First, how desperate did she sound? Unbearably! Shed known this would happen if she made another play for him. And yet, shed done it anyway. Like Pavlovs dogs, she drooled every time she spotted Strider, abandoning her pride for any scrap hed toss her way.
Second, thinking of this man with someone else had her claws elongating and her Harpy screeching. Her wings flapped to the same staccato rhythm as her heart, causing her shirt to lift and fall, lift and fall.
If she wasnt careful, her Harpy would take over, control her actions. Her vision would go black, and a need for blood would consume her. She would stalk the night, hurting anyone who got in her way.
Only Strider would be able to calm her down, but he didnt know that. Even if he did know it, he clearly didnt want the responsibility. He was doing everything in his power to push her away.
I wont be sleeping with one of your friends, he said flatly.
The hottest threads of tension drained from her. Good. Thats good. All of my friends are ugly hags, anyway. They were gorgeous, every one of them, but if hed taken her up on the offer, she would have cut them loose in a heartbeat and gotten new ones. Repulsive ones.
Kaia. Theres nothing you can say to change my mind. I like you, I do. Youre beautiful and smart and funny as hell. Youre strong and courageous, too, but nothings ever going to happen between us. Im sorry, I really am. Im not meaning to be an asshole here, just truthful. Were just not good for each other. Not a good match. Im sorry, he repeated.
They werent good for each other? What he really meant was she wasnt good enough for him. After she had chased him, lost a fight to protect him, threw herself at him time and time again, she wasnt a good match for him. And hewassorry
Suddenly she wanted to claw his face. Drink his blood.
Dont forget the upcoming games. Hurting him would hurt her, and she needed to be at her best.
She drew in a deep breath, held it, held, her lungs burning, blistering, before she slowly released every molecule, singeing her throat, her nose. She might have thought Strider deserved something, someone, better, but she deserved better than this. Right?
He finished lamely, I hope you understand, completely unaware of the havoc hed created. Or maybe he just didnt care.
He needed to learn the proper etiquette for dealing with his Harpy.
She needed to teach him.
She should close the distance between them and trace her fingertips all over him before he had time to dart away, all the while pressing her curves against him. Anything to arouse him. Anything to force him to see her as more than the beautiful, smart and funny girl who had nailed the keeper of Promiscuity. Then, as he begged for release, she should walk away.
He wouldnt be harmed, but he would leave with a better understanding of how rotten denunciation felt.
Kaia couldnt bring herself to take a single step, however. She might just find herself on the receiving end of rejection and failure yet again. He might push her away before she could make her move. And really, a thousand other rejections and failures awaited her in the coming weeks.
So much for giving him countless chances.
I do understand, she whispered. Justhave fun on your trip, okay. A dismissal. I plan to have lots of fun on mine. A lie. Although she did plan to hold her head up high and kick as much ass as she could. So much ass, in fact, that her clan would have to rethink her title.
Kaia the Disappointment no longer. Maybe shed become Kaia the Stompalicious. Or Kaia the KillYouDeadatron.
Soyoure going on a trip? he asked, and he sounded relieved.
Do not react. Yep. I sure am.
Still he didnt face her. Where? When?
Dont you dare react. In four days, I leave foroops, never mind. She moved around him and sat at the table. You dont want to know, remember? Doing her best to appear nonchalant, even smug, all while the bastard ripped her heart out of her chest and danced on the pieces, she opened a bag of chips.
Youre right. Justbe careful, and Ill see youjust be careful, okay?
Hed stopped himself from saying later. Ill see you later. Because he had no plans to see her again. Ever.
I will, she said, as she fought tears for the second time in her life. She deserved this, she supposed. Punishment for the Unfortunate Incident, for Paris, hell, for all the rejections she had dished out over the centuries. You, too. Much as she currently despised him, she wanted him healthy, whole.
I will. He strode out of the kitchen, out of her home, out of her life, the front door banging ominously shut behind him.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE NEXT DAY, STRIDER SPENT his morning roaming the Budapest fortress, checking on his friends. Anything to distract himself from thoughts of Kaia and how sad shed sounded just before hed left her. Not to mention how hed longed to pull her into his arms, hold her, comfort her. Devour her.
