She swallowed back the panic and the sob that wanted to escape. Oh gods, she was jealous of a woman whod died more than two centuries before. What was wrong with her?
What is it? How can I make it better?
The box. The one you just put in your pocket. It was hers, wasnt it?
She didnt need to use a name and he was too grown up to evade or deny.
Yes. Im sorry. Its been part of my home for so long I didnt think. Are you bothered by it? Shes long gone, Helena.
Ive never really been jealous before. Especially not of a centuries-dead woman. Im sorry. Im embarrassed to be so petty. I know you loved her. I dont expect you to have been a monk before I was even born. Im just . . .
He drew the pad of his thumb down her cheek. Shh. Its not petty. Its all right to feel that way. I loved her. She meant something to me and she always will. I cant deny that or it would shame not only what I had with her, but myself as well. And what I have with you.
I dont expect you to. Honestly, its not that you loved her. I understand that. I accept that. Im just . . .
Just what?
Not that. Not gentle born. I have weapons calluses. I say bad words and I often come home covered in bruises, cuts and sometimes in a sling. I dont know how to keep a genteel home for my husband and, well, thats not me. I cant be her. I cant be like her. Ive never ridden a horse!
He smiled and kissed her quickly. Youre you. My amazing female. Brave and strong. Smart. Angry and righteous. Full of love and passion. Protective. I love that. All of it. Lydia was part of my life then. But youre my life now and forever. The difference is vast. Id never want you to be anyone or anything but what you are. Because thats what I love about you. And you dont need to ride horses. We dont have the time anyway.
He brushed the hair back from her face and slid his palm around to cup the back of her neck. It was dominant and tender all at once.
From the moment I first met you I knew youd be important to me. We have so much time to build a future. A long, beautiful future. You are brilliant. Magnificent. My match in every way. Do you know what it means to a male like me that you have weapons calluses? His grin told her all sorts of things and made her tingly.
I feel like a baby next to you.
In some ways I suppose you are. Im four centuries old. But youre no naïve baby. Youve learned powerful and painful lessons. Youre struggling to protect people in a time that most people, even those my age, havent had to deal with. You have, to be clichéd for a moment, an old soul.
Its not about high-born manners or horses or keeping a house, and Im sorry if anything Ive ever done has led you to that conclusion. You stand up for what is just and you do it at great threat and danger. But you do it because its who you are. Thats . . . its irresistible.
Youre so sure of yourself.
Not always. But I came up hard. Yes, I am a prince, but all my brothers and I had to serve in battles. Had to come up on our own through the ranks and find our way. Simon came here to escape that destiny. I suppose when I volunteered to come here to help Owen, it was to forge a new path for myself, and there you were. It was meant to be. You and I were meant to be. I can be absolutely sure about that, even as I am just as confused and sent reeling by many other things that happen daily in this new reality Others face.
I hate it when things are out of my control.
I know. We can get through it together.
Im still difficult and you still cant borrow my pens, even though youre exemplary in bed.
All right. I can live with that. He kissed her long and slow until the stress melted away and she felt a lot better. He was way better than her mothers tea.
And, by the way, I picked up DVDs of the movies you mentioned. Thunderdome and Mad Max.
Really?
He nodded. Really. Want to watch them in bed?
Ill make popcorn.
Chapter 18
YOU need to get out. Its one night. A few hours. Helena, its been how long since youve done something that didnt involve shooting, getting shot at or blown up? Marian, one of Helenas right-hand people and a good friend, poked at her.
Helena couldnt help smiling as she thought about some of her recent recreational activities with Faine. I do okay.
Okay, but you can do that when you get home. Youll be sweaty and relaxed. Plus, well, its good for the Others community to see us out and about. We get to have a damned life too.
Wild Darkness was a fun club. Or it used to be. Helena hadnt gone in at least a year and a half. Part of it been that she and the ex had gone out there on a regular basis. The rest had been her life getting so busy that going out and shaking her ass had fallen to the bottom of her to-do list.
Hell, ask Faine to come along.
Ask me to come along where? Faine wandered into the room looking good enough to lick. She figured having more access to him now that they lived together would ease her need of him at least a little. But that wasnt the case. The more time she spent with him, the more she wanted.
I was just trying to talk Helena into coming out tonight with me and some of the others from the Hunter squad. Theres a dance club, its run by Others. Marian shrugged. It would be a good sign if people saw her out.
Faine searched her face for a signal, but she could tell, given his posture change, that he thought it was a good idea. It probably was.
She smiled at him and he nodded. Im in. I mean, if I dont have to manage some new crisis between now and tonight.
Marian beamed his way. Ill see you both in a few hours. Dont let her wear something frumpy. Shes got great legs.
Faine raised a brow. Oh, Im very aware of Helenas legs.
I dont own anything frumpy!
Okay, so dont wear anything elegant but so long I cant even see your knees.
Ive been dressing myself appropriately in social situations for a little while now. I think I can manage.
Marian just laughed as she left Helenas office.
Once they were alone she sighed. Good gods. We dont have to go for a long time or anything.
He crowded her and she secretly loved it. Oh, beautiful witch, Im going to watch you move all night long. And then Im going to strip you naked and show you how much it makes me want to love every inch of you.
He was so good at that. All that sexy talk that turned her knees rubbery.
You do have really great legs. Im undecided, though, if I want anyone else to see that. Maybe you can go dancing in a long dress instead.
She laughed. Id get caught up in all the material around my legs. I need to move. Plus, well, she threw down the gauntlet with that frumpy comment. I have to wear something totally fabulous. Which, knowing Marian, was what she intended from the start.
Because they were alone, he dipped down, brushing his mouth over hers. If you dance like you fuck, Im going to be hard all night long.
I dont know if I do or not. Youll have to tell me afterward.
I like this side of you.
Which side is that?
He tipped her chin up with his fingertip. The playful Helena only a few people get to see. My beast presses against my skin, wanting to come out to play too.
She swallowed hard. Her magick rose and she let it for long moments before she got herself back under control.
Stop that. Im totally okay with playing. Later.
He smiled, kissing her again quickly before stepping back. Count on that. Find me when youre ready to go home. Im working in the conference room next door.
* * *
FAINE, his hand at Helenas back, passed through the front doors of Wild Darkness. He couldnt resist another look at his woman from behind in the tiny scrap of a dress shed worn that night. She did indeed have gorgeous legs. Most of which were showcased. High heels on her feet tilted her ass just right. Her tits swayed hypnotically as she moved.
Damn. She was fucking beautiful. His own personal siren.
All in all, he had no complaints. The males could look all they wanted, but she was his. Hed been content to drink some tea and watch her get ready. She fascinated him. All hard edges and kicks to the face and then she could be found lining her eyes and putting on just the right shade of red lipstick. She smelled like heaven. Her perfume spicing the scent of her magick.
She wore tiny panties and a bra that heaped her breasts up, showcasing them perfectly in the neckline of the sparkly silver dress she wore. All her flesh tempted him. So much tawny delight.
He smiled. Later hed slowly divest her of every last scrap of it in their bed.
They found the table her friends had grabbed for them all earlier and then he spun her, pulling her close and bending to speak in her ear. Shall we dance?
She nodded, a smile marking red glossy lips.
And, as it turned out, she did fuck like she danced. She moved with a great deal of passion and self-assurance. Like she fought. He hadnt seen her this carefree, not outside their bed. He was immensely glad theyd come out. People around saw her, knew who she was.
It was good for them to see her in a social setting. He really got that as he noted peoples faces once they recognized her. Yes, they needed to be safe, