Tell me you dont love her, I said.
She has her fair attractions, he said, cutting me.
My knees nearly buckled beneath me. Was this my love, the one who had pledged his love in the Goddesss circle? He had promised to love me and only me. He was supposed to see only my charms.
Did he kiss her the way he had kissed me? Did he touch her and. oh, excruciating torture! I could not think of such things now. Think of the spell, I told myself. Your reason for being hereyour baby.
But mostly, it is the ease with which my life will progress if I take her hand.
His words gave me some relief. I realized it was time to tell him. Yet I offer not a life of ease, but a sign of our bond. Boldly I took his hand and placed it on my belly. There is a child within, Diarmuid. Do you feel it stirring?
He gasped, stepping closer to me. There was power in his touch, magnified all the more by the glow of the child growing inside me.
The Goddess has given us a babe, a sign of our union. Twill be the child that unites the Wodebaynes and the Leapvaughns. Perhaps our child will unite all clans. Oh, Diarmuid, this is how the Goddess intended it. Could you deny such a powerful destiny?
I could not, he gasped. I will not. His face softened as he stroked my belly. A man does not abandon his child, no matter what the obstacles.
My spirits lifted. He understood. He knew that our baby was a sign from the Goddess.
We must marry nowtoday! he said, pulling me into his arms for a kiss. Then he pulled away and dropped to his knees to kiss my belly. My child. Goddess be praised! He kissed the baby over and over again.
I smiled. How would you marry? In a church? Or do you think one of our covens would add a highly unusual handfasting to the Lughnassadh rites?
Well do it any way we can, he insisted. Mayhap your village is best, away from Siobhan and my family. Well go to the Presbyterian reverend firsttonight. Surely he will help us.
My heart lifted. Diarmuid was coming home with me. We would be togethermarried!
After that well arrange a handfasting, he went on. No one dare deny us once were together. I must first run home for a few belongings, then I shall meet you. He glanced up, gauging the position of the sun. Let us meet at our circle in the woods before the sun sets.
I put my hand in his hair, loving the feel of it. Would that we could travel together.
Aye, but your presence would raise too much of a stir at my cottage right now. Well meet in the woods at our circle before sunset. He stood up and kissed me again. Oh, Rose, you are the world to me. After today we shall never be separated again.
Never, I said, thinking of the words of the love spell. Never.
The journey back to my own woods was cooled by afternoon breezes and dreams of lingering in Diarmuids arms. On the way I stopped at the brook for a drink of water, then headed off to prepare the circle for our formal reunion. I swept the circle, then decided to rest on the moss for a while, as the long journeys had taken their toll on my strength. I sat there chanting from the love spell and picturing Diarmuid in my bed each morning when I arose. Where would we live? Perhaps Ma would have us once she got over her initial anger. Besides, she would want to be near the babe, to help nurse her, then to teach her the ways of the Goddess as she grew older. Listening to the sounds of the woodsto the trill of birds and the rustle of wind in the treesI dozed off.
When I awoke, it was dark but for the sickly glow of a yellow moon.
Where was Diarmuid? I sat up suddenly, and my sacred place seemed like a strange wilderness. My life force hammered in my chest as reality hit me.
He was not here. Was he coming?
What had happened? Oh, Goddess, keep and protect him, I whispered, sure that something dreadful had happened to him. There could be no other explanation. I had seen the determination in his eyes, I had felt his commitment. Nothing could stay him from me. Nothing but. something terrible and evil.
I stood up, brushing dust and seeds from my hair. I would return to Diarmuids village. I had surely missed the coven circle, but I planned to miss many more in my life with Diarmuid. Who knew where our adventures would take us? And right now he needed me. I had to go to him.
Darkness closed in around me as I crept through the woods, following my familiar landmarks to the road. I started on my way, wending over a rise. Glancing up, I saw a girl my own age approaching.
Swanlike neck. Flaxen hair.
Siobhan MacMahon.
I was gripped by hatred for hereverything about her, from her sun-kissed hair to her long, graceful neck. But as she caught sight of me, I realized that perhaps I was being unfair. Perhaps, in Diarmuids troubles, he had sent her to come for me. Perhaps she was the messenger of my love. I stepped toward her, eager for news.
