His lips drew back in a snarl over teeth clenched tight, his fangs long and sharp. You. Put. Me. Through. Hell.
She lifted her chin, meeting that fiery gaze, giving rein to the anger that was building inside her, knowing that the best thing she could do for both of them was to feed his own.
Join the club! She met him nose to nose, glower for glower. I wasnt the one who insisted we mate despite both our peoples being dead set against it. I wasnt the one who insisted we were fated for one another! She punched the rock-hard plane of his abdomen with her bound hands. I wasnt the one who pushed and pushed . . .
He snarled. You think this was all my fault? You blame me?
I blame us both! Ninety-six Ilinas died because I let you talk me into a mating that should have never been. It was both of our faults. She punched him again. If youd left me alone, my maidens would be alive. The Mage would never have turned on us. I wouldnt have lost ninety-six of my friends, my sisters, then spent nearly three hundred years tending the remaining forty-four, most of whom were barely alive. My world was destroyed!
She slugged him again. I put you through hell? I used to dream I could change the past, dream that Id turned and walked away instead of letting you kiss me that first time. For a thousand years, Ive rued the day we met!
She was as angry as he was, her chest heaving, her eyes burning with righteous fire and unshed tears. Somewhere in her diatribe hed retracted his claws, and he grabbed her shoulders hard, his eyes once more pale, sparking with fury, and something more. A passion of a different kind.
You havent rued that day half as much as I have. But the tone of his voice had changed, turning husky. He curved his hand around the back of her neck, pulled her to him and crushed her mouth beneath his in a kiss filled with anger and frustration, and hot, searing need. He didnt want to be kissing her, she was more than sure of that.
Ariana struggled against his hold, trying to escape the kiss that was already sending drugging warmth flowing into her blood. The kiss changed from one of possession to one of passion in an instant, and she was lost.
She gave herself up to the kiss, reveling in the power of the man and the need that sparked like an electric wire in a raging storm. So much lay between them. So much grief, so much pain. But, goddess, shed missed him. Missed his demanding, yet gentle touch, his warm, masculine scent, and the feel of his hard body moving against hers.
Passion exploded. Pleasure engulfed her, flowing through her like warm honey as their lips parted, and his tongue swept into her mouth. Unlike the kiss hed forced on her in her home, this one contained no true hatred, only an anger that was already washing away in the passion. His mouth gentled, his hands gripping with a growing hunger as sharp as her own.
In her blood, the passion dissolved in a sweet rush, shifting into an essence more important to an Ilina than food. Normal pleasure strengthened. A tasty dinner, a beautiful ballet, even a little quality time with her vibrator. But what she felt in Kougars arms transformed. Shed forgotten. A moan trembled in her chest. Dear goddess, shed forgotten.
For so long shed needed a man. This man. Though shed taken a few lovers over the centuries, Kougar was the only one shed wanted.
His mouth left hers, dipping to her neck, and she tipped her head back, absorbing the exquisite feel of his mouth on her body. She needed to touch him, to slide her fingers into his hair and hold him as he held her, but her bound hands were pinned between their bodies.
Unbind me, Kougar. I need to touch you.
He ignored her, kissing her neck, his hands sliding to her waist, to the fastening of her jeans. Her pulse vaulted. He shoved her jeans and panties down over her hips in a single tug, then thrust his hand between her legs, entering her with a single, quaking, seeking finger.
Her body melted. Kougar. More. I need you inside me.
She wasnt sure what happened, only that the moment the words left her mouth, he pulled away. His finger left her, his expression turning back into a hard, brittle mask. Without a word, with a coldness she didnt entirely understand, he turned and walked to the window, where the morning sunlight poured into the room, gleaming on the chair wreckage that littered the floor.
He spoke, his back to her, his words flat and devoid of the anger of a moment ago, and all the more cutting because of it. When we kill that damned Mage, and Im free of this poison, Im out of your life, Ariana. And I want you out of mine.
Done. And she meant it. She meant it.
