Solovyov rolled out to the living room in his wheelchair. In the middle of the room stood a blonde woman in narrow trousers that hugged her slender hips and a loose white sweater. At first he did not recognize her. They had not seen each other in many years, and Solovyov had not thought of her in almost as long. He had simply erased her from his memory as something superfluous and unnecessary.
Hello, Solovyov, she said softly. Happy birthday.
His mouth went dry. Now he remembered her and recognized her.
You?
Me, as you can see.
Chapter 2
They drank coffee in the cozy living room, having sent Andrei upstairs to his room. Nastya observed the man she had not seen in more than ten years with curiosity. He had not changed much, except for the wheelchair. The handsome manly face was the same, and so were the gentle eyes that could look at you with such warmth and penetration. The light chestnut hair was still thick and there were very few gray hairs.
What is the meaning of your visit?
A feminine whim, she replied evasively.
Thats something new, Solovyov smiled tightly. I dont remember you being whimsical.
Ive changed.
A lot?
Very much. You cant even imagine, Volodya, how much Ive changed.
But I was still happy to see you.
Thanks. Im glad to hear it.
But why did you really come? Youve never wished me a happy birthday since we broke up.
Why did I come? I dont know. I wanted to see you, I guess, to see what youre like after all these years. I loved you, although you may not want to remember that.
What Im like now? Solovyov asked angrily. Im a widower and a helpless invalid. Satisfied?
Im very sorry, she said softly, looking into his eyes. Do you want to talk about it?
No. Its useless to talk about it, talking changes nothing. Well, then, dont talk about it.
His eyes grew warmer and for an instant Nastya fell under the spell of his incredible gray eyes.
You havent changed a bit, he said, almost cheerfully. Same sneak. Catch me up and turn things around to your benefit. What are you doing? Raking in the bucks in some business?
Of course. All us lawyers are working in business now.
Especially with your knowledge of foreign languages. How many do you speak? Three, I seem to recall.
Five, Nastya corrected him with a smile. English, French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese. But actually, youre right. The romance languages are so close you could consider them as one.
With your brains and languages, youre really too good for the police. Remember how worried you were after graduation that you wouldnt get a job with the police, that they would send you off to be a lawyer? You wanted to get into a uniform so badly then, I remember. Now you must laugh about it, right? Lawyers with experience are worth their weight in gold today, especially in domestic law and real estate. The richest people in Russia.
Nastya had gotten used to this sort of conversation over the years. At first she would get very angry, but then she got used to the fact that a lot of people considered her love of police work unnatural somehow.
And are you making a lot at your firm?
Not a lot. You know my passion for order. I wouldnt work in a company that made a lot of money illegally. But working legally and paying taxes, you cant make a lot of money nowadays.
Well, youve made enough to buy a car, he noted.
Thats my husbands car.
So youre married, too?
He couldnt conceal his surprise, and it took all she had to keep from laughing. Solovyov was always conceited. Did he really think that she would carry a torch for him to her dying day?
And whos the lucky man? Some New Russian businessman, Ill bet.
No. A Ph.D., a professor, prize winning academician, and so on. The whole thing. Plus a car.
A good deal, he snorted. Arent you worried about being a young widow, with such an elderly husband?
Not at all.
She had followed his thinking. He was probably imagining that since her husband was so honored and so old, she, Nastya Kamenskaya, had decided to have an affair and wanted her old flame for the job. It was better than looking for a new lover. The old ones are tested, known, dependable. And so she had looked him up, having heard that he was widowed. But she hadnt known that he was an invalid. And now he would definitely say something about it.
You must be disappointed to find me like this.
Right. There it was. He hadnt changed at all in twelve years. She could still read his mind.
I still dont know what youre like, she replied softly. Weve only been chatting for a half hour. Shall I make some more coffee?
Dont bother. Andrei will do it.
Solovyov pushed a button on a small square box and footsteps came right away: the assistant was coming down from the second floor.
Youve become an aristocrat, she joked. You call on the help even to make coffee.
He did not respond but stared at her. Once again she felt uncomfortable, as she had in those days, twelve years ago, when his eyes melted her. Could she really still have feelings for him? No, impossible. Couldnt be. He had too much power over her then, when she was a twenty-three-year-old law school graduate. He could twist her into ropes then and use her as a floor mat. She put up with everything and forgave him everything because she was head over heels in love with him. Now she was different. She didnt fall in love head over heels and she didnt let anyone use her. Even those who were much stronger.
Are you expecting guests? she asked when Andrei brought coffee with fresh strudel and went back upstairs.
A few people. Solovyov nodded vaguely.
At what time?
After five. Why do you ask?
If you dont want your friends to see me here, tell me. Ill leave early.
Nonsense. Why should I hide you?
I dont know. Who knows what your situation is. Maybe your lady will be coming.
Relax, Im expecting only men.
Well then, that makes me happy. That means my trip wasnt in vain.
She set her cup on the table, stood and came up behind him, putting her arm around his neck and pressing her cheek to his thick, wavy hair.
Solovyov, youre so stupid, Nastya sighed. Why havent you grown up in twelve years?
She felt his muscles tense. Was he trying to hide the fact that her touch was unpleasant to him or was he fighting the desire to embrace her?
Have you grown up?
Thats what Im trying to find out. Thats why I came here today.
Im missing something.
His voice was tense, but his muscles had relaxed somewhat.
I want to see if Ive stopped reacting to you. Youve bothered me all these years, Solovyov. I kept remembering how much I used to love you. And I want to know for certain that its over. Or not. One way or the other. Its better to know the truth, even if I dont like it, than to suffer through guesses and suppositions.
And what do you need this truth for? He bent his head over so that his cheek rested on her hand. How will it help?
It will help me understand whether Ive grown out of that love or whether Im still running around in training pants. Im going to be thirty-six this year. A watershed year. I want to approach it with my life in order.