Hark! I called out to her. Have you come in search of me, Rose MacEwan?
Aye. She drew close, a sourness pinching her mouth. I have come in search of Diarmuids harlot.
I felt stung.
I have just come from him, the poor lad, she said. He was about to ruin his life by running off with a woman who could satisfy only his base desires. A Wodebayne! Such foolishness. I stopped him in the nick of time.
How did you stop him? I asked, afraid of the harm she might have done to him. Did you hurt him?
Twas not necessary. I needed only to sate his desires to remind him of his attraction to me. Hes fine. Sleeping like a babe, if you must know.
I felt my hands clenching into fists at the implications. Had she lain with him? I could not believe it to be true. He had sworn to be my first and last love and I his. I dont believe you, I said. I do not believe a word you are saying.
Aye, but then, you Wodebaynes arent bright, are you? Thats what I told him. Why throw away a beautiful life with me so that you can waste away with a savage, uneducated Wodebayne?
Perhaps he does not want to be counted among warmongers like the Vykrothes? I jabbed.
She cocked her head, as if weary. He is perfectly fine with my clan. Thats part of his problem. Diarmuid gets on with everyone. At least, every lass. I guess you might call it the charm of the Leapvaughns. They do like to trick us. You are not his first little mistake, you know. He has had others before you. She folded her arms contentedly. But he always comes back to me.
A mistake? A trick? Her words darted through the air like arrows. I sized her up. If I were to battle her, I felt, I would win, and the temptation to cast her to the ground was irresistible.
How dare you! I seethed, reaching for her arm.
Siobhan stepped away, avoiding me. Take heed. She smiled like a cat who has fallen but landed on her feet. You cannot fight the forces at work here. He and I were promised by our parents long ago. Twas a plan to unite the Vykrothes and Leapvaughns. And although my Diarmuid has strayed with the likes of you, he always comes back to me. Her pale gray eyes were full of spite. He loves me. You are just a passing fancy.
So you say, I said tartly, though I felt my strength washing away in the rising tide of doubt. I stood there, trying to fight the feelings that swept through me at the implication that Diarmuid had lain with another, perhaps many others. Oh, Goddess! I wanted to fall to the ground and sob but wouldnt give Siobhan the satisfaction of witnessing my fully blossomed pain.
Would he betray me?
Would he lie with another?
Oh, Diarmuid.
Ive come here not to fight with you, but to give you a warning, Siobhan went on. I know of your silly magick and your Wodebayne tendency to turn to the dark forces. She reached into her pocket and took out a small object. She held it up to the moon, then tossed it to my feet.
The rose stone! How had she come to have it?
It is worthless now, she said. I saw to that.
The small stone looked dim and gray in the dust of the road. I felt too startled to pick it up or respond.
Stay away from Diarmuid, or you will regret it for as long as you live. With that, Siobhan turned away and marched off toward Lillipool.
I stared after her in utter shock. Ordering me away from my love? Crossing my magick charm! Defying the Goddess! Malice rose within me, churning, burning. The urge to shoot dealan-dé at her made my hands twitch. I lifted my hand.
But she turned back with a scowl.
I held the fire within me, held on to the desire to blast her in the face. You havent seen the end of me! I shouted. You will not have Diarmuid, and you will pay for foiling our plans.
Siobhan laughed. It was a cruel, cold sound that seemed to dance on the summer breeze. She was still laughing when she turned away and strode off. Even from behind, her long neck and pale beauty were regal and comely. I wished she would shape-shift into a fat swan and fly away!
There in the center of the road, I stretched my arms out to the Goddess and lifted my face to the sky. I was so frustrated! Why did I keep losing my love at every turn? Despite Diarmuids weaknesses, I knew the Goddess intended us to be together. I knew he was destined to be a father to the child in my womb.
The moon above me was ringed with a watery haloa sign of disruption. As I watched, it moved like a ring of oil, snaking in and out. A ring of madness. It made me wary. Nothing in the air tonight was reliable. It was a moon of illusions and interruptions. I half expected the ground beneath my feet to buckle and give way, dropping me deep into an earthly grave.
