Diarmuid turned to the east and stretched out his arms. Ye Watchtowers of the East, I summon you, stir and call you, to witness this rite and watch over this circle. He waved his hand through the air, drawing something. A star? No, a pentagram.
I watched in wonder as he moved to the south quarter of the circle and beckoned the Watchtowers there. This was a practice I had never witnessed, and I wondered at the many things I might learn from him.
When he had called to the Watchtowers of the West and North, we ended up together in the center of the circle, facing the altar.
I lifted my hands to the moon. The circle is cast, and we are between the worlds. We are far from the bonds of time, in a place where night and day, birth and death, joy and sorrow meet as one.
The forest seemed suddenly silent, our circle a haven of peace apart from the wars of the nearby clans and dreary villagers.
O mighty Goddess, I have come this day to honor Your presence and to give thanksgiving for bringing Diarmuid to me. We who once were two will become one, Goddess, as we dedicate ourselves to You. I went to the altar and removed a pouch from my pocket. It was filled with dried sage, good for protection and wisdom. I poured the sage onto the altar, crushed it fine with a smooth stone, and pushed the tiny flakes onto the palm of my hand.
We offer sage, I said, returning to Diarmuids side. Sage for protection against those who would harm us. I sprinkled the flaked herb over Diarmuids head, then over my own. Sage for the wisdom to fulfill the Goddesss will. I held my hand to his face, and he tipped back his head. I sprinkled sage onto his tongue, then poured the remainder into my own mouth. Sage for protection and wisdom, I said, feeling a mist come over me.
But you are wise already, Diarmuid said, taking my hands. He began to turn us in a circle. We moved slowly, but the earth seemed to race under our feet. We have been chosen. The Goddess looks upon us with favor. How is it that She knows you so well?
I, Rose, am the Goddess incarnate, I answered. I was beyond thinking. Where had those words come from? Had I heard my mother chant them in an Esbat rite of long ago, or had the Goddess lifted my tongue like a winged bird at my back?
My whole world was spinning, my head dizzy with the whirring motion. Hands joined with Diarmuid, I lifted my face to the sky. It opened up upon me, sending a crushing blade of lightning to my chest.
The jolt lifted me off my feet. Suddenly my stomach was sour, my knees turning to mush beneath me. The ground seemed to rush up, sucking my body onto it.
The next thing I knew, my cheek was pressed to the earth, my knees curled beneath me like those of a child suckling its mother. My eyes were closed, but the whirring noise had stopped. The only sound was Diarmuids voice calling my name.
Rose? Are you all right?
His hands were upon me, rubbing my shoulders, stroking my cheek.
Aye. I sighed and sat up in his arms. What happened? Ive never been struck like that before.
I dont know. Diarmuid pulled me closer into the cradle of his chest. Are you sure youre not hurt?
Just. feeling in a haze. I brushed a lock of dark hair out of my eyes. I was stunned at the Goddesss sudden attack. Had I displeased Her? Im so confused. Why did that happen to me?
Ive seen something like that, but only once. Our coven was gathered in a circle for Esbat rites, and the Goddess struck one of the witches down, very much like that. The coveners saw it as the hand of the Goddess reaching down, pointing to Her chosen one, her priestess. Soon after, the woman was anointed high priestess of our coven.
High priestess... I rubbed my eyes, still queasy from a churning inside me. But Im not in a coven looking for a leader.
Ah, but the Goddess has chosen you, Diarmuid insisted. I know that deep down inside me, Rose. You are destined for greatness. Have you not thought of inheriting your mothers role as high priestess?
Aye, but not for many years. Ma is not ready to relinquish her role, and she still sees me as a babe in the ways of the Goddess. Shes always checking my Book of Spells and trying to pry into my rituals. Truly, she has no confidence in me.
Well, on that shes mistaken. Diarmuid slid a hand around my waist, nearly knocking the air from me. Im sure youre destined to lead your own covenor something even greater. You are special, Rose. Not just in my eyes, but in the eyes of the Goddess.
I have to get home, I said, trying to rise. I coughed, and Diarmuid knelt beside me, then lifted me to my feet.
