I sighed. "This morning she found a pile of my Wicca books, magick books, on the front porch. She stormed into my room, yelling at me, saying they were blasphemous." I sounded more together than I felt remembering that awful scene. "I thought she was being so hypocriticalI mean, if I'm a blood witch, then she and my dad would have to be, too. Right?"
"Pretty much," said Cal. "Definitely, with someone who has powers as strong as yours, both your parents would have to be."
I frowned. "What about only one parent?"
"An ordinary man and a female witch can't conceive a baby," Cal explained. "A male witch can get an ordinary woman pregnant, but it's a conscious thing. And their baby would have very weak powers at best, or possibly none at all. Not like you."
I felt like I had accomplished something: I was a powerful witch.
"Okay," Cal said. "Now, why were your books on the front porch? Were you hiding them?"
"Yes," I said bitterly. "At Bree's house. This morning she left them on my porch. Because you and I kissed last night."
"What?" Cal asked, a dark expression crossing his face.
I shrugged. "Bree really wanted you. Wants you. And when you kissed me last night, I know she felt that I had betrayed her." I swallowed and looked out the window."l did betray her," I said quietly. "I knew how she felt about you."
Cal's eyes dropped. He picked up a long strand of my hair and twined it around his hand, ower and over. "How do you feel about me?" he asked after a moment.
Last night he had told me he loved me. I looked at him, seeing past him to the thin November sunlight that was burning away the fog. I breathed deeply, trying to slow the sudden, rapid patter of my pulse. "I love you," I said. My voice came out a husky whisper.
Cal glanced up and caught my gaze. His eyes were very bright. "I love you, too. I'm sorry that Bree's hurt, but just because she has feelings for me doesn't mean we're going to be together."
Did that stop you from sleeping with her? I almost asked him, but I couldn't quite bring myself to. I wasn't sure I really wanted to know.
"And I'm sorry Bree is taking it out on you," he said. He paused. "So your mom found the books and yelled. You thought she was hiding being a witch herself, right?"
"Yes. Not just her but my father and my sister." I said. "But my parents went crazy when I said that. I've never seen them so upset. And I said, so, what? I'm adopted? And they just these horrible expressions on their faces. They wouldn't answer me. And suddenly I had to know. So I ran downstairs and looked at my birth certificate."
"And there was a different name."
"Yeah, Maeve Riordan."
Cal sat up straighten alert. "Really?"
I stared at him. "What? Do you recognize that name?"
"It sounds familiar." He looked out the window, thinking frowning, then shook his head. "No, maybe not. I can't place it."
"Oh." I swallowed my disappointment.
"What are you going to do now? Do you want to come to my house?" He smiled. "We could go swimming."
"No, thank you," I said, remembering when the circle had all gone skinny dipping in his pool. I was the only one who had kept her clothes on.
Cal laughed. "I was disappointed that night, you know," he said, looking at me.
"No, you weren't," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. He chuckled softly.
"Seriously, do you want to come over? Or do you want me to come to your house, help you talk to your parents?"
"Thanks," I said, touched by his offer. "But I think I should just go home by myself. With any luck, they all went to church, anyway. It's All Saints' Day."
"What's that?" Cal asked.
I remembered he wasn't Catholicwasn't even Christian. "All Saints' Day," I said. "It's the day after Halloween. It's a special day of observance for Catholics. That's when we go tend our family graves in cemeteries. Trim the grass, put out fresh flowers."
"Cool," said Cal. "That's a nice tradition. It's funny that it's the day after Samhain. But then, it seems like a lot of Christian holidays came out of Wiccan ones, way back when."
I nodded. "I know. But do me a favor and don't mention that to my parents," I said. "Anyway, I'd better get home."
"Okay. Can I call you later?"
"Yes," I said. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.
"I think I'll use the telephone," he said, grinning.
I thought of how he had come when I had said my rhyme. I was still amazed that it had worked.
He let himself out of Das Boot into the chilly, crisp November air. He walked to his car and took off as I waved.
My world was flooded with sunlight. Cal loved me.
CHAPTER 4Maeve
February 7, 1978
Two nights ago someone sprayed "Bloody Witch" on the side of Morag Sheehan's shop. We've moved our circle to meeting out by the cliffs, down the coast a ways.