Goddess, had she blamed him all this time without consciously realizing it? Had she been punishing them both by staying away from him? Even if it wasnt the only reason, she couldnt deny it had undoubtedly played a part in staying her hand all those times shed thought of seeking him out.
She took a deep breath and let it out on a ragged sigh. There was no going back, only forward. What was done, was done. All they could do now was try to find Hookeye before he attacked again. As if Melisande hadnt been trying for hundreds of years. Hopelessness pressed on her as she stared at Kougars rigid back. He was going to die. The poison would take him, just as it had taken so many shed loved. And when it did, now that the mating bond was well and truly attached, she was going to suffer.
Even if she hated her mate, the bonds rupture would damage her.
And she didnt hate Kougar.
But neither did she love him as she once had, with that certainty, that wholehearted exuberance. What shed once felt for him had long ago become twisted with dark layers of grief and horror and anger. Instinctively, she knew the best thing was for her to keep it that way.
Then maybe, when Kougar died, she wouldnt feel like shed died, too.
CHAPTER 7
Kougar gripped the window frame until he heard the wood creak beneath his fingers. He was losing it, the emotions that had been all but dead for a millennium turning into a wild storm inside him as he struggled for control. He wanted to shake Ariana until her teeth rattled for severing the mating bond and walking away from him. He longed to yell at her until his throat was hoarse. And he yearned to make love to her. Goddess, he needed to make love to her.
And that would be a monumental mistake.
Already, his body was a living inferno from just a kiss and the quick slide of his finger inside her. He hadnt meant to touch her like that. He hadnt meant to touch her at all, but he was losing control. All he could think of was tearing off Arianas clothes and making love to her until neither of them could think . . . or stand.
And he didnt want that!
From the moment he saw her again, hed needed to be inside her. From the moment hed ushered her into his bedroom, even through his rage, hed shaken with the need to toss her onto the bed and follow her down.
Goddess, all he wanted was her out of his life again!
Yet deep inside him, his cat clawed to reach her, to claim her. Not as he wanted to, with his cock deep inside her, but as his mate. Their mate.
No. Not again. They might not be able to sever the bond again, but that didnt mean he had to care what happened to her. He didnt have to love her. Hed done that once, and it had damn near killed him.
He refused to fall for her again.
But his body burned, hot and throbbing, desperate to be inside her. It wasnt going to happen. He wasnt having sex with her. He refused to lose control like that with her again. But his body burned.
Turning, he found her watching him, her jeans once more up around her hips, though not zipped. Those too-blue eyes watched him, the fire hed set in them banked but not out. Not nearly out.
Goddess.
He walked to his desk and dug through the wreckage until he found his scissors, then crossed to her and removed the tape binding her hands none too gently.
She rubbed her wrists, her eyes sharp with annoyance.
He was a fool. A fucking weak fool.
Take off your clothes. The words came out of his mouth, little more than a growl, and he knew he was lost.
Now, why are you mad? Anger flared in her eyes even as she pulled off her T-shirt and tossed it on the chest at the foot of the bed.
Because I dont want you. Because I refuse to fall back into that soul-sucking trap of needing to be inside you every moment of every day.
He closed the distance between them and once more yanked her jeans down over her hips, taking her panties with them.
She stared at him, her face a mask of heat and confusion. Then what are you doing?
Losing control.
Her Ilina mating scentthat lush, intoxicating fragrance Ilinas used, at one time, to lure males into their sensual trapsbegan to spin its magic, lighting fires in every part of his body. If he hadnt been hard as a rock already, he would be now, though he doubted she released the fragrance intentionally. Ariana had always lost control of hers at some point in their lovemaking. Usually, the moment he started to undress her.
He shoved his hand between her legs. She moaned and ripped open his shirt, sending the buttons flying. He drew his claws and reached for her bra, but she grabbed his wrist before he could slice through it.
Bras cost money. She removed the filmy lace, exposing her fully to his gaze once more.
As he reached for the soft mounds of her breasts, her hands went to his belt; but he grabbed her wrists, stopping her.