Can you walk? he asked. For I can readily carry you there, such a wisp of a thing.
I tried a few steps. I can make it. But I hate to go.
Ill help you to the path, he said, lifting me into his arms.
I held fast to his shoulders, allowing myself a few moments of rest and protection in his arms. I had asked for protection, and the Goddess had answered already.
Diarmuid. He would be my pillar.
My soul mate.
5. The Witchs Jar: A Spell of Protection
As darkness fell, the whirring pain within me began to settle, though the memory of it still frightened me. As Ma and I ate our stew thickened with the potatoes from Diarmuid, I noticed that she was still in a dour mood. I kept myself steady, not wanting to draw her ire upon me.
After I had cleaned the supper dishes, Ma brought out a clay jar to prepare for the spell of protection. I dont believe youve ever done a witchs jar before, have you?
I shook my head. No, but Ive collected many sharp objects. Just as you said. I opened the thick pouch and shook its contents onto the table with a tinny clatter.
Fill the jar with everything youve found, Ma told me. And as I remember, there are a few herbs that need to be added. Let me see. She took her Book of Shadows from its hiding place under the eaves of the cottage roof and set it on the table. This is why I expect you to chronicle everything in your Book of Shadows, Rose. The mind does not always record as well as parchment and quill.
Another criticism. I dropped nails into the jar, wondering what I would have to do to please my mother in the ways of the Goddess.
My mother leafed through her book, her teeth pressed over her lower lip, until she found the right page. Aye, we need sage and ivy, she said. And a touch of bay should warn us of any further act of evil coming upon the MacGreavys. She ran her finger down the page, nodding. And marjoram. Do we have that in our collection, Rose?
I think so. I got up from the table to check the pouches hanging from the rafters. Aye, Ma, here it is. As I placed the pouch on the table, she caught my hand in hers.
Her touch sent a spark through me. Surprise, perhaps. Although I already knew I felt guilty for hiding so much from her.
Somethings changed, like shifting winds. She glanced up at me, her dark eyes locking on me. Why do I have the feeling youre not telling me something, Rose? Are you all right?
I nodded, trying to look away from her.
Ma rose to her feet, facing me. What happened to you today? Did something go wrong in your ritual?
I nodded again, too frightened of the painful experience to keep it pent up inside me. I was. I was thanking the Goddess when She struck me down from the sky. I clasped my hands to my chest. The force hit me here, knocking me to the ground. Twas like a lightning bolt on a sunny day and oh, Ma, twas painful.
She folded me into her arms. Child, child. Were you harmed?
I closed my eyes and pressed my head to her blouse, relieved to have the truth out. At first I could barely breathe, but Im better now. Still frightened, though. Why would the Goddess strike me down?
Tis hard to say. Ma stroked my hair, then moved me to a chair. Have you done anything that might offend Her? Think hard, Rose, and be honest. What kind of spells have you been working on of late?
I rubbed my forehead, wondering how to get through my web of lies without tripping over it. Surely my love spell for Diarmuid had not offended the Goddess so greatly? Well, there was drawing down the moon. I did that with Kyra.
Tis not a spell, though.
But we did work magick, I insisted. We had a charm that needed to be charged.
What sort of charm?
As soon as she asked the question, I knew trouble was brewing for me. It was a moonstone for Kyra, I said simply.
And the purpose of the charm?
To bring her the love of Falkner Radburn.
Oh, by the Goddess... Ma banged her fist on the table, making the witchs jar jump a bit. How many times have I told you not to meddle with a persons free will? You can make a charm or a poppet to attract love, but its wrong to ensnare the love of a specific person. To meddle with a persons life, to control his destiny. thats dark magick. She banged her fist again. Its wrong, Rose!
My insides turned stone cold at her anger. Couldnt she see I was just helping a very desperate friend?
Why is it that all my instructions to you fly through the air and fall to the soil? my mother asked. You are not listening, Rose, and today is just one example of how the power of the Goddess can harm if you dont practice witchcraft in the ways of the elders. Do you want to hurt people, Rose?
No, Ma, I said quietly. That much was true.
