I backed as far into a corner as I could manage. There didnt seem to be any visible exit to this small limestone chamber. Why am I not in a hospital?
I healed you, he replied blandly, as if we were discussing tea.
Numb with fear, I checked my pulse. God, he hadnt turned me, had he? No, my heart pounded strongly.
How?
Blood, of course. How else?
He leaned back on his elbows, eyeing me with impatience and weariness. He had changed into a new shirt, from what I could see. I didnt even want to know what was under the sheet.
Tell me what you did to me!
With a roll of his eyes at my hysteria, he fluffed his pillow and then hugged it to him. It was such a human gesture, it was uncanny. Who knew vampires cared if their pillows were fluffed?
Gave you a few drops of my blood. Figured you wouldnt need much, what with your being a half-breed. You probably heal fast naturally, but then you were banged up a bit. Your own fault, of course, having suggested that stupid match. Now, if you dont mind, its daylight and Im knackered. Didnt even get a meal out of all this.
Vampire blood heals?
He shut his eyes as he answered me. You mean you didnt know? Blimey, but youre ignorant about your own kind.
Your kind is not my kind.
He didnt even flinch. Whatever you say, Kitten.
Would too much blood turn me? How much is too much?
That got an eye opened balefully at me. Look, schools out now, luv. Im going to sleep. Youre going to shut up. Later, when Im awake, well go over all of these niceties while I prepare you for our arrangement. Until then, let a fellow get some rest.
Show me the way out and you can sleep all you want. Again I looked around for an exit, finding nothing.
He snorted in derision. Sure thing. Hows about I fetch your weapons for you as well, then Ill just close my eyes while you plug holes into my heart? Not bloody likely. Youre in until I let you out. Dont bother trying to escape, youd never make it. Now I suggest you get some rest, because if you keep me awake much longer, Im going to want breakfast. Understand? He closed his eyes again with finality.
Im not sleeping with you. Indignation filled my tone.
There was a brief tussling on the bed, and then a sheet hit me in the face.
Sleep on the floor, then. Youre a cover hog anyhow.
Left with no other alternative, I lay down on the cold stone ground. The sheet didnt do much to keep out the chill, let alone provide any padding. I maneuvered around, hopelessly trying to find a softer spot before giving up and cradling my head on my arms. At least this was better than being in bed with that thing. Id sooner sleep on nails. The silence of the room was somehow soothing. One thing was for certain, vampires didnt snore. After a while, I drifted off.
It could have been hours, it seemed like minutes. A hand none too gently shook my shoulders and that dreaded voice sounded in my ears.
Rise and shine. We have work to do.
My bones gave an audible creak of misery when I stood and stretched. He grinned at the sound.
Serves you right for trying to kill me. Last bloke who did that ended up with much more than a stiff neck. Youre right lucky youre useful, or youd be nothing more than a flush in my cheeks by now.
Yeah, thats me. Lucky. I felt bitter instead, trapped in a cave with a homicidal vampire.
He wagged a finger at me. Dont be glum. Youre about to get a first-class education in nosferatu. Believe me, not many humans get to learn this stuff. But then again, youre not really human.
Stop saying that. Im more human than I amthing.
Yes, well, well find out just how much shortly. Move away from the wall.
I complied, not having much choice in this small room and not wanting to be close to him. He stood in front of the stone wall where Id been sleeping and grasped either side of the rock. With ease, he lifted the slab completely off the ground and set it to the side, exposing a crevice big enough to walk through. So that was how we entered this tomb.
Come along, he threw over his shoulder, stepping through it. Dont dawdle.
As I squeezed through the narrow opening, a sudden twist of my bladder reminded me that I was still very much dependent on my organs.
Umer, I dont suppose To hell with the niceties. Is there a bathroom in here? One of us still has functioning kidneys.
He stopped short, arching an eyebrow at me. There were thin streams of light coming from the limestone ceiling, making crisscrossed patterns of illumination throughout the cave. Daytime, then.
Do you think this is a bloomin hotel? What, next youll be wanting a bidet?
With infuriated embarrassment, I ground out, Unless you like it messy, I suggest you show me an alternative, and fast.
A noise that sounded very much like a sigh came from him. Follow me. Dont trip or twist anything, damned if Ill carry you. Lets see what we can come up with. Sodding woman.
As I clambered after him, I comforted myself with mental images of him writhing helplessly under my stake. The visual was so clear, I almost smiled as he led me toward the sounds of water.
There. He pointed to a cluster of rocks that appeared to hang over a small inner stream. That water runs downstream. You can climb on those rocks and do your business.
I hurried over, and he called out with an edge to his tone, By the way, if youre thinking youll just jump off and swim out of here, its a bad idea. That waters about forty degrees and snakes over two miles before it exits these caves. Youd be suffering from hypothermia long before then. Not a nice way to be, shivering and lost in the dark, delusions setting in. Besides, youd have broken our agreement. Id find you. And I would be really, really displeased.
The grim note in his voice made the words sound more lethal than the cocking of a gun. Despair pricked me. I had been thinking of doing that.
See you in a bit. He turned around and walked a short ways away, his back to me. Sighing, I climbed up the rocks and balanced while answering natures untimely call.
I suppose toilet papers out of the question? I called out flippantly.
There was a bark of laughter in reply. Ill put it on my shopping list, Kitten.
Stop calling me Kitten. My name is Cat. Finished, I lowered myself down until I again stood on somewhat solid ground. Whats yours, by the way? You never told me. If were going to beworking together, at least I should know what to call you. Unless you simply prefer answering to profanity, of course.
There was that sly curl to his lips again when he faced me. His feet were planted apart and his hips tilted slightly forward. Pale hair hugged his head in tight waves. Under the pinholes of light around him, his skin positively glowed.
My name is Bones.