No. Instead, he picked her up, intending to toss her onto the bed.
But Ariana had never been a woman to give in meekly. She kicked out of his hold to curl her bare legs around his waist, flinging her arms around his neck, leaping onto him like a wildcat on the attack. An erotic, sensual attack. His arms pulled her closer as she fused her mouth with his, devouring his. Pebbled breasts teased his skin, slender fingers raked into his hair, cutting him with memories.
Shed always slept without clothing in those days, and hed loved to surprise her in bed. She always seemed to sense him coming, and shed greeted him just like this, flying into his arms, curling herself around him like a wild cat claiming her mate.
Memories flayed him of those idyllic days even as anger burned inside him at Ariana, the Mage, the fates, for stealing them away.
As he cupped her buttocks, digging his fingers into the soft flesh, desire flamed higher.
Her mouth moved to his jaw, to his neck. Let it go, Kougar. Let the anger go and feel the pleasure. Just feel. Just this once.
She rubbed the tight nubs of her nipples against his bare chest, and he was lost. Naked and warm in his arms, she was living, lily-of-the-valley-scented fire, and he wanted her with a need that stripped him of all control.
Holding her with one hand, he slid the other between her legs, finding again the source of her heat. Goddess, but she was hot and wet, ready for him as shed always been. The sex had been the best part of those two years.
Conflicting emotions crashed inside the walls of his chest. He wanted to hurt her as shed hurt him, until she cried out with the pain of it. And his arms shook with the need to free himself and shove his cock inside her until they both screamed with pleasure.
But he wasnt completely out of control. Not yet.
Pulling her off him, he tossed her onto the middle of the bed, shaking with the need to follow her down.
Ariana stared up at Kougar as he stood beside the bed. His emotions pulsed down the mating bond, pounding at her even when he wasnt touching her. Her breaths were shallow, her body on fire from the feel of his hands and his gaze, and the sheer magnitude of her own desire for this man.
She wanted him, needed him, in so many ways. But the tight line of his body and the rigid set of his jaw made it all too clear he didnt want to give in. Though seduction was as innate to any Ilina as breathing, she wouldnt employ such tactics. If he came to her, it would be through his own free will, not her machinations.
Theyd already hurt one another in too many ways.
So she waited for him to make the decision, watching the battle in his eyes. The small flare of frustrated anger told her it was over.
Shed won.
He pulled off his ripped shirt, revealing the beautifully sculpted, lightly furred chest shed loved so well. Claw marks tore across his abdomenred welts that looked new though hed had them since the day he was first marked to be a Feral Warrior well over a thousand years ago. Watching her with predatory eyes, he climbed onto the bed, moving between her parted legs like a cat on the prowl. His eyes were steel, his powerful shifters body as dangerous as it was beautiful as he bent over her and lowered his face to her breast, watching her the entire way down.
He claimed her breast without gentleness, his passion barely controlled, sucking the fullness into his mouth on a hard, desperate tug that sent pleasure arcing through her body and down into her core. As if he felt her need, his fingers reached between her legs, stroking her damp, swollen flesh before two dove inside, claiming her with sure, hard strokes.
Another hard surge of anger hit her through the mating bond, puncturing the intense pleasure, telling her he hated his own weakness in needing to touch her. This wasnt the way it used to be between them. This wasnt the way it was ever supposed to be, but shed ended all chance for anything more when her world had come crashing down around her, and shed left him thinking her dead.
The pleasure, though intense, was hollow. Still, she needed the strength it would give her to battle back the darkness that attacked her from within.
His bearded mouth left one breast damp and throbbing, to claim the other. Her fingers caressed his short hair as she thrust her hips against his hand, forcing his fingers deeper and deeper inside her.
How could so much pleasure leave her feeling so empty?
He released her breast, pulling his fingers from her, only to replace them with his mouth. His tongue delved into her inner depths, drawing a moan from her throat. His hands slid beneath her hips, lifting her, splaying her wide as he devoured her, his tongue moving out of her to circle the tight knot of nerve endings.