Not going there.
Legion, a spoiled full-on demon minion turned spoiled human with a porn-star body turned tortured prisoner of Lucifer turned subdued, silent bed-bound damsel in distress, rolled to her side, facing away from him when he entered her bedroom.
Physically, she had healed from her hellish captivity. Mentallyshe might never heal. Shed spent several weeks being passed from one demon High Lord to another, raped, beaten and gods knew what else. No one knew because she refused to talk about it.
Hey, there, princess. Strider eased beside her on the bed and patted her shoulder. She flinched, jerking from the touch. He sighed, removed his hand.
He didnt like visiting her. Oh, he liked her as a person, for the most part, and ached for the trials she had endured, but he was afraid Defeat would view her emotional distance as a challenge and force him to push her for more. More she wasnt ready to give.
She needed help, and her closest friend, Aeron, and his joy-bringing angel, Olivia, were trying, but so far Legion hadnt responded positively to anyone. She wasnt eating properly, and was slowly but surely wasting away. Strider knew there was a guardian angel keeping watch over her, even though hed never gotten a peek at the guy. What he did know: the invisible bastard wasnt doing his job.
Yeah, Legion had been a selfish pain in the ass before, but she didnt deserve this. And actually, Strider had liked her better the other way.
What happened to you has happened to a few of the guys here, did you know that? A few times to Kane, in fact. Since hes possessed by Disaster, hes like a magnet for that kind of thing. And Im not gossiping or sharing private info. When we lived in New York, he ran a support group to help others. Maybe you should, I dont know, talk to him or something.
Silence.
Her blond hair was tangled and matted, her skin sickly with a grayish cast. Underneath the thick white fabric of her nightgown, he could tell her shoulders were frail.
One time Paris and I evenwait. That is gossiping. Never mind. Youll have to ask Paris if you want to know that little tidbit.
Silence. From her and his demon. Most definitely she presented a challenge, and yet, Defeat was letting the indifference slide.
He tucked the covers higher, just under her chin, and saw a glistening teardrop slither down her cheek.
Okay, then. I just wanted to check on you, but I know youre not comfortable with me so Ill go, he said gently. She couldnt relax with him here, and he didnt want to make things worse for her.
More silence. He released another sigh as he stood. Call me if you need anything. All right? Anything at all. Im happy to help.
Again, no response from either Legion or his demon. He wondered what was up with hisdistracted? hiding? uncaring?companion as he strode to his next stop. Amuns room.
Despite the fact that he and Amunand hell, even he and Haideewere on good enough terms, hed avoided contact for over a week. Just seeing her caused little sparks of pain to dance through his chest. Not because he still wanted her, but because hed lost her, could never have her, and his demon couldnt forget what theyd endured because of her dismissal.
Haidee opened the door, and he studied her out of habit. She was average height, her pale hair streaked with pink. One of her eyebrows was pierced, and one of her arms sleeved in tattoos. Dressed in a Hello Kitty T-shirt and ripped jeans, she would be carded at any bar.
When she saw him, she frowned and moved out of the way, allowing him inside. Despite that frown, she appeared lit up from the inside out, pulse after pulse ofhe grimaced. What the hell was that?
If he were fed the muzzle of a .40 and told to guess or die, Strider would have said love in its purest form seeped from her pores. Almost hurt to look at her, she was so radiant.
Shit. Are you pregnant?
No. A secret smile curved her lips. Well, well. Picking up Amuns all-things-are-a-mystery vibe already. Whats up?
Strider rubbed a hand over his heart, expecting more of those flickers of pain, especially with that glow blasting at his corneas, butnothing. Not even a skip in the organs beat. Okay, fine. Whatever. He could roll.
His gaze swept through the room. Haidee had taken over the decorating, so the place was no longer like vanilla ice creamplain, unadorned and completely lacking a personality.
