I saw what came after. Another croak.
With one hand snaked around her waist, propping her up, he used his other hand to palm a bar of soap and began lathering her skin. But you were so happy at the beginning.
So intimate a task, so shattering a topic. Yet, despite who and what he was, she had never felt more comfortable with another being. He didnt try to arouse her as he cleaned her, careful of her cuts and bruises; he merely performed a basic task.
Yes, she said.
Tell me, he repeated. Once her skin was washed free of dirt and grime, he massaged shampoo into her hair. The scent of sandalwood bonded with the rising steam.
She opened her mouth to obey, but the words tangled on her tongue. If she spoke them, she realized, she would fling herself back to the past, back to that dark, dark day that had forever changed the course of her lifeand his. She would lose the tranquility of this moment.
Tranquility she desperately needed.
No, she finally said. Not now. Later. Please.
Our later is filling up.
I know.
She expected him to push for answers, but he merely ducked her head under the spray of water and rinsed the suds from her hair. Clearly he understood a womans needs because he coated the thick strands with conditioner, gave the cream time to do its job, then gently rinsed her hair again.
There. All clean.
Thank you.
He didnt switch off the water or even move from where he stood behind her. He simply continued to hold her, strong fingers tracing circles just below her navel, his chin resting atop her head.
Still he didnt try to arouse her. Not once did he pluck at her pebbled nipples or brush his fingertips over her sex. Yet, with every second that passed, her skin became more sensitized, a primitive need unfurling inside her and overshadowing that thick cloak of fantasy.
Reality was better.
Still. She had to resist. For every reason shed already noted and the thousand others she hadnt yet considered.
Took every ounce of strength she possessed, but she stopped herself from lifting her arms, curling them back and digging her fingers into his scalp. Stopped herself from angling her face up to his for a kiss. Bottom line, despite everything else, he didnt desire her. He couldnt. Not when she was practically bare, covered only by thin strips of white cotton, and hed had his hand all over her, yet had never tried to arouse her.
Suddenly that wasnt the comfort it had previously been.
Had he figured out exactly who she was? Was that why he no longer wanted her?
No, he couldnt know. Otherwise, he wouldnt be taking such good care of her. Most likely hed just decided kissing a Hunter, any Hunter, was wrong.
Amun, I have to she began, stopping when he stiffened. What had she said?
You know my name?
Her nerve endings flared with trepidation. Yes, she whispered.
So you know who and what I really am. A statement of fact, not a question. You know Im not your Micah.
No reason to deny the truth. Yes. Another whisper.
And yet you of all people let me hold you like this?
Something about the absolute confusion in his tone alerted her. She replayed his words. You of all people, hed said. Oh, God. Shed been wrong, she thought dizzily. He knew. Hed already known she was a Hunter, yes. Shed told him. Now, however, he knew the rest, the worst of the details. He knew about her part in Badens death.
Why hadnt he killed her already?
The moisture in her mouth dried, and her knees began to tremble. DefeatStrider told you who I am. What Ive done. She was proud to note that no emotion filled her voice, only arctic steel.
No. I discovered the truth on my own. You were Hadiee then, but are now Haidee. Whoever you were, whatever you are, you were there when Baden was slain.
Confirmation. And yet you of all people hold me like this? As she snapped the question, understanding dawned. This was the calm before the storm. Hed merely shown her the pleasure she could have had but now would be forever denied.
A bitter laugh escaped her. In a lifetime of regret and pain, he had no idea that denying her would simply be more of the same. That he wouldnt break her. Wouldnt ruin her. No matter what he did, shed already experienced worse.
Amun spun her around before severing all contact. Their gazes locked, black fire glittering down at her. She gasped as another realization struck. He hadnt been unaffected by touching her. Far from it. Lines of tension branched from his eyes and mouth. His lips were pulled taut over the straight white pearls of his teeth. His breath emerged shallow and fast, his nostrils flaring.
Wait. Did he want her? Or was he simply pissed?