Last night, late, Mathair and I went out to Morag's. Lucky it was a new moonno light and a good time for spells.
Rite of Healing, Protection from Evil, Cleansing
1. Cast a circle completely around what you want to protect. (I had to include old Burdock's sweetshop since the two buildings are joined.)
2. Purify the circle with salt. We used no lights or incense but salt, water, and earth.
3. Call on the Goddess. I wore my copper bracelets and held a chunk of sulfur, a chunk of marble from the garden, a chunk of petrified wood, and a bit of shell.
Then Ma and I said (quietly): "Goddess, hear us where we stand, with your protection bless this land, Morag is a servant true, protect her from those who mischief do." Then we invoked the Goddess and the God and walked around the shop three times.
No one saw us, that I could tell. Ma and I went home, felling strong. That should help protect Morag.
Bradhadair
I drove slowly up my street, looking ahead anxiously as if my parents might still be standing on the front lawn of our house. When I was close enough, I saw that Dad's car was gone. I figured that they must have gone to church.
Inside, the house was quiet and still, though I felt the shocked vibrations of this morning's events lingering In the air like a scent.
"Mom? Dad? Mary K.?"I called. No answer. I wandered slowly through the house, seeing breakfast untouched on the kitchen table. I turned off the coffeemaker. The newspaper was folded neatly, obviously unread. Not at all a normal Sunday morning.
Realizing this was my chance, I hurried to the office. But the torn birth certificate was gone, and my dad's files were locked for the first time that I could remember.
Moving quickly, listening for sounds of their return, I searched the rest of the office. I found nothing and sat back on my heels for a moment, thinking.
My parents' room. I ran upstairs to their cluttered room. Feeling like a thief, I opened the top drawer of their dresser. Jewelry, cuff links, pens, bookmarks, old birthday cardsnothing incriminating, nothing that told me anything I needed to know.
Tapping my lip with my finger, I looked around, framed baby pictures of me and Mary K. stood on top of their dresser, and I examined them. In one, my parents held me proudly, fat, nine-month-old Morgan, while I smiled and clapped. In another, Mom, in a hospital bed, held newborn Mary K., who looked like a hairless monkey. It occurred to me that I had never seen a newborn picture of me. Not a single one in the hospital, or looking tiny, or learning to sit up. My pictures started when I was about, what, eight months old? Nine months? Was that how old I was when I had been adopted?
Adopted. It was still such a bizarre thought, yet I was already eerily used to it. It explained everything, in a way. But in another way, it didn't. It only raised more questions.
I looked through my baby book, compared it to Mary K.'s. Mine listed my birth weight correctly and my birth date. Under First Impressions, Mom had written: "She's so incredibly beautiful. Everything I ever hoped for and dreamed about for so long."
I closed the book. How could they have lied to me all this time? How could they have let me believe I was really their daughter? I felt unstable now, without a base. Everything I had believed now seemed like a lie. How could I ever forgive them?
They had to give me some answers. I had the right to know. I dropped my head into my hands, feeling tired, old, and emotionally empty.
It was noon. Would they all have lunch at the Widow's Diner after church? Would they go on to the cemetery afterward to put flowers around the Rowlandses' graves and the Donovans', my mom's family?
Maybe they would. They probably would. I heeded beck into the kitchen, thinking that I should have some lunch myself. I hadn't eaten anything. But I was too upset to face food yet. Instead I took a Diet Coke out of the fridge. Then I found myself wandering into the study, where the computer was.
I decided to run a search. I frowned at the screen. How had her name been spelled, exactly? Maive? Mave? Maeve? The last name was Riordan, I remembered that.
I typed in Maeve Riordan. Twenty-seven listings popped up. Sighing, I started to scroll through them. A horse farm in western Massachusetts. A doctor in Dublin, specializing in ear problems. One by one I flipped through them, reading a few lines and closing their windows. I didn't know when my family would be home or what I would face when they arrived. My emotions felt flayed and yet distant, as if this were ail happening to someone else.
Click. Maeve Riordan. Best-selling romance author present My Highland Love.
