Immediately Amun spun and stomped to Haidee. He tripped twice more along the way, but not even that slowed him. Secrets, he noted, had ceased prowling, was utterly still and completely silent now.
Only those years of blunting the fiercest edges of his emotions kept his ire inside as he twisted the key into the lock. The metal unsnapped, freeing her. She sagged forward without a sound, arms falling heavily to her sides. She would have kissed the floor if Amun hadnt caught her. His arms despised him, sharp pains still shooting through him, but he didnt care. At the moment of contact, the screams inside his headmuted though theyd beenquieted altogether, the demons determined to hide from her, as if they feared the pulling would start up again.
Gently, so gently, he fit her against his chest and lifted her into his arms. The chill of her skin delighted him anew, and he couldnt help but remember the glide of that skin against his, caressing, stroking, the friction unbearably sweet.
Raw desire, brutal in its intensity, suddenly consumed every inch of him. He fought past that clawing need and carried her to the bed. He eased her down, then fit the covers around her slight frame and peered down at her. How fragile she looked, her cheeks a bit hollowed, her lips chapped, her skin pallid. How vulnerable she was, unable to defend herself from any type of attack.
She would hate that vulnerability, he thought, not needing his demons help to recall the way shed constantly scanned her surroundings, how shed vigilantly searched for a weapon. How she had defended him with her very life.
Because she thought you were her human boyfriend, he recalled next. He despised the reminder. Did she know the truth now? Would she fight him when she woke up? He thought he would prefer that. Better her loathing than her acceptance of him as another man.
He would be liked for himself or not at all.
Amun stilled as he realized where his thoughts were headed. Permanency. Keeping her. The moisture in his mouth dried, and he felt like he was swallowing cotton mixed with Haidees glass shards. He couldnt, wouldnt, keep her.
When his friends learned what shed done, that she was the one who had helped kill Baden, they would demand her head. He could try to talk them out of it, but they wouldnt be denied. He knew that beyond any doubt. And if he chose her, placed her needs over theirs, they would never forgive him. Hell, he would never forgive himself. Baden deserved better. They deserved better.
Dont think about that now. Head spinning with the tide of conflicting emotions and urges flooding him, he climbed into bed beside her, fit her against him, and faced Strider with narrowed eyes. The warrior was watching him, blue eyes ablaze.
Shes more than a Hunter, Strider thought, clearly knowing Amun would hear. Shes responsible for Badens killer.
Amun knew the warrior wanted to keep that particular revelation just between themstrange that he hadnt spoken aloud, considering no one else was in the roombut he was glad. The fewer people who knew about her, the safer she would be, and this way, no one would overhear. Then Secrets informed him that Torin knew, also. That Strider simply hadnt realized. Amun was shocked to his soul that neither man had killed her already. Shock that nearly burned him alive, chasing away the sweetest kiss of her chilled skin. Because she lived, Amun had assumed he was the only one who had figured out her past misdeed.
Well? Strider demanded
In reply to his previous statement, Amun merely nodded.
The warriors nostrils flared with outrage. You knew?
He gave a second nod.
I shouldnt be surprised. You always know everything. But fuck, man! Youre still treating her like a goddamn treasure. The words were gritted as he tunneled a hand through his hair and paced. You picked her over me, damn it.
There was no response that could exonerate him, even another apology, so he offered none. And in the silence, Amun began to hear more of Striders thoughts. Thoughts the warrior couldnt snuff out quickly enough.
Shes mine. To kiss, to kill. Whatever I decide. Damn her, how has she tied me in knots like this? I despise her.
Amuns hands curled into fists. Mine, he wanted to shout. He didnt. Such a confession would only dig his hole of guilt and shame deeper, so he kept his lips pressed into a tight line.
Why havent you harmed her? he signed stiffly. Because Strider desired her, too? Such desire was completely unlike the war-hungry man, though. Only Sabin, their leader and keeper of the demon of Doubt, was better able to place the campaign against the Hunters over his personal needs and wants. So Striders hesitation to strike had to stem from something else. Or rather, it had better stem from something else.
