It became immediately clear that nothing special had changed in the past day. I was still silently standing in front of an easel unable to squeeze out at least some tiny idea. It seemed that my entire mind was filled with alien thoughts and intentions. This feeling was so strong and sharp that even paralyzed my will for a while.
I tried desperately to shake off this hated burden. Ah, I wish it was just a bag full of sand and uncomfortably laying on my shoulder. Then I could easily throw it down and squaring my shoulders I could cast a proud eye at the whole world around me. However the more free from the strange ideas I became, the more it seemed to me that I was starting to lose myself as well, so much these ideas digged into my consciousness. Now the yesterday feeling of emptiness could be regarded not as bad as the realization that your brain was filled up and down with unnecessary things.
After hesitating for a while I did not come up with anything else but to go sleep again. Paper sheet remained completely clean, without a single stroke like yesterday. It represented my inner world, with the same emptiness and waiting for new and fresh ideas that could wake up and excite my mind.
I am almost falling asleep. The noise of city streets, wafting through the open windows, led me into a light slumber that was just about to immerse me into a dream. For a while, I will forget about my thoughts, doubts, that so much alarmed me lately. Sleepy-eyed I happened to see a pile of some books on the bottom shelf of the old chest of drawers. It is strange
It was strange that I did not even notice that they all had been here before. As if they were from some other life that I did not know before, but which was constantly following me like a shadow. Overcoming my reluctance to move and to make at least some movements at all, I came to the chest of drawers and picked up the first book. It was lying at some distance from the rest and was notable for its bright, colorful cover. The first thing that immediately caught my eye was the image of firemen, although judging by their faces and eye expression; they looked like someone else, but not firemen. Perhaps this strange incongruity drew my attention. The book was called «Fahrenheit 451».
The book title told absolutely nothing to me, and it was rather good than bad. My curiosity noticeably perked up and I began to read. Long time ago I liked reading and I could spend the whole evening diving with enthusiasm into a regular literary work. Then my passion faded by itself or maybe not by itself
I did not notice when an hour passed. My whole being was filled with some new, forgotten long ago feeling. Suppose, I could not create by myself, but I knew for sure that I was on the right way. I read about 40 pages, but didnt catch yet, what was the plot, although I liked the book in general. The dawn broke, even the sunrise seemed different to me, I vividly and with interest watched the solar disk, rising higher and higher and illuminating everything around.
Not waiting until the critical time, I hurried to dress, wash and left the house in the direction of the work. Although already then I was keenly aware that the work itself was not interesting for me anymore. And I couldnt even remember if it was ever interesting. Such situation is probably quite common for people who have lost their way and forgotten about their true aspirations. On arriving at work, I was ready to spend the day as quickly as possible and return home to continue reading the story of Ray Bradbury. To my great surprise today wasnt usual. Moreover, the changes began in the morning, when I still did not really understand that I was already in the workplace
At the entrance, there was a small line and I even imagined for a moment, that I could just turn back and not to go to work. How it would be nice just to walk around the city, shrouded in the morning coolness. To drop by a nearby café, order a strong coffee and start thinking about the future project, at the same time I even didnt have any idea what project it might be and how it could be developed, but I liked this feeling and I remembered it for a long time. Meanwhile line quickly disappeared somehow and I was inexorably drawn into the general crowd, peacefully and quietly following to their places. I quickly changed my clothes as usual, exchanged a few words in the hallway and on coming into the shop floor rushed to my workplace. Usually my first minutes were devoted to the preparation for the work, but as soon as I made a couple of steps, I was immediately beckoned by my boss. The conversation was short and quick:
Pack your things; you are transferred to another department. Youll find out all details on the spot, and also
Where am I transferred??? Why I I have not finished my work I tried to interrupt my boss, but due to surprise my words were slurred.
Pack your things, details will be later Petr snapped out and I slightly hanging my head walked to my workplace with not such a cheerful mood as it was before this conversation.
Everything seemed to be mixed up in my head. On the one hand, 10 minutes ago, I wanted to leave the company myself, and now I was completely disoriented by a simple transfer to a new place. I wanted to rebel, resent, but whom to and what for. Slightly ironic grimace froze on my face.
Sometimes you get used to certain circumstances and things; become attached to them so much that any interference in the usual routine causes almost a state of shock. This is a sure sign that life has gone deep into the track and its high time to change your environment.
On coming to a new place, I was handed a job description and some other documents. Having not come to my senses yet, I thumbed through it mechanically and, looking around, I started to learn my new job and my new colleagues. The day passed quickly and I did not even manage to notice that it was time to go home. And then I remembered about the book and about everything else. Having jumped up quickly from my chair and quickly said goodbye to everyone, I almost started running home. There was the book waiting for me on which I pinned my hopes for the revival of my abilities.
Today I decided not to distract on anything and already by the midnight, I had read the last page. I was definitely impressed by the main character, Guy Montag. His intention to find himself was very similar to what happened to me the last two days, which seemed like eternity, days that covered with an invisible veil everything that had happened before. Once again, the author of this bestseller reminds us, the readers, that somewhere far away, inside of every person there is a sense of the true path, that very path which will inevitably lead him to the absolute happiness! Even if this path is associated with overcoming a plurality of visible and invisible barriers.
The next few days every evening I sat down in my comfortable chair and enthusiastically read works of art until late night. And one day I noticed one unusual book. Several times as if not deliberately I avoided it and took another one. But now, I picked it up without thinking. Pages of this book like white wings opened before me, offering to plunge into the world of unbridled fantasies.
It was the work by Bernard Werber The Thanatonauts. The unusual book title and the beginning alerted me a little, but the more I sit over the book, the more interesting and charming it seemed to me. This book awakened in me the vague desire to learn something new and incredible. Having strengthened in my mind, this desire was growing more and more during the plot development. The story itself was quite strange to understand, especially for such an ordinary person as I was. It should seem, the two completely different characters met. After several years of searching of themselves and their mission in the world, they began to explore the completely unknown by that time area of human consciousness the limb. Step by step, they moved through the limb levels, each time being on the verge of death. This fine line between life and death let them move to an intermediate state of being their soul fluttered in space like a butterfly, revealing more and more facets of our vast universe. On deciding not to go to bed, I finished reading this book in one breath. I was still under strong impression from reading the content even after a few days.