord Warburton; and in that case could there be a better proof of wealth? Let not a public benefactor talk of ones being too fond of pleasure.
Daddys very fond of pleasureof other peoples.
The old man shook his head. I dont pretend to have contributed anything to the amusement of my contemporaries.
My dear father, youre too modest!
Thats a kind of joke, sir, said Lord Warburton.
You young men have too many jokes. When there are no jokes youve nothing left.
Fortunately there are always more jokes, the ugly young man remarked.
I dont believe itI believe things are getting more serious. You young men will find that out.
The increasing seriousness of things, then thats the great opportunity of jokes.
Theyll have to be grim jokes, said the old man. Im convinced there will be great changes, and not all for the better.
I quite agree with you, sir, Lord Warburton declared. Im very sure there will be great changes, and that all sorts of queer things will happen. Thats why I find so much difficulty in applying your advice; you know you told me the other day that I ought to take hold of something. One hesitates to take hold of a thing that may the next moment be knocked sky-high.
You ought to take hold of a pretty woman, said his companion. Hes trying hard to fall in love, he added, by way of explanation, to his father.
The pretty women themselves may be sent flying! Lord Warburton exclaimed.
No, no, theyll be firm, the old man rejoined; theyll not be affected by the social and political changes I just referred to.
You mean they wont be abolished? Very well, then, Ill lay hands on one as soon as possible and tie her round my neck as a life-preserver.
The ladies will save us, said the old man; that is the best of them willfor I make a difference between them. Make up to a good one and marry her, and your life will become much more interesting.
A momentary silence marked perhaps on the part of his auditors a sense of the magnanimity of this speech, for it was a secret neither for his son nor for his visitor that his own experiment in matrimony had not been a happy one. As he said, however, he made a difference; and these words may have been intended as a confession of personal error; though of course it was not in place for either of his companions to remark that apparently the lady of his choice had not been one of the best.
If I marry an interesting woman I shall be interested: is that what you say? Lord Warburton asked. Im not at all keen about marryingyour son misrepresented me; but theres no knowing what an interesting woman might do with me.