The swelling had gone down in his face, revealing a rough beauty that shocked her further. His skin was like the richest coffee mixed with the slightest dollop of cream. Those gorgeous black eyes were framed by a thick fan of silky lashes, lashes longer even than hers. He had an aquiline nose, regal and proud. His cheekbones were so sharp they could have cut glass. Lips that would have been considered cruel if not for their soft pink color glistening with moisture.
His chest was bare, scabbed in striking patterns of four. Claw marks, she thought with a shiver. His own? Hers? His nipples were small and brown, beaded. Rope after rope of muscle descended the torso of a man who had honed his strength on the battlefield rather than inside a gym.
He wore sweatpants that hung low on his waist, revealing the barest hint of dark, springy curls on his groin. And when she saw that the rounded head of his penis stretched past the material, semen pearling from the slit, she swallowed, her gaze jerking back up to his face.
He was the gentle one, Strider had said. Yet shed never seen a man look quite so fierce.
How did you get me mixed up with him?
You guys look a lot alike. Weirdly alike.
Was he immortal? Pause. You know Im immortal, right?
Yes, I know, and no, hes not. Believe me, I would have known. He was injured time and time again, but he healed as slowly as any human.
So our likeness is a mere quirk of fate? Doubtful. I was created by Zeus, fully formed, and Ive often wondered if the former king had simply looked down from his perch in the heavens, picked out a face he liked and boom. But that creation happened thousands of years ago, so my face had to come first.
And so you think someone else created Micah? Someone who saw you?
Yes.
Then how is he human?
There are gods, humans, demigods, and then creatures in between. He could be any number of things.
Well, maybe Zeus saw past, present and future faces, and picked from those. Or hey, maybe Micahs your son, and you just dont know it. Im sure youve picked up a few humans in your time.
Not possible.
Why? Accidents happen, even with immortals.
I havent been with anyone in a long time. Like, a century. And if he looks to be my age
She couldnt hide her relief. He hadnt been with anyone in over a hundred years. Same with her. Oh. Well, maybe hes a descendant of yours. Maybe its just one of those strange, unexplainable things. Or hell, maybe
Okay. Maybe youre right, he allowed. Doesnt matter, anyway. Were on opposing teams.
Very true.
So why did you change your name? he asked, switching gears.
The simple change of spelling helped me blend in as society changed around me, she said. Plus, there are more Haidees than Hadiees, and I didnt want to be spotlighted for any demons that happened to be looking for me.
If you wanted to blend in, you shouldnt have done so much to stand out. His gaze raked her hair, her tattoos.
She stiffened at his obvious censure. What did she care if he found her appearance lacking? Except for the ache in her chest, she didnt care at all, she told herself.
How are we connected? he demanded, switching the subject again. Bye-bye distraction. Hed asked an excellent question. How were they connected in mind and body?
II dont know. Her cheeks flamed when she heard the stutter. She had fought and won too many battles to count. This man would not intimidate her.
Why cant I harm you?
Had he tried? The thought unsettled her. Maybe for the same reason I cant harm you.
And that is?
Youre the sweetest form of temptation. I know the spicy decadence of your kiss. Ive ridden your fingers and want to ride them again. Not that shed make such an admission aloud. I dont know. Ive had the opportunity, though, she reminded him. Several times.
A sigh slipped from him, easing some of his tension. But you soothed me instead. Protected me.
She nodded. As you did for me.
For a long while, only the pattering of the water against the porcelain could be heard. Part of her was glad they knew about each other. That she didnt have to wonder what would happen when he discovered her secrets. The other part of her had never been more frightened.
They knew, but if they pursued each other anywaythere could be no excuses for their actions. For their stupidity. Their friends would blame them, perhaps begin to hate them. And for what? No matter what they did, there could never be a happily ever after for them.
She must have retreated into her minda shocking discovery, that, since she never allowed herself to drop her guardbecause she never saw him move, but suddenly his hands were clamped onto the flare of her hips. Another gasp escaped her as their gazes tangled anew.