Haidee favored contemporary styles with a Japanese flair. He tried not to cringe. Lanternlike lights hung from the ceiling. The walls were now brown and orange, each color staggered to form a boxed pattern. Bonsai trees seemed to grow from every corner, and white shag carpets stretched under three glass nightstands. White carpet. Had she not seen the amount of dirt a warriors boots could track in? The comforter on the bed was white, too, with beaded orange pillows.
If shed tried this shit in his room, they woulda had a serious beef. A man needed to feel comfortable in his surroundings or he couldnt relax. This wasnt comfortable.
Only once had Strider lived with a woman, and only because shed challenged him to move in. I know I can make you happy if you come home to me every night. Can you make me happy, though? I guess well find out.
After a few weeks of cohabitating, hed willingly accepted defeat. He could not make her happy because he didnt want to make her happy.
He thought back to Kaias house and her decorating flare. Now there was a woman who knew how to make a place comfy and fun. Seriously, shed had a toilet painted to resemble an open mouth. I want.
Haidee cleared her throat. Strider?
He turned to face her. What? Her expression was expectant, all soft and gooey with whatever pulsed from her, and he recalled that hed come to her, not the other way around. Yeah, uh. Wheres Amun?
Cronus summoned him to the heavens.
Why?
Another secret smile. Dont know yet.
How longs he been gone?
Three hours, nine minutes and forty-eight seconds. Not that Im watching the clock or anything. Can I help you with something?
Nah. Hed just wanted to see the guy, he supposed. After everything Strider had done to himtrying to keep Amun and Haidee apart Guilt, man, how it ate at him sometimes. Ill just, uh, catch him later.
Her brow furrowed with confusion. And concern? Yeah. That was concern. You sure?
He shouldnt have been surprised, butshed killed Baden, keeper of Distrust. Shed tried to kill Strider. And shed had very good reason for both. Long, long ago, theyd helped slaughter her family, destroy her life. Hell, because of a demon, shed been killed time and time again.
Each time shed come back, shed remembered only her hate, knew only about the deaths of those shed once loved. Sought only vengeance. Made sense, since shed been possessed by a piece of the demon of Hate. And maybe that was another reason Strider had wanted her. That piece of Hate had caused other people to dislike themselves and even her. Strider had gotten over that quickly, had defeated that, which was why he suspected being with her had been a bit of a rush for both him and his own demon.
That she now adored Amun, that she now supported the Lords and their cause, well, it was a miracle Strider needed to stop questioning.
Yeah. Im sure. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Never before had he initiated contact that didnt involve knives. See you around, Haidee.
Her mouth fell open, and she sputtered. Yeah. See ya, she said weakly. Hed never been quite that nice to her, either.
He must be softening in his old age.
Next he found himself standing in the doorway of Sabins bedroom, eating handful after handful of Red Hots. He had a stash of his favorite candy hidden in every corner of the fortress. He watched his friend toss all kinds of shit into a suitcase. His wife, Gwen, bustled around him, making a halfhearted attempt to fold the mountain of clothes Sabin had wadded into balls, stack the weapons he had only partially sheathed and remove the bullhorn from the case for a third time.
Once, the Harpies had called her Gwendolyn the Timid. Strider didnt know what they called her now, but the moniker certainly didnt fit anymore. The little firecracker had come into her own and kicked even Kaias ass, locking her in the dungeon below to prevent her from peeling Sabins skin from his body and wearing it as a victory coat.
Kaia.
His heart skipped a stupid beat, making him feel like a schoolboy with a crush. Something hed never been. Zeus had created him fully formed, a weapon ready to be unleashed upon anyone who threatened the former god king and those he loved. Even then, before Strider had been given his demon, he had liked to win, railroading anyone who got in his way.
What joy could be found in defeat? None.
His demon grunted in agreement.
Strider refocused on his surroundings before the little shit began pushing him around. As he continued to watch Gwen, he noted how much she resembled her older sister.
Kaia.
Here we go again. Gwen had a thick mass of blond hair streaked with redthe same shade of red as Kaias. If he were being honest, though, Kaias was prettier. Wavier, silkier. And while Gwens eyes were a startling mix of gray and gold, just like Kaias, Kaias were still lovelier. On her, the gray veered toward liquid silver and the gold, well, the gold flickered like fireflies.