Amun had never felt more capable of murder than he did at that moment, thinking of another man putting his hands on Haidee.
Guiltshamehe fell into the hole anyway.
His friend plopped back into the chair, gaze never leaving him. We dont know how, but she calms you, clears your mind, even makes the demons cower.
So. As hed suspected, Haidee was responsible for his recovery. The knowledge was as upsetting as it was welcome.
She has to be near you, in the same room, forwhatever she does to work, Strider went on. We still dont know how shes doing it, but weve carried her in and out of this room several times to test the limits of her ability. Once she reaches the hallway, your torment begins all over again.
Experiments suddenly made sense. Was her ability the reason he felt bound to her? Because she somehow did what he couldnt, frightening the demons into submission? Was that how she affected him so strongly, his body a slave to desires he didnt want to feel?
That question led to another, one far more distressing than any that had come before. Was this how Baden had felt when hed opened his door one moonlit night and found Haidee outside, begging for help?
The memory opened up in Amuns mind, courtesy of Haidee, he was sure.
Im frightened, shed said, tears glistening in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. I think someones out there, following me. Please escort me home. Please.
He beat it back until he saw only black. He didnt want to go there. Other questions began to pop up, each more damning than the last. Had Baden looked at her lovely face and felt at peace for the first time since his possession? Was that why hed simply bowed his head when the Hunters had surged from their hiding places and attacked him, welcoming his own death?
Jerkily, he signed, Can she hear your thoughts?
No. Strider blinked, shook his head in confusion. Can she hear yours?
Amun nodded stiffly.
Can she hear everything? Even your demons? Even your demons.
No. Thank the gods. Just what I allow her to hear.
Strider propped his elbow on the arm of the chair, a triumphant gleam suddenly glittering in his blue eyes, intensifying the blaze already banked there. We can use that to our advantage.
Of course the warrior immediately went to tricking and defeating the girl. Sabin will
Amun hissed before he could stop himself. No.
Again Strider blinked in confusion.
No, he signed a second time. You will not mention this to Sabin. He barely stopped himself from adding, Ever.
Amun, you know I cant
Not yet. You wont mention it yet. Amun had chosen to follow Sabin while theyd lived in the heavens, soldiers for the god king, even though Lucien had been the one in charge. No one could strategize like Sabin. No one was fiercer. No one was better suited to getting an unpleasant job done.
After theyd opened Pandoras box and found themselves cursed, as well as stuck in the land of the mortals, half of his friends had continued to follow Lucien. The other half had decided to follow Sabin. Amun hadnt changed his mind. Hed gone with Sabin because no one hated Hunters more.
For the first time in all the centuries since, he regretted that decision.
Amun had often helped his friend torture their prisoners for information, but he hadnt enjoyed the screams or the blood as Sabin had. Still. Hed known that what they were doing was necessary to their survival.
Now he knew, deep in his bones, that no matter what he said, the moment Sabin learned Haidees true identity, he would stride into this room and calmly but surely strip her of her pride, her peace of mind and even her will to live.
Im not going to keep this from him, Amun, Strider said. There was no emotion in his tone. His voice was dead now, his tenacity clear.
Give me a day with her, then. A day wasnt going to be enough, he realized in the next instant. Not because he desired her. Which he did. Oh, did he desire. More than he should, more than hed ever desired another. There was still no denying that fact. Never before had he placed someone elses welfare above that of his friends, and an enemy at that. No, a day wasnt going to be enough because shed called him baby and he wanted so badly for it to be true.
He scrubbed a hand down his sore, swollen face. The endearment had been meant for another man. That should have lessened its appeal. It didnt.
Still. He was going to protect her, he thought. From Sabin. From all of them. She was the reason Amuns sanity had returned. Therefore, he had to keep her safe. And if he was going to keep her safe, at least for a little while, he needed to set a few rules. Like, no more thinking about how soft she felt in his arms. Like, no more tapping into her sweetest memories. Like, no more kissing her.
