Was it wrong that my heart did some more flopping around inside my chest?
I examined the boulder he was sitting on, saw how hed climbed it, and joined him. I
didnt ask if it was okay first, either. I knew it was okay from his smile.
The smile that was making my heart sort of hurt. But in a good way.
My run was okay, I said, sitting down next to him. But not too close, you know,
because I figured I smelled a bit gamy from my run. Not to mention the fact that Id
sprayed myself with about a pound and a half of DEET before Id left the house, since
East Coast mosquitoes seem to love me very much. And DEET isnt exactly theeau
damour , if you know what I mean.
Will didnt appear to notice, though.
Listen, he said, holding up a single hand as a signal for me not to talk.
I listened. For a minute I thought he wanted me to be quiet so he could say something.
Like, you know, how much he loved me. Even though hed only seen me a few times.
And had dinner with me once.
Hey, stranger things have happened. All Tommy Meadows and I had had in common was
a deep appreciation forSpider-Man comic books.
But it turned out Will didnt want me to be quiet so he could declare his love for me. He
actually wanted me to listen.
So I did. All I could hear, besides the babbling of the water, was the chirping of birds and
the hum of cicadas in the trees. No cars. No planes. You couldnt even hear the shrieks of
encouragement I knew the parents of the lacrosse players and T-ballers had to be letting
out. It was like we were in a different world, a sun-dappled oasis away from it all.
Though, really, we were only two or three hundred yards away from the Dairy Queen off
the highway.
After a minute of this, feeling stupid, I said, Uh, Will? I dont hear anything.
He glanced my way with the tiniest of smiles.
I know, he said. Isnt it great? This is one of the few places around here that people
have left alone. You know? No power lines. No Gap. No Starbucks.
He had, I noticed, eyes that were the same color blue as my pool, when I got the chlorine
and pH balance exactly right. Except that my pool is only eight feet at the deepest end,
and Wills eyes seemed fathomless
Its pretty, I said, about the ravine, looking away from him. Because it isnt a good idea
to think about how blue some guys eyes are, if hes already taken, the way Will is.
You think so? Will said, looking around the ravine. Clearly, he hadnt ever thought of it
that way before. As pretty, I mean. I suppose. Mostly
he hadnt been sitting there enjoying the quiet.
Except
So what were you listening to? I asked, picking up the iPod hed turned off and laid
aside as Id joined him on top of his boulder.
Uh, he said, looking faintly worried as I clicked it back on. Nothing, really.
like if I dove into them, Id never get to the bottom.
its quiet.
Come on, I said teasingly. Ive got Eminem in mine. Yours cant be that bad
Except that it was. Because it turned out to be a collection of troubadour love ballads.
From medieval times.
Oh my God, I couldnt help blurting out in horror, as I stared down at the words
scrolling across the screen.
Then immediately wished I could die.
But, instead of being offended, Will just laughed. Really laughed. Like threw back his
head and laughed.
Im sorry, I said, mortified. I didnt meanIts okay. I mean, lots of people like
classical
But when he finally caught his breath, instead of telling me where to get off for being so
horrified by his musical taste, he said, shaking his head, Oh, God. If you could have
seen your face. I bet thats exactly how you looked when you opened up that filter basket
and found that snake
Feeling a little irritatedmainly because his laughter reminded me of Nancys warning,
about being too funny around guysI said, Sorry. You just didnt strike me as the type to
sit by yourself in the woods listening toI looked down at the iPod screenCourtiers,
Kings, and Troubadours.
Yeah, well, Will said, growing suddenly sober and reaching out to gently tug his iPod
from my hands, I never thought I was, either.
As he said it, I saw the shadow Id noticed that day at my pool pass across his face again.
And I knew Id said exactly the wrong thing.
But since I wasnt sure what the right thing to say wasexcept that I was pretty certain he
wouldnt appreciate my speech about how everyone in the Middle Ages had lice and bad
teethI just kind of sat there.
Besides, I had a good idea that whatever lecturing there was to do on the subject of Will
sitting in the woods listening to medieval music, Lance and Jennifer had already covered
that day I saw them in the arboretum with him.
Still, I got the feeling that Wills gloomy expression didnt have a lot to do with having
been busted listening to lame music. I mean, I have been known upon occasion to crack
out my dads Bee Gees collection when I was feeling completely nihilistic or whatever.
But no amount of teasing on the part of my brother Geoff had ever made me look as
well, hopeless as Will did just then.
stuff.
.
Which made me realize: Will shutting down like that wasnt about my having caught him
listening to lame music. It was about something much, much worse.
Wondering what it could beand hoping it wouldnt be something that might end up
making it difficult for him to take me to the prom, if he and Jennifer broke up or
whateverI took a deep breath and plunged. Look. This isnt any of my business. But are
you okay? I asked him.
The shadow had disappeared from his face by then. He seemed surprised by the question.
Yeah, he said. Why?
Uh. Let me see. I ticked off the points on my fingers. Senior class president.
Quarterback of the football team. Valedictorian?
Probably. He grinned. My heart lurched again.
Valedictorian, I added to my list. Going out with the prettiest, most popular girl in
school. Likes to sit by himself in the woods listening to medieval love ballads. You see
the whole one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other part?
His grin grew broader.
You dont beat around the bush much, do you? he asked, his blue eyes twinkling in a
manner that I couldnt help feeling was very bad for my well-being. Is that a Minnesota
thing, or just an Elle Harrison thing?
I dont know how I replied. I know I must have said something, but I dont have any idea
what it might have been. What did it matter, anyway? Hed said it again. Elle.Elle.
