O-okay, she said, confused. Why? Because hed feel obligated to tell his friends, but didnt actually want them to know? Yes, she realized a moment later. That was exactly why.
The thought of possible betrayal should have sent her leaping out of his lap. Instead, she cuddled closer. He was still trying to take care of her.
Whos the Bad Man? he asked, changing the subject.
Hearing a nickname shed only ever thought jolted her. How did you know about him?
His thumb brushed the side of her jaw, and she shivered. I had a vision of you. Like the one we saw together, of you on the veranda. Except in this one, you were a little girl. Everyone else, I can read their minds, but youI have only ever seen snatches of your life.
First, he could read all minds but hers? That was kind ofdisappointing. She wished he could see all of her, know all of her. If anyone could help her sift through her confused emotions and conflicting desires, it was this man. The Bad Man was the first Hunter I ever met. He found me after my parents were killed.
Blood, a river between her mother and her father. Both helplessdead.
Oh, no. No way in hell would she allow that hated memory to resurface now. He saved my life aftersomeone like you tried to kill me. He thought Id come in handy. She laughed bitterly. He was right, he just didnt know it. I was nearly a teenager when he sold me in the slave market after failing to train me. But after I died the first time, I remembered his lessons and thats how I later hooked up with the Hunters.
And thats when you helped kill Baden? Simply asked, with no hint of his emotions.
Goodbye, sweet, stolen moment. If any topic could ruin their ease with each other, it was that one. Still. She nodded, tears once again burning her eyes.
Who did we take from you that drove you to hate us so deeply?
Again, there was no emotion in his voice. Not anger, not condemnation. Far more stunning, his question offered her absolution. A justifiable reason for her actions. He would never know what that meant to her, how profoundly that affected her.
She couldnt help herself. She pressed a kiss on the pulse thumping at the base of his neck. My parents. My sister. Myhusband.
Husband?
Yes.
His arms tightened around her. Before, you mentioned only one of us had done the deed. Do you knowdo you know which of us it was?
That hesitancyhe feared he was the culprit, she realized. I did not see the face of the one who killed my parents and sister, but I do know it wasnt you or any of your friends. He was a demon-possessed warrior, though. As for my husband She sighed. Im not sure exactly who was responsible, but I do remember seeing your friends the night of his death.
He tipped up her chin and met her gaze, his black eyes deep pools of regret. He didnt speak, and neither did she. Earlier he had offered her absolution, and with her silence, she now did the same for him.
He nodded in understanding, in thanks, and released her chin. His hand slid into her hair, his fingers combing through the strands. Do you know the story of how I came to be demon-possessed?
I think so. You and the others stole and opened Pandoras box, unleashing the demons that were trapped inside. The gods decided to punish you, and rightly so, she couldnt help but add, by bonding each of you with a demon of your own.
Thats right.
Whyd you steal the box, anyway?
Zeus asked Pandora to guard it rather than asking us, and we wereupset.
Insulted, you mean. Men and their pride, sometimes the reason nations fell.
Yes. We wanted to teach the god king a lesson, show him our worth.
And did you?
Hardly. We showed him exactly how stupid we were.
She fought a grin. At least he saw and accepted the truth.
He lifted a lock of her hair to his nose and breathed deeply, a moan of satisfaction drifting through her mind. The reason I brought up the box was to tell you that there were more demons locked inside than there were warriors to punish for unleashing the evil. Those that remained were placed in the prisoners of Tartarus. An immortal prison, he explained.
Ah. She knew where he was going with this. So the man who killed my parents and sister might have been released from that prison.
Or escaped. Yes.
And whoever killed my husband could have escaped, as well?
That, I dont know. I wish otherwise, but If you saw us that night, Id say theres a ninety-nine percent chance we were responsible.
No excuses, just brutal honestly. With countless lifetimes steeped in mystery, she appreciated such unvarnished probabilities. She kissed his pulse a second time, letting him know the admission hadnt propelled her into a rage. His sandalwood scent consumed her senses, reminding her of their shower. Which reminded her of their almost-kiss. Which reminded her she was in his arms and had only to stretch up to press their lips together.