Click "Maeve Riordan" as part of an html. Frowning, I clicked on the link. This was a genealogy site, with links to other genealogy sites. Cool. It looked like the name Maeve Riordan appeared on three sites. I clicked on the first one. A scanty family tree popped up, and after a few minutes I found the name Maeve Riordan. Unfortunately, this Maeve Riordan had died in 1874.
I backtracked, and the next Maeve link took me to a site where there were no dates anywhere, as if they were still filling it in. I gritted my teeth in frustration.
Third time lucky, I thought, and clicked on the last site. The words Belwicket and Ballynigel appeared at the top of the screen in fancy Irish-style lettering. This was another family tree but with many separate branches, as if it was more of a family forest or the people hadn't found the common link between these families.
Quickly I scanned for Maeve Riordan. There were lots of Riordans. Then I saw it. Maeve Riordan. Born Imbolc, 1962, Ballynigel, Ireland. Died Litha, 1986, Meshomah Falls, New York, United States.
My jaw dropped open as I stared at the screen, Imbolc. Lithe. Those were Wiccan sabbats. This Maeve Riordan had been a witch.
A sudden wave of heat pulsed through my head, making my cheeks prickle. I shook my head and tried to think. 1986. She died the year after I was born. And she was born in 1962, Which would have made her the same age as the woman listed on my birth certificate.
It's her, I thought. It has to be.
I clicked all over the screen, trying to find links. I felt almost frantic. I needed more information. More. But instead a message popped up: Connection timed out URL not responding.
Frustrated, I shut down the computer. Then I sat tapping my lower lip with a pen. Thoughts raced through my head. Meshomah Falls, New York. I knew that name. It was a little town not too far away from here, maybe two hours. I needed to see their town records. I needed to see their newspapers.
Two minutes later I had grabbed my jacket and was in Das Boot heading for the library. Of Widow's Vale's three library branches, only the biggest one, downtown, was open on Sundays. I pushed through the glass door and immediately headed downstairs to the basement.
No one else was down there. The basement was empty except for rows and rows of books, out-of-date periodicals, stacks of books to be mended, and four ugly black-and-wood-grain microfiche machines.
Come on, come on, I thought, pawing through the microfiche files. It took twenty minutes to find the drawer containing past issues of the Meshomah Folk Herald. Another tedious fifteen minutes trying to figure dates, counting forward from my birthday to about eight months after it. Finally I pulled out an envelope, turned on a microfiche machine, and sat down.
I slid the tiny film card under the light and began to turn the knob.
Forty-five minutes later I rubbed the back of my neck. I now knew more about Meshomah Fails, New York, than anyone could possibly want to know. It was a farming community, smaller and even more boring than Widow's Vale.
I hadn't found anything about Maeve Riordan. No obituary, nothing. Well, that wasn't really surprising. I should probably get used to the idea that I would never know about my past.
There were two more film cards to look at. With a sigh I sat down again, hating the machine.
This time I found the article almost immediately. The little hairs on the back of my neck prickled, and there it was: Maeve Riordan. Stiffening in my chair, I scrolled back to center the page and peered into the viewer. A body burned almost beyond recognition has been identified as that of Maeve Riordan, formerly of Ballynigel, Ireland
My breath caught in my throat, and I stared at the screen. Was this her? I wondered again. My birth mother? I'd never been to Meshomah Falls. I'd never heard my parents talk about it. But Maeve Riordan had lived there. And somehow, in Meshomah Falls, Maeve Riordan had died in a fire.
I surprised myself by shaking uncontrollably as I gazed blankly at the screen. Quickly I scanned the short news dipping.
On June 21, 1986, the body of an unidentified young woman had been found in the ruins of a charred and smoldering barn on an abandoned farm in Meshomah Falls. After an examination of dental x rays, the body had been identified as belonging to one Maeve Riordan, who had been renting a small house in Meshomah Falls and working at the local cafe downtown. Mave Riordan, twenty-three years old, formerly of Ballynigel, Ireland, was not well known in the town. Another body found in the fire had been identified as Angus Bramson, twenty-fire years old, also of Ballynigel. It was unknown why they were in the barn. The cause of the fire seemed unclear.