I felt reassured by his flippant response to my question. No, he hadnt really answered it.
But if he could joke around, he obviously wasnt thinking about ending it all, or whatever.
Maybe that look on his face hadnt meant anything. Maybe he was just a guy who liked
sitting alone, listening to medieval music. Maybe he didnt have a pool, and so thats
what he had to do to float
And here I came along, totally busting in where I wasnt needed. Or wanted.
Feeling stupid, I tried to extract myself as quickly as possible from the situation.
Okay, I said, starting to get up. Well, see you around.
But I was stopped by a strong set of fingers that wrapped around my wrist.
Wait a sec. Will looked up at me curiously. Where are you going?
you know, mentally.
Um, I said, trying to be casual about the fact that he was touching me. He was touching
me. No boyother than my brother and Tommy Meadows, who asked me to couples-skate
during a class trip to Western Skatelandhad ever touched me before. Home.
Whats the rush? he wanted to know.
Uh, I said. Maybe I hadnt heard him right. Did he actually want me to stick around?
No rush. I just figured you wanted to be alone. And my dads expecting me to call. For a
ride home.
Ill give you a ride home, Will said, climbing to his feet, and pulling me up with him
so unexpectedly that I sort of started to lose my balance, and wobbled a little on top of
the boulder
Until Will put out his other hand, grabbing me by the waist to steady me.
We stood that way for a heartbeat or two, his hand around my waist, the other holding
my wrist, our faces just inches apart.
If someone had seen us, theyd probably thought we were dancing. Two crazy teenagers,
dancing on top of a boulder.
I wonder if theyd have suspected that one of the teenagersnamely, mewanted to stay
in this position forever, memorize every line of that face so close to mine, reach out and
stroke that soft dark hair, kiss those lips that were hovering just inches above mine. Was
Will thinking the same things? I couldnt tell, and I was looking right into those
fathomless blue eyes. I thought I felt somethingsomething indescribablepass between
us.
But I must have been wrong, because a second later, Will was saying, You all right,
there, now? and letting go of my waist and hand.
Sure, I said, laughing nervously. Sorry.
Except that I wasnt sorry. Especially since both places hed touched me were tingling,
like theyd been scorched
We started to climb from the ravine, Will leading the way, politely holding back
brambles and giving me a hand up the steeper parts, which were hard to climb in my
running shoes. If he noticed how, every time his fingers met mine, sparks seemed to shoot
up my arm, he didnt let on. Instead, he talked about my parents.
Yeah. My parents.
You three are funny together, was what Will said.
.
only in a good way.
We are?
This was news to me. I mean, I know my dadlooks funny, with his Dork Strap and all.
But he hadnt even been wearing that when Will came over. And my moms not
particularly humorous-looking. Shes actually pretty attractive. Until she opens her mouth
about broad clear brows and all of that.
Yeah, Will said. The way they teased you about keeping the pool filters so clean. And
the way you razzed them back about the snake. That was funny. I could never joke
around with my dad like that. All he ever wants to talk to me about is where Im going to
go to school next year.
Oh, I said, relieved we were off the subject of my parents. Thats right. Youre
graduating in the spring.
Yeah. And my dad wants me to go to the Academy.
Which was the local shorthand, Id learned, for the Naval Academy. Only nobody ever
calls it by its full name around here. Its just the Academy.
I wondered what it would be like to have a dad who was in the military, and, you know,
organized. I bet Wills dad would never make him a sack lunch that included potato salad.
On the other hand, I bet Wills dad wouldnt have just ignored the air hose warning on
the inflatable rafts.
Well, I said, wondering how Will would look in one of those white uniforms I saw the
middies wearing around town. Pretty good, I guessed. Really good, actually. Its an
excellent school. One of the hardest to get into in the country, and all.
I know, Will said, with a shrug, as he held back a particularly thorny branch for me to
pass under. And Ive got the grades and test scores and everything. But Im not so sure I
want to go into the military, you know? Visit new places. Meet new people. And kill
them.
Well, I said, again. Yeah. I could see how that could suck. Did you, um, mention that?
To your dad?
Oh yeah.
And? I asked, when Will didnt say anything else. Howd he take it?
Will gave another shrug. He pretty much freaked.
Oh, I said. I thought about my own dad. He and Mom were always telling Geoff and
me to become professors because professors get summers off and only have to teach a
course or two a semester.
But I would rather eat glass than have to write academic papers all the time like Mom
and Dad do. And I tell them so, regularly.
But they dont freak when I say it.
Well, I said. What do you want to do instead?
I dont know, Will said. My dad says Wagner men have always been in the
militaryhe raised his hands and made quotation marks in the air as he added
sarcasticallymaking a difference in the world. Then he dropped his hands. And I
want to make a difference in the world. I really do. But I dont want to do it by blowing
people up.
I thought about the little scene Id witnessed in the hallway that day at school, and the
way Will had handled Rick. It seemed to me like he was already making a difference in
the world.
I can understand that, I said.
Sorry, Will said with a sudden laugh, running one of his hands through his dark hair. I
shouldnt complain. My dad wants me to go to one of the best schools in the country,
which hes completely willing to pay for and which I shouldnt have any trouble getting
into. Everyone should have my problems, right?
Well, I said. It kind of is a problem, if the only school your dads willing to pay for is
the one you dont want to go to
military. Because shooting off guns and stuff seems like a big part of being at the
Academy. At least judging by all the noise I hear from the gunnery every day.
Yeah, Will said. Wed reached the footpath by then. A lady walking a Jack Russell