HITCH
The general deaths toll Harry? And how do you propose we do that?
HAROLD HOFFMAN
Well, many funeral homes are now closed. Theyve collapsed. This fucking healthy way of life has left them without work. That leaves us room to become the leading business in this industry.
(beat)
Well? Are you with me?
HITCH
Courageous idea. But whether it will turn out or not
HAROLD HOFFMAN
Only the courageous take the main prize. Or do you want to stretch out your pathetic beggarly existence further? Huh? Trust me. Just trust me and you will live in own houses, buy fresh meat, and not have to cut off pieces of corpses from hunger. And youll have real women the live and mobile kind.
HITCH
(nodding)
You are right. Well, Im in.
HAROLD HOFFMAN
How about you Hazone?
HAZONE
Im in. and Silly too.
HAROLD HOFFMAN
Great.
Hitch quickens.
HITCH
When do we get started?
HAROLD HOFFMAN
As soon as we come up with the money today.
Suddenly, the boys hear knocking on the car roof.
HAROLD HOFFMAN
(hysterically)
Shit! This bitch on the roof is knocking! Hazone!
HAZONE
What?
HAROLD HOFFMAN
You fancy this lady in the coffin?
Hazone lewdly licks his lips.
HAZONE
Yes. Very much. Shes as beautiful as plastic flowers.
Hoffman nervously finishes smoking his cigarette and throws the stub out the window.
HAROLD HOFFMAN
Well, then lets go back to the office. To hell with her! Let Hazone have a good time with her. This home delivery isnt doing it for me. Our new stage in life begins now and we should waste our time on trifles.
Hoffman switches car gears and takes off abruptly.
EXT. MALL OF AMERICA DAY
With a microphone in one hand stands a TV reporter JULIA SHWEETNER (25), a blue-eyed girl with curly dirty blonde hair, dressed in an expensive grey coat and a fashionable green scarf wrapped around her neck.
JULIA SHWEETNER
How do I look Bobby?
In front of her, BOBBY (27) the camera operator, an unshaven guy in a red jacket stands with the camera on and strap around his shoulder.
BOBBY
Smile. Exude happiness. Be positive.
Julia smiles.
JULIA SHWEETNER
I dont pretend to be happy Bobby, I am happy.
Julia smiles timidly and her eyes sparkle. She looks to her watch.
JULIA SHWEETNER
Okay, lets get this show on the road. Out the text up.
Bobby lifts a sheet of paper for her to read off of, and holds it near the camera.
JULIA SHWEETNER
The new MALL OF AMERICA will be opening tonight; and it will be noted as the architectural decision of the decade. The lights, and streaming water fixtures are very beautiful and unusual to the typically mundane environment of our city this hi-tech shopping centre certainly brings a work of art to our landscape. All profits earned from the first couple of days within the malls opening will go to charities for sick children.
Bobby gives her a thumbs-up.
JULIA SHWEETNER
As organizers speak, there will be no problems with parking at the opening, and many have been signed on to VIP-parking. Mall attractions include the Big wheel and a Falling Tower. An attraction called The Web stealing a brain, amongst others. There will also be a 5D cinema and skating rink.
Julia lowers her microphone.
BOBBY
Looks good Julia!
Bobby lowers the camera.
JULIA SHWEETNER
Was it really?
BOBBY
Perfect.
Julia smiles.
JULIA SHWEETNER
Dont flatter me. I want honesty, Im still new to this you know.
BOBBY
I told you its perfect. We needed to edit the opening though.
JULIA SHWEETNER
How long till the final product?
BOBBY
(looks to his watch)
About two hours.
JULIA SHWEETNER
Lets grab a coffee then.
BOBBY
Sounds good. I could use something hot myself.
Julias cell phone rings. She flips it open and sees the name Christian and smiles. She answers the call.
JULIA SHWETNER
Yes, darling?
INT. INSURANCE COMPANY OFFICE DAY
CHRISTIAN (27) sits at a big black table a strong, attractive type in a blue shirt and with a tie. He holds his cell in one hand, and types on his laptop with the other.
CHRISTIAN
Julia? Greetings darling.
(smiling)
I do disturbing you?
JULIA SHWEETNER (O.S)
No, I just finished my set.
CHRISTIAN
Ive missed you, and your voice. Are you at work?
JULIA SHWEETNER (O.S)
Were reporting on the Mall of America now, and I have a class tonight that will probably go till late. Im so sorry.
CHRISTIAN
Call me when youre done, I would love to pick you up. My beautiful lady shouldnt have to travel home alone at night.
Christian takes a swig of his juice sitting on the table.
JULIA SHWEETNER (O.S)
Oh, Christian, youre amazing. What would I do without you?
CHRISTIAN
You know, our anniversary of when we first met is coming up January 14th. Theres a great little Italian place Id love to take you to; romantic music, good food.
JULIA SHWEETNER (O.S)
Oh, Christian! Of course I would love to go!
CHRISTIAN
Perfect. See you soon.
JULIA SHWEETNER (O.S)
Kisses.
CHRISTIAN
You too! Bye.
JULIA SHWEETNER (O.S)
Bye-bye.
EXT. MALL OF AMERICA DAY
Julia hangs up and put her hair up.
BOBBY
Well, looks like he calls you everyday.
Julia looks to him with confusion.
JULIA SHWEETNER
Its love Bobby.
BOBBY
If I were the boss of an insurance company, you would fall in love with me?
JULIA SHWEETNER
(laughing)
Bobby, youll always come first. Youre my best friend. Now lets grab that coffee.
BOBBY
Ok.
Bobby collects their things and walks into the mall with Julia.
INT. MALL OF AMERICA DAY
As they walk through the mall together
JULIA SHWEETNER
These attractions are incredible, and so well planned out. Just about anybody can come here, couples, children. Its really made for everyone.
BOBBY
You and Christian would have a great time here! You could spend a whole day here from dusk to dawn.
JULIA SHWEETNER
And while that would be fun, we also dont need that many distractions. The main thing about him is that hes a good man and we can enjoy each other just about anywhere.
BOBBY
Thats true