First things first, luv. If youre going to be truly good at killing vampires, you need to know more about them.
We sat on boulders facing each other. The dim light in the cave from the shafts of sun had a vague strobe effect. It had to be by far the strangest moment of my life, sitting across from a vampire calmly discussing the best ways to kill one.
Sunlight doesnt do anything but give us a bad sunburn. Our skin wont explode in flames like it does in the movies, and we wont turn into bits of crispy chicken. However, we do like to sleep in the day because we are most powerful at night. Thats an important point to remember. During the day we are slower, weaker, and less alert. Especially at dawn. By dawn, youll find most vampires tucked into whatever they call a bed, which as you could tell from last night doesnt necessarily mean a coffin. Oh, some of the old-fashioned ones will only sleep in coffins, but most of us sleep in whatevers most comfortable. In fact, some vamps will have coffins staged in their lair so some Van Helsing wannabe goes there first while the vampire sneaks up on them. Done that trick a time or two myself. So if you think throwing up the blinds and letting the sun stream in will do the trick, forget it.
Crosses. Unless theyre rigged up like yours, crosses dont do much more than make us laugh before we eat you. You seem to know that one yourself, so well move on. Wood, as you are also aware, might give us splinters and piss us off, but wont stop us from ripping your throat out. Holy waterwell, lets just say Ive had more damage done to me by someone throwing dirt in my face. The whole religious thing is bunk when it comes to hurting our kind, got it? Your only advantage is that when a vampire sees that special stake of yours, they wont be put off.
Arent you afraid Ill use this information against you? I interrupted. I mean, why should you trust me?
In all seriousness he leaned forward. I leaned back, not wanting to be any closer to him.
Look, pet. You and I are going to have to trust one another to accomplish our objectives. And Ill make this very, very simple: If you so much as look cross-eyed at me and I even wonder if youre thinking about betraying me, Ill kill you. Now, that might not scare you, being the big brave girl you are, but remember this: I followed you home the other night. Got anyone you care about in that barn of a house? Because if you do, then I suggest you make nice with me and do as youre told. If you cross me, youll live long enough to see that house burned to the ground with everyone still inside. So if you ever make a go for me, youd better be sure you finish me, understand?
Gulping, I nodded. I understood. Oh God, did I ever.
Besides-his voice brightened like a spring day-I can give you what you want.
Doubtful. What could you possibly know about what I want?
You want what every abandoned child wants. You want to find your father. But you dont want a happy reunion, no, not you. You want to kill him.
I stared at him. Hed spoken aloud what I hadnt even allowed my subconscious to whisper, and he was right. It was the other reason I hunted vampires, to kill the one who fathered me. More than anything, I wanted to do that for my mother. If I could, I would feel I had in some small way atoned for the circumstances of my birth.
You I could barely speak with all the thoughts flying through my mind. You can help me find him? How?
A shrug. For starters, I might know him. Know a great many undead types, I do. Face it-without me, youre looking for a needle in a fangstack. Even if I dont personally know him, I already know more about him than you do.
What? How? What?
He held up a hand to stop my babbling. Like his age, for example. Youre twenty-one, right?
Twenty-two, I whispered, still reeling. Last month.
Indeed? Then you have the wrong age as well as the wrong address on that fake license of yours.
He must have gone through my purse. Well, it made sense; hed also stripped me when I was unconscious. How do you know its a fake?
Didnt we just cover this? I know your real address, and its not the one on that license.
Oh crap. That defeated the purpose of why Id gotten the phony ID to begin with, in case I ever lost against a vampire and he rifled through my things. I hadnt wanted one to be able to track down my family. That had been the thought, anyway. Stupid me never expected a vampire to follow me home.
Come to think of it, pet, you are a liar, possessor of false identification, and a murderer.
Your point? I snapped.
Not to mention a tease, he continued as if I hadnt spoken. Foulmouthed, as well. Yep, you and I will get along famously.
Bollocks, I said succinctly.
He grinned back at me. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But back to the subject. You said your mum carried you for, what, four months? Five?
Five. Why? I was more than a little curious as to his reasoning. What did that have to do with how old, or how undead, my father was?
He leaned forward. See, its like this. When youre changed, it takes a few days for some of the human functions to cease completely. Oh, the heartbeat stops right off and the breathing as well, but some of the other things take longer. Tear ducts still work normally for the first day or so before you cry only pink due to the blood-to-water ratio in our bodies. You might even piss once or twice to get it out of your system. But the main point is that he still had swimmers in his sacks.
Excuse me?
You know, luv. Sperm, if you want to be all technical about it. He still had living sperm in his juice. Now, thats something which would only be possible if hed been newly changed. Within a week at most. Right off, then, you can pinpoint almost exactly how old he is, in vampire years. Add that to any recent deaths around that time and place matching his description, and bingo! Theres your dad.
I was stunned. Just as promised, in a few seconds hed given me more information than my mother had known all of my life. Maybe, just maybe, Id stumbled onto a gold mine. If through him I could learn more about my father and killing vampires, and all he wanted in return was to pick the targetswell, then, I could stomach it. If I lived long enough.
Why do you want to help me find my father? In fact, why do you kill other vampires? Theyre your own kind, after all.
Bones stared at me for a moment before replying. Ill help you find your father because I reckon you hate him more than you do me, so itll keep you motivated to do what I say. As for why I hunt vampiresyou dont need to bother about that now. You have more than enough to concern yourself with. Suffice it to say some people just need killing, and that goes for vampires as well as humans.
I still didnt know why he wanted me to work with him in the first place. Then again, maybe it was all a lie and he was biding his time, intending to rip my throat out when I least suspected it. I didnt trust this creature, not for a moment, but right now I had no choice but to play along. Find out where this led to. If I was still alive in a week, Id be amazed.