Oh, what was I doing, suffering hysterics here in the middle of the road, where murderers, thieves, and disapproving Christians could come along at any second? Overwhelmed, I moved off the road to hide behind some bushes, pressed my palms to my face, and began to cry. It was too much to bearlosing my love again! And it hurt all the more now that he knew of our child. He was not just turning against me: he was rejecting the tiny babe in my womb!
I was on my knees, sobbing, when I sensed another blood witch in the brush behind me. I turned and stared into the darkness, using my magesight. Aislinn, the young witch from Síles coven, was closing in on a rabbit. She leaped into a patch of watery moonlight, trying to catch it, but the animal slipped away at the last second.
She was probably on her way home from the Lughnassadh circle, but what was she doing trying to catch a rabbit? Aislinn? I called through my tears. What are you doing? Could she be trying to capture a creature to spill its blood in a dark spell?
Oh, just having a game with the creature, Aislinn said, closing the distance between us. Her mouth twitched a bit, making me wonder if my suspicions were correct. What say you, Rose? Your ma said you were ill, but here, collapsed along the road? She hurried over and helped me to my feet. Can you walk?
I think so, I said, though I have nowhere to go now that... A new wave of hysteria came over me, and I choked on my words.
Aislinn patted my back. Come now, Rose. Ive never seen you in such a state. We must sit. She led me to a fallen log, where we sat amid the fireflies. We missed you at the circle tonight, and I know your ma was worried, though she made your excuses, claiming that your sickness had arisen once again. I sense that it is not sickness that kept you away, but some other distressing matter.
As she talked, I dried my eyes with the hem of my summer skirt. When she pushed back her red hair, I noticed that she had inscribed runes of plant dye on her forehead as part of her devotion to the Sun God. I gasped. It was typical Aislinn, but Reverend Winthrop of the village would have her hanged for the pagan practice if he saw the markings. It seemed as though she were risking her life to flaunt her devotion to the Goddess. Aislinn had always been a rebel, and I found much of her behavior shocking. I was not sure that I could trust her, but she was a member of my coven, and at the moment I had so few choices.
You have guessed right, I told her. It seems I am caught in a terrible love triangle, and I have spent the evening grappling with a vicious Vykrothe girl who intends to steal my love away!
Her face was awash with moonlight and interest, so I told her of my sorrows. Of my love for Diarmuid despite our clan differences. Of his intentions to run away with me. Of Siobhans interference. I managed to exclude mention of my baby, not wanting to give Aislinn more than her share of sordid details. And it seemed that her ardor was fired by the situation alone.
Yet another example of the other clans conspiring against us! she railed. Oh, you poor girl! To be the victim of their hatred.
I felt new tears slip down my cheeks at her words. At the moment I didnt care so much about the hatred among the clans, I just wanted Diarmuid back.
I dont blame you for crying, Aislinn said. Her red hair fell over one cheek like a thick veil as she leaned toward me. Its a heavy burden upon your shoulders now, made all the worse by the fact that your ma doesnt understand at all. She keeps telling Wodebayne folks to lie down while the other clans trample over us!
I sniffed, surprised that Aislinn understood how difficult it was to be the daughter of a high priestess, especially one with such strong views. Although the Wodebaynes had endured bigotry throughout my life, my mother had never wavered from her position of peace among the clans. I wondered about Ma now. She would be annoyed at my disappearance. But her true fury would pour out when she learned of my love for a boy from another clan and of my pregnancy.
Pressing a hand against my belly, I realized I would have to return to Síle tonight. It was late, and it would be far too dangerous, not to mention foolhardy, for me and my babe to try to make the journey into Lillipool tonight.
Oh, how had I gotten myself into such a position?
You cannot let this matter rest, Aislinn said, her eyes lit with determination.
Aye, my heart will not let me. Nor will the child inside me, I thought as I slid off the log.
You must fight back, Aislinn went on. Síle and her coveners keep trying to tamp down the fires, but theres no quenching the blaze now. The other clans have struck the first blows, and now its up to us to show them the strength of our magick. We have the power to punish the other clans. Why dont we use it?