In a strange way, Ronnie reminded him of Megan. She was an oddball, a freethinker, and stubbornly independent, too. On the surface, she was unlike anyone he could ever imagine finding attractive, but her dad was great, her brother was a hoot, and she was just about as smart and caring as anyone hed ever met. Who else would camp out all night to protect a turtle nest? Who else would stop a fight to help a little kid? Who else read Tolstoy in her spare time?
And who else, at least in this town, would fall for Will before knowing anything about his family?
That, he had to admit, was important to him, too, as much as he wished it werent. He loved his dad and his family name, and he was proud of the business his dad had built. He appreciated the advantages that his life had brought him, but he wanted to be his own person, too. He wanted people to know him first as Will, not Will Blakelee, and there wasnt another person in the world he could talk to about it, other than his sister. It wasnt as if he lived in Los Angeles, where celebrity kids could be found in every school, or was at a place like Andover, where practically everyone knew someone who came from a famous family. It wasnt so easy in a place like this, where everyone knew everybody, and as hed grown older, hed grown somewhat cautious about his friendships. He was willing to talk to almost anyone, but hed learned to put up an invisible wall, at least until he was certain his family had nothing to do with the new acquaintance or was the reason a girl seemed to be interested in him. And if he hadnt known for certain that Ronnie knew nothing about his family, hed been convinced when hed pulled up in front of his house.
What are you thinking about? he heard her ask. A light breeze rippled through her hair, and she tried in vain to collect the strands into a loose ponytail. Youve been kind of quiet.
I was thinking about how much I enjoyed coming over.
To our little house? Its a bit different from what youre used to.
Your house is great, he insisted. And so is your dad and Jonah. Even though he crushed me in liars poker.
He always wins, but dont ask me how. I mean, ever since he was little. I think he cheats, but I havent figured out how.
Maybe you just need to lie better.
Oh, you mean like you telling me you work for your dad?
I do work for my dad, Will said.
You know what I mean.
Like I told you, I didnt think it mattered. He stopped walking and turned to her. Does it?
She seemed to choose her words carefully. Its interesting and it helps explain a few things about you, but if I told you that my mom worked as a paralegal at a Wall Street law firm, would you feel any different about me?
This, he knew, he could answer with complete honesty. No. But its different.
Why? she asked. Because your family is rich? A statement like that only makes sense to someone who thinks that money is all that matters.
I didnt say that.
Well, what did you mean? she challenged, then shook her head. Look, lets get one thing straight. I dont care if your dad is the sultan of Brunei. You happened to be born into a privileged family. What you do with that truth is completely up to you. Im here because I want to be with you. But if I didnt, all the money in the world wouldnt have changed my feelings about you.
As she spoke, he watched her growing more animated. Why do I get the feeling youve given that speech before?
Because I have said it before. She stopped walking and turned to face him. Come to New York, and youll understand why Ive learned to say what I mean. In some clubs, all you meet are snobs, and theyre so into who their family is or how much their family makes it bores me. I stand there, and all I want to say is, Its great that others in your family have done something, but what have you done? But I dont, because they dont get it. They think theyre the chosen ones. Its not even worth getting mad about, because the whole idea is so ridiculous. But if you think I invited you over because of who your family is
I didnt, he said, cutting her off. I never thought that for a second.
In the darkness, he knew she was considering whether he was telling the truth or simply saying what she wanted to hear. Hoping to put an end to the discussion, he turned and motioned behind them, toward the workshop near the house.
Whats that place? he asked.
She didnt answer right away, and he sensed she was still trying to decide whether she believed him.
It came with the house, she said at last. My dad and Jonah are making a stained-glass window this summer.
Your dad makes stained-glass windows?
He does now.
Is that what hes always done?
No, she answered. Like he told you at dinner, he used to teach piano. She paused to brush something from her feet, then changed the subject. Whats next for you? Are you going to keep working for your dad?
He swallowed, resisting the temptation to kiss her again. I will until the end of August. Im going to Vanderbilt in the fall.
From one of the houses up the beach drifted the faint strains of music; squinting into the distance, Will could see a group congregated on the back deck. The song was something from the eighties, though he couldnt pinpoint it.
That should be fun.
I guess.
You dont sound very excited.
Will took her hand and they began to stroll again. Its a great school, and the campus is beautiful, he recited a little awkwardly.
She studied him. But you dont want to go there?
Ronnie seemed to intuit his every feeling and thought, which was both disconcerting and a source of relief. At least he could tell her the truth.
I wanted to go somewhere else, and I got accepted at a school that has this incredible environmental science program, but my mom really wanted me to go to Vanderbilt. He could feel the sand sliding between his toes as he walked.
Do you always do what your mom wants?
You dont understand, he said, shaking his head. Its a family tradition. My grandparents went there, my parents went there, my sister went there. My mom is on the board of trustees, and she
He struggled to find the right words. Beside him, he could sense Ronnie watching him, but he couldnt meet her gaze.
I know that she can be kind of distant when people meet her for the first time. But once you get to know her, shes the truest person in the world. She would do anythingI mean anythingfor me. But the last few years have been really hard for her.
He stopped to pick out a seashell from the sand. After examining it, he sent it arcing toward the waves. Do you remember when you asked about the bracelet?
Ronnie nodded, waiting for him to go on.
My sister and I wear the bracelets in honor of our little brother. His name was Mike, and he was a great little guy the kind of kid who was happiest when he was with other people. He had this real infectious laugh, and you couldnt help but laugh along with him when something funny happened. He paused, looking over the water. Anyway, four years ago, Scott and I had a basketball game and it was my moms turn to drive, so like always, Mike came along with us. It had been raining all day, and a lot of the roads were slick. I should have been paying more attention, but Scott and I started playing mercy in the backseat. You know that game? Where you try to bend each others wrists in the wrong direction until one of you gives in?
He hesitated, trying to summon his strength for the rest of what he had to say.
We were really trying to get each otherwiggling and kicking the back of the seatand my mom kept telling us to stop, but we ignored her. In the end, I got Scott just where I wanted and I really gave it my all and I made him scream. My mom turned around to see what happened, and that was all it took. She lost control of the car. And He swallowed, feeling the words choke him. Anyway, Mike didnt make it. Hell, without Scott, my mom and I probably wouldnt have made it either. We went through the guardrail and into the water. The thing is, Scotts an amazing swimmer, grew up at the beach and all thatand he managed to pull the three of us out, even though he was only twelve at the time. But Mikey Will pinched the bridge of his nose. Mikey died on impact. He hadnt even finished his first year of kindergarten.
Ronnie reached for his hand. Im so sorry.
Me, too. He blinked back the tears that still came when he thought of that day.
You know it was an accident, right?
Yeah, I know. And my mom does, too. But even so, she blames herself for losing control of the car, just like I know theres a part of her that blames me, too. He shook his head.
Anyway, after that, shes always felt the need to control things. Including me. I know shes just trying to keep me safe, to keep bad things from happening, and I think part of me believes that, too. I mean, look what happened. My mom just completely lost it at the funeral, and I hated myself for doing that to her. I felt responsible. And I promised myself I would try to somehow make it up to her. Even though I knew that I couldnt.
As he spoke, he began to twist the macramé bracelet.
What do the letters mean? IMTF?
In my thoughts forever. It was my sisters idea, as a way to remember him. She told me about it right after the funeral, but I barely heard her. I mean, it was just so awful to be in the church that day. With my mom screaming and my little brother in the casket, and my dad and sister crying I swore that Id never go to another funeral.
For once, Ronnie seemed at a loss for words. Will straightened up, knowing it was a lot to take in and wondering why hed even told her. Im sorry. I shouldnt have told you all that.
Its okay, she said quickly, squeezing his hand. Im glad you did.
Its not the perfect life you probably imagined, is it.
I never assumed your life was perfect.
He said nothing, and Ronnie impulsively leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. I wish you didnt have to go through all that.
He drew a long breath and resumed walking down the beach. Anyway, it was important to my mom that I go to Vanderbilt. So thats where Im going.
Im sure youll have fun. Ive heard its a great school.
He laced his fingers through hers, thinking how soft they felt next to his callused skin.
Now its your turn. What dont I know about you?
Theres nothing like what you just told me, she said, shaking her head. It doesnt even compare.
It doesnt have to be important. It just has to explain who you are.
She glanced back at the house. Well I didnt talk to my dad for three years. Actually, I started talking to him only a couple of days ago. After he and my mom separated, I was angry with him. I honestly never wanted to see him again, and the last thing I wanted was to spend the summer down here.
How about now? He noticed the moonlight shining in her eyes. Are you glad you came?
Maybe, she answered.
He laughed and gave her a playful nudge. What were you like when you were a kid?
Boring, she said. All I did was play the piano.
Id like to hear you play.
I dont play anymore, she said quickly, a stubborn edge to her voice.
Ever?
She shook her head, and though he knew there was more, she clearly didnt want to talk about it. Instead, he listened as she went on to describe her friends in New York and how she usually spent her weekends, smiling at her stories about Jonah. It felt so natural to spend time with her, so easy and true. Hed told her things hed never discussed even with Ashley. He supposed he wanted her to know the real him, and somehow he trusted shed know how to respond.
She wasnt like anyone hed met before. He was sure he wanted never to let go of her hand; their fingers seemed to fit together in just the right wayeffortlessly clasped, like perfect complements.
Aside from the house that was hosting the party, they were completely alone. The strains of music were soft and distant, and when he looked up, he caught the brief flash of a shooting star passing overhead. When he turned to Ronnie, he knew by her expression that shed seen it as well.
What did you wish for? she asked, her voice a whisper. But he couldnt answer. Instead, he raised her hand and slipped his other arm around her back. He stared at her, knowing with certainty that he was falling in love. He pulled her close and kissed her beneath a blanket of stars, wondering how on earth hed been lucky enough to find her.
21Ronnie
Okay, she admitted that she could get used to living like this: lounging on the diving board in the backyard pool, an ice cold glass of sweet tea by her side, a fruit tray in the cabana, which had been served by the chef, along with real silverware and a fancy mint garnish.
Still, she couldnt imagine what it must have been like for Will to grow up in a world like this. Then again, since hed never known anything different, he probably didnt notice it anymore. As she sunned herself on the diving board, she took in the sight of him standing on the roof of the cabana, getting ready to jump. Hed climbed it like a gymnast, and even from a distance, she could see the muscles flexing in his arms and stomach.
Hey, he shouted. Watch me do a flip.
A flip? Thats it? You climb all the way up there and youre only going to do one flip?
Whats wrong with doing a flip? he demanded.
Im just saying that anyone can do one flip, she taunted. Even I could do one flip.
Id like to see that. He sounded skeptical.