Then why do you insist on meddling with a persons will? Tis not right, Rose. When you go out to gather plants, do you strike down a plant without apology? Do you slash through stems at will, taking more than you need, harming nature?
No. I dug my fingers into my hair, dropping my chin against my chest. I hated being chastised this way. I thought of Diarmuids comment that he had seen a woman struck down the same way because she was destined to be the high priestess of the coven. Why could my ma not even entertain the thought that there was a positive reason? Could it be that she knew I had been chosen by the Goddess for greatness, and she was jealous of my connection to Her? My face burned at the thought.
So why would you strike out at a person that way, tampering with his destiny?
There was no answerat least, none that would suit herso I kept quiet.
You must go back to your earlier lessons, Ma said sternly. Starting tomorrow, you will look over your Book of Shadows from the beginning. You will spend less time afield with your friends and more time studying from my Book of Shadows, too. And you will stop making up your own spells until I can be sure youre fulfilling the Goddesss will. Do you understand?
I understand, I said. I pressed my teeth into my lower lip, wondering if she would realize that I had not promised her anything.
It was all so unfair. I had tried to gain my mothers support by telling her about the painful strike from the sky, and in turn she merely wanted to cripple me. If Síle the high priestess had her way, Id be locked in the cottage, drying herbs and inscribing spells.
How could I stop making spells when I knew the Goddess was calling me to Her? How dare my mother try to interfere with the Goddesss destiny for me?
Ma did not understand about my powers. And from her tart reaction on that front, I knew that it would be a catastrophe to tell her about Diarmuid.
For now he would be a secret, and until my mother learned to see me as more than her incapable daughter, he would remain a secret.
Down the dark road, Miller MacGreavy led the way. He was followed by his wife, who walked beside my mother, their voices lowered so as not to wake anyone in the cottages we passed. I walked behind them, feeling dull and tired. The nights Esbat rites had hardly moved me. They had only emphasized how Síle and her coven were following a weary, timeworn road while I was on the verge of opening an exciting new doorway to the Goddess.
The breeze rustled the trees so ripe with bud; their clattering branches reminded me of the bell rung at Esbat.
Three times.
An ye harm none, do what thou wilt, Síle chanted.
An ye harm none, do what thou wilt, we all repeated.
Thus runs the Witchs Rede, Síle went on. Remember it well. Whatever you desire; whatever you would ask of the Goddess, be assured that it will harm no onenot even yourself. And remember that as you give, so it shall return threefold.
I trudged along, trying to clear my mothers voice from my head. I had heard her words in the circle so many times, I could recite them by heart.
I am She who watches over thee, said High Priestess Síle.
Mother of you all. Know that I rejoice that you do not forget me, paying me homage at the full of the moon. Know that I weave the skein of life for each and every one of you...
Enough, enough, enough! I grumbled through gritted teeth. I had heard my mothers words so many times, they had become meaningless for me.
As we neared the mill, I wondered if Mas spell of protection would work. At least this was something that interested me, as Id never worked one before. Miller MacGreavy unlatched the big door to the mill, and the four of us filed inside. During the Esbat rites, Ma and the MacGreavys had summoned the Goddess to protect them and the mill, so I imagined that this would entail more spell casting than the ritual had.
Soon Ma had candles lit, and Mrs. MacGreavy set her tools on the table, which we assembled around. Normally I would have helped with preparations, but since Ma had made it clear I was being punished, I held back. Ma had already placed herbs in the witchs jar, which now sat at the center of the table, but I knew there was something more to be added before we sealed it.
Closing her eyes, Ma held up her hands, opened to the Goddess. With this witchs jar we will cast a spell of protection over this mill and this millers family, she said. Looking down at the table, she moved the jar toward Mrs. MacGreavy. Twill need a drop of blood from you. Take your bolline and give your finger the slightest prick.
The millers wife pressed the sharp end of her bolline against her fingertip. A crimson drop began to form, and she squeezed it into the jar.
Then my mother passed the jar over to the miller. Spit in it, she said. He did so. Then Ma began to seal the top of the jar, using hot candle wax. As she worked, she chanted: