We took two or three blankets for protection against frosty weather in the mountains. In the matter of luxuries we were modest we took none along but some pipes and five pounds of smoking tobacco. We had two large canteens to carry water in, between stations on the Plains, and we also took with us a little shot-bag of silver coin for daily expenses in the way of breakfasts and dinners.
By eight oclock everything was ready, and we were on the other side of the river. We jumped into the stage, the driver cracked his whip, and we bowled away and left the States behind us. It was a superb summer morning, and all the landscape was brilliant with sunshine. There was a freshness and breeziness, too, and an exhilarating sense of emancipation from all sorts of cares and responsibilities, that almost made us feel that the years we had spent in the close, hot city, toiling and slaving, had been wasted and thrown away. We were spinning along through Kansas, and in the course of an hour and a half we were fairly abroad on the great Plains. Just here the land was rolling a grand sweep of regular elevations and depressions as far as the eye could reach like the stately heave and swell of the oceans bosom after a storm. And everywhere were cornfields, accenting with squares of deeper green, this limitless expanse of grassy land. But presently this sea upon dry ground was to lose its rolling character and stretch away for seven hundred miles as level as a floor!
Our coach was a great swinging and swaying stage, of the most sumptuous description an imposing cradle on wheels. It was drawn by six handsome horses, and by the side of the driver sat the conductor, the legitimate captain of the craft; for it was his business to take charge and care of the mails, baggage, express matter, and passengers. We three were the only passengers, this trip. We sat on the back seat, inside. About all the rest of the coach was full of mail bags for we had three days delayed mails with us. Almost touching our knees, a perpendicular wall of mail matter rose up to the roof. There was a great pile of it strapped on top of the stage, and both the fore and hind boots were full. We had twenty-seven hundred pounds of it aboard, the driver said a little for Brigham, and Carson, and Frisco, but the heft of it for the Injuns, which is powerful troublesome thout they get plenty of truck to read.
But as he just then got up a fearful convulsion of his countenance which was suggestive of a wink being swallowed by an earthquake, we guessed that his remark was intended to be facetious, and to mean that we would unload the most of our mail matter somewhere on the Plains and leave it to the Indians, or whosoever wanted it.
We changed horses every ten miles, all day long, and fairly flew over the hard, level road. We jumped out and stretched our legs every time the coach stopped, and so the night found us still vivacious and unfatigued.
After supper a woman got in, who lived about fifty miles further on, and we three had to take turns at sitting outside with the driver and conductor. Apparently she was not a talkative woman. She would sit there in the gathering twilight and fasten her steadfast eyes on a mosquito rooting into her arm, and slowly she would raise her other hand till she had got his range, and then she would launch a slap at him that would have jolted a cow; and after that she would sit and contemplate the corpse with tranquil satisfaction for she never missed her mosquito; she was a dead shot at short range. She never removed a carcase, but left them there for bait. I sat by this grim Sphynx and watched her kill thirty or forty mosquitoes watched her, and waited for her to say something, but she never did. So I finally opened the conversation myself. I said:
The mosquitoes are pretty bad, about here, madam.
You bet!
What did I understand you to say, madam?
You BET!
Then she cheered up, and faced around and said:
Danged if I didnt begin to think you fellers was deef and dumb. I did, bgosh. Here Ive sot, and sot, and sot, a-bustn muskeeters and wonderin what was ailin ye. Fust I thot you was deef and dumb, then I thot you was sick or crazy, or suthin, and then by and by I begin to reckon you was a passel of sickly fools that couldnt think of nothing to say. Wherd ye come from?
The Sphynx was a Sphynx no more! The fountains of her great deep were broken up, and she rained the nine parts of speech forty days and forty nights, metaphorically speaking, and buried us under a desolating deluge of trivial gossip that left not a crag or pinnacle of rejoinder projecting above the tossing waste of dislocated grammar and decomposed pronunciation!
How we suffered, suffered, suffered! She went on, hour after hour, till I was sorry I ever opened the mosquito question and gave her a start. She never did stop again until she got to her journeys end toward daylight; and then she stirred us up as she was leaving the stage (for we were nodding, by that time), and said:
Now you git out at Cottonwood, you fellers, and lay over a couple o days, and Ill be along some time to-night, and if I can do ye any good by edgin in a word now and then, Im right thar. Folksll tell yout Ive always ben kind o offish and particlar for a gal thats raised in the woods, and I am, with the rag-tag and bob-tail, and a gal has to be, if she wants to be anything, but when people comes along which is my equals, I reckon Im a pretty sociable heifer after all.
We resolved not to lay by at Cottonwood.
CHAPTER III
About an hour and a half before daylight we were bowling along smoothly over the road so smoothly that our cradle only rocked in a gentle, lulling way, that was gradually soothing us to sleep, and dulling our consciousness when something gave away under us! We were dimly aware of it, but indifferent to it. The coach stopped. We heard the driver and conductor talking together outside, and rummaging for a lantern, and swearing because they could not find it but we had no interest in whatever had happened, and it only added to our comfort to think of those people out there at work in the murky night, and we snug in our nest with the curtains drawn. But presently, by the sounds, there seemed to be an examination going on, and then the drivers voice said:
By George, the thoroughbrace is broke!
This startled me broad awake as an undefined sense of calamity is always apt to do. I said to myself: Now, a thoroughbrace is probably part of a horse; and doubtless a vital part, too, from the dismay in the drivers voice. Leg, maybe and yet how could he break his leg waltzing along such a road as this? No, it cant be his leg. That is impossible, unless he was reaching for the driver. Now, what can be the thoroughbrace of a horse, I wonder? Well, whatever comes, I shall not air my ignorance in this crowd, anyway.
Just then the conductors face appeared at a lifted curtain, and his lantern glared in on us and our wall of mail matter. He said: Gents, youll have to turn out a spell. Thoroughbrace is broke.
We climbed out into a chill drizzle, and felt ever so homeless and dreary. When I found that the thing they called a thoroughbrace was the massive combination of belts and springs which the coach rocks itself in, I said to the driver:
I never saw a thoroughbrace used up like that, before, that I can remember. How did it happen?
Why, it happened by trying to make one coach carry three days mail thats how it happened, said he. And right here is the very direction which is wrote on all the newspaper-bags which was to be put out for the Injuns for to keep em quiet. Its most uncommon lucky, becuz its so nation dark I should a gone by unbeknowns if that air thoroughbrace hadnt broke.