Have you seen the man whohave you seen him since?
She blinked. Concentrate. While shed been opening the doors to her bodys desires, Amun had been focused on the being responsible for her familys demise, still determined to look out for her. A few times, she hedged. More like a hundred.
When? Where?
Each time, just before I die, she admitted. Always a prelude to the end of her current existence, as if he poisoned whatever life shed managed to build for herself. But as many times as shed seen him, shed never fought him. And shed wanted to fight him, so badly. He would simply reveal himself, that dark robe dancing around his ankles, his feet not quite touching the floor. He would watch her, hate dripping from him. He would curse at her. But he would never touch her or allow her to touch him. Then, he would disappear.
I need to think on this, Amun said.
Her stomach chose that moment to rumble, and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
Once again Amun lifted her up, but this time he placed her on that bed of petals. Instantly she mourned the loss of his arms, his heat. I need to find you something to eat. I was afraid the snakes would harm you, even in their deaths, so I brought none of their meat with us.
Always taking care of her, her Amun. I wish that stupid angel had packed a few protein bars and bottles of water, she said, snappier than shed intended.
Beside her, the pack in question plumped up with a whoosh. She and Amun shared a confused glance. Frowning, he leaned over, unzipped the panels and reached inside. He withdrew a handful of protein bars.
His frown deepened as he upended the bag and dumped out the contents: more protein bars, followed by bottles of water. Just like that, his frown softened with hints of relief and wonder.
Ask for something else, he commanded.
Haidee lumbered to her knees, not daring to hope. I wish the pack had sandwiches and fruit.
The sides of the pack expanded a second time before sandwich after sandwich fell on top of the bars, each encased in a clear plastic wrapper. And when those stopped raining down, apples and oranges began to drop and roll. Haidees mouth watered.
I want wet wipes and a change of clothes. I want weapons and toothpaste and a toothbrush theyd left those behind and a first aid kit for Amuns wounds. As she spoke, each of the requested items joined the pile.
Giddy, she sorted through the food, picking out what she wanted to eat. Once she had a ham sandwich and apple in hand, she practically inhaled them. Then another sandwich, then an orange. She drained two bottles of water. Every bite, every drop was heaven. And when she finally finished, too full to shovel in another crumb, she cleaned herself as best she could with the wipes, brushed her teethGod, that felt goodand finally allowed herself to glance over at Amun. Breath caught in her throat.
The firelight caressed him lovingly, bestowing a golden tint on his dark skin. A tint she hadnt noticed before. He was watching her, a strange, bemused expression on his beautiful face, and a half-eaten apple in his hand. Obviously hed cleaned up, too, since his face was no longer streaked with dirt.
Let me bandage your wounds, she said quietly.
The bemused expression vanished, his pupils expanding, his nostrils flaring as if he suddenly scented prey. Her eyes widened. What had she said?
Your concern for me is nice, but to bandage me, youll have to put your hands on me. I want your hands on me for a different reason.
IIokay.
Come here. There was such force, such command in his tone, she didnt even think about refusing.
She crawled to him, quickly closing the distance between them. He set the apple aside, but he didnt touch her. He simply peered at her. Waiting. Expectant. She rose to her haunches, breathing him in. The sandalwood was now layered with the peat smoke.
She was supposed to bandage him first, right? Then touch him for a different reason. II forgot the supplies. They were around here somewhere, and
Forget the supplies again. Youre going to kiss me now, Haidee.
His heat was like a thick vine around her. She found herself almost in a trance as she straightened and said, Yes. Finally. Another kiss. Exactly what shed craved. Forever, it seemed.
A kiss between you and me and no other.
Yes. A plea from deep inside.
Do it, then. His voice snapped like a whip, daring her even as it warned her.