Amun backed her up, pushing her under the waterfall, then walked through the spray himself, not stopping until she was smashed against the tiled wall. And even though they werent touching anywhere but her waist, the heat of him wrapped around her, sinking past skin into bone. Her nipples hardened, aching for contact.
He looked capable of anything just then. Most especially of driving her to the brink of passion, of madness.
Stop this before its too late, she commanded herself. A single brush of his lower body against hers, and too late would happen. She knew it. After their last kiss
She flattened her palms on his chest, felt the erratic rhythm of his heartbeat. A harried rhythm that matched her own. I cant be with you this way. Until Ive spoken to Micah. Oh, God. Had she really said that? Had she really just pushed the qualification out of her mouth, trying to pave the way for them to be together? Even for a little while?
Seriously. What the hell was wrong with her?
Amuns eyelids narrowed, hiding his irises. That should have lessened the dangerous magnetism of him. It didnt. She doubted anything could.
Why? The single word was snapped, demanding an immediate response.
I have to tell him its over between us. That was the only honorable thing to do. For all her faults, she truly wasnt a cheater. But God, even talking about this, she was undermining everything shed already decided, not to mention her resolve to leave Amun alone.
You would end your relationship with him in favor of me? A demon-possessed warrior youve sworn to murder? He laughed without humor. Im not as foolish as you apparently think I am.
She was the foolish one. They would never be able to trust each other, and with good reason. That still didnt stop her from saying, Yes. See? Foolish. She wanted to be with him. Despite everything, even her reasons for pushing him away, part of her needed him and that part clearly would not be denied.
His false laughter died quickly. Your relationship didnt stop you from kissing me before. Now his voice was a growl of frustration.
I didnt know who you were then.
He pondered that for a moment, then nodded. Fine. Ill give you that. But how do I know this isnt a trick?
Nope, no trust. Not that she blamed him. You dont.
And how do you plan to speak with this Micah?
Ill call him. How else?
Water droplets rained down Amuns hard expression. And during the conversation, Im positive you wont speak in code and inform him of your location. Im equally positive he wont try to swoop in and save you. Of course, that means Im positive he wont then try to capture everyone inside this fortress.
No. She shook her head to emphasize her denial. I would break it off with him. No more, no less.
Intense need flickered over his expression. Need blended with possessiveness and primal instinct, with hope and helpless indecision.
No one had ever looked at her like that. As if she were a treasure, wanted in the most primitive of waysas if she were a bundle of dynamite that could detonate at any moment.
So badly she wanted to glide her hands to his back, lock her fingers together and jerk him into the soft line of her body. Then shed feel his hands settle on her bottom and heft her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around him. Shed grind against the long, thick length of his erection until they were both screaming from the pleasure. Already she was close to begging for it.
Amuns hands fell away from her, dropping heavily to his sides, and he straightened. The water cascaded over him without mercy, shielding his features from her view.
Never going to happen, Haidee, he said flatly. A simple fuck isnt worth the consequences. With that, he left her alone in the shower.
His crudeness and cruelty shouldnt have surprised her, but they did. They hurt her, too. Shed been willing to try to make something work between them; he hadnt. He never had. His eyes had been cold, distant as hed reduced her to a simple fuck. Shed never been more to him, would never be more. There were too many obstacles between them.
She wanted to hate him. God, did she want to hate him.
Instead, Haidee did something she hadnt done in hundreds of years. She sobbed like a baby over the cruel fate shed once again been dealt.
CHAPTER TWELVE
AMUN STRIPPED OUT OF HIS WET sweatpants, toweled off, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, then waited for Haidee to emerge from the bathroom. He didnt have to wait long, yet the time apart seemed infinite. When she entered the bedroom, he saw that her features were annoyingly blank, though her eyes were pink and a bit puffy. Had shecried? His chest constricted painfully at the thought, and he nearly stalked to her, nearly took her into his arms. To soothe her.