The first time had been the last time. No matter how succulent shed tasted. No matter how passionately shed come apart for him. No matter how much he yearned to sink inside her, slipping in and out, slowly at first, then increasing his speed, pushing them both to feverish heights. Shit. He wasnt supposed to be thinking about her, and he damn well wasnt supposed to be lusting for her.
Why do you want a day? Strider demanded. A days not going to change anything. Besides, Sabins not going to kill her, knowing shes responsible for your improved condition.
Sabin would torture her, though. Because I would rather pamper an enemyeven the one responsible for Badens murder, he added for his own benefitthan endure the darkness and the visions. Selfish of him, yes, and another reason to hate himself, but that wasnt going to stop him.
Another reason to hate himself? he mused then. An odd choice of words. Amun didnt hate himself and never had. He didnt like some of the things hed done over his endless lifetime, but hate? No. Unlike some of the other warriors, he wasnt filled with guilt over his past, either. Hed killed innocents, yes. Hed razed cities to the ground, that, too. But hed been a puppet, his strings pulled by his demon. So how, then, was he to blame?
Because he should have been stronger? That was what some of his friends thought about themselves. Not him. No one would have been strong enough to stop those demons.
Because hed helped open Pandoras box, and deserved the punishment that led to his need for destruction? Nearly all of the Lords thought that, but again, Amun didnt. Everyone made mistakes, and that had been one of his. You paid the price and then you moved on.
And what of Haidee? he wondered. Was her mistake forgivable? Had she paid the price? Should he move on?
His jaw clenched. He ignored that line of questioning, focusing instead on what hed do once his day with her was overor if he wasnt even given a day. No matter what, he wasnt going to allow Sabin to have her. When the time came, Amun would simply cart her out of the fortress. And once they left, no one would be able to find them. His demon could do more than steal secrets from those around them. His demon could keep secrets. Distorting memories, even before they were created.
If Amun wanted to disappear forever, he could disappear forever.
He could hide Haidee until he learned how to control the new demons himself. Thenthen he didnt know what he would do with her. Bring her back, he hoped. Do what needed doing, he prayed. Because if he failed to learn the answers he needed, he would be stuck with Haidee forever, destroying his friends.
Plus, Amun added, I plan to talk to her. Learn more about her effect on me.
Who are you trying to fool? Yourself or me? We both know thats a lie. Youre not thinking with you brain right now, my man. The last was snapped, as if the warrior had reached the end of his patience. You want to fuck her, end of story.
Well, Amun had reached the end of his patience, too. What we both know is that you arent thinking with your brain, either.
There was a momentary splash of astonishment over Striders face before the warrior smoothed his features into a blank expression that matched his earlier tone. Stay out of my head.
Control your thoughts, Amun signed. I know you desire her. Now Ill hear you admit it.
The tip of Striders tongue traced over the straight line of his teeth. Fine. I want her. But Im not going to do anything about it. Im not going to let it stop me from winning our war. At least he didnt try to deny his feelings. Can you say the same?
Amun merely raised his chin. I cant say anything.
Funny. Thats not what I meant and you know it.
Well, thats all youre going to get from me.
Fine, Strider snarled, pushing to his feet. Im leaving before you provoke my demon any more. Youve got your day, but Id be careful if I were you. When you least expect it, shes gonna go for your head. Guaranteed. And maybe that doesnt concern you. Maybe you even want to die. Yeah, I saw what you did to yourself. But guess what? Not for a single moment are any of the rest of us ready to deal with your loss. So why dont you think about that before you put your life on the line for our enemy?
CHAPTER TEN
TWO SECONDS AFTER STRIDER barricaded himself inside his own bedroom, he had his phone in hand and was texting Lucien. He couldnt deal with this. Hed reached his bullshit limit.
At fortress. Come get me. Now.