It was then she realized that, on some level, he was still fighting his desire, exactly as he had in the shower, just before hed walked away from her, and that even when their tongues were rolling together, he still meant to resist her, to maintain distance.
She wasnt going to let him.
If she gave her all to their kiss, he had to give his all, too. That was only fair.
II wont kiss you, she said, shivering as his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. I mean, I wont do it because Im grateful to you, and I wont do it to distract or soften you. Ill do it just because I want you. So get ready. Because I expect the same from you. If you cant do the same, walk away now.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ILL DO IT JUST BECAUSE I want you. As Haidees soft, shattering words echoed in Amuns mind, he stopped waiting for her to take the lead, stopped waiting for her to physically prove her desire for him, thereby atoning for her rejection of him in favor of Micah in the shower.
I can give you what you want, he told her, voice raw.
Her lips parted on a relieved gasp.
He didnt want her relieved; he wanted her mindless. With a moan, he crushed his mouth to hers, one hand at her nape, one on her ass, and jerked her into the uncompromising line of his body. Immediately she opened for him, welcoming the hard thrust of his tongue into those wet, satiny depths. He tasted mint and apple, both frosted like ice cream. Both fueling his need.
During their talk, hed meant to ask her about the unnatural chill of her skin, but as shed spoken of death and pain, he had focused only on that. On finding a way to save her. There had to be a way. And there had to be a reason she kept coming back.
How many times had she died? hed wondered. In how many ways? Not knowing tortured him, but he had a feeling that knowing would utterly destroy him. No matter what shed done in the past, she hadnt deserved to suffer as she clearly had. Especially more than once. The fear in her eyes as shed spoken of being reborn into the same bodyhe never wanted to see it again.
And could he really blame her for her hatred of him and his friends? A demon-possessed immortal had slain her family, her husband. Amun would have reacted the same way, lashing out at everyone responsible, even the slightest bit. At the time of Badens death, Haidee had known only that the Lords were violent, crazed, capable of any dark deed. Of course shed sought to destroy them.
Hed done the same to her. To her colleagues.
Now, as Amun looked back without any taint of guilt, fury or despair, he knew three things to be true. Haidee had lost her family. He had lost a friend. He wasnt going to hate her for that loss anymore. Since shed fought her way into his bedroom, so sweetly caring for his wounds, the sentiment hadnt sat right with him, anyway. Hed had to force the issue.
Now, he wanted all of her. He wouldnt, couldnt, settle for less, his need to touch no longer about tiring of her or freeing himself of this obsession, but about gratifying her.
Amun, she rasped, and the sound of his name on those pleasure-giving lips nearly undid him. Youyou stopped. Why did you stop?
Amun. Shed called him Amun. He lifted his head and peered down at her. Her mouth was red, swollen and glistening with moisture. Her tongue flicked out to capture the lingering flavor of him. His shaft throbbed in response, desperate to feel the clench of her inner walls.
Her hands rested on his shoulders, her nails already cutting. He was panting, sweating despite the cool breeze wafting from her.
Whats wrong?
You always called me baby when you thought I was Micah. Just then, he had trouble even thinking the loathsome name. The scope of his understanding extended to Haidee and only Haidee. Besides being a Hunter, the bastard had held her, tasted her, and while Amun knew he was being irrational, he despised every man whod ever had this pleasure. His pleasure. Yet you call me by my name, he finished darkly.
Her expression softened, illuminating the delicacy of her features. The only person Ive ever called baby is you.
Well, okay, then. That was acceptable. He reclaimed her mouth in a rush. Their tongues rolled together, taking, giving, their teeth scraping. Hands began roaming, every new touch increasing their fervency. He cupped her breasts, her nipples beading under his palm, and he moaned.
I wish they were bigger, she said between licks.
Her breasts? Why?
Men like bigger.
Someone had made her self-conscious, he realized, and he wanted to kill that someone. This man likes these. He squeezed. They were small, as shed implied, but firm and wonderfully tipped. And they truly were the sweetest little morsels, as he had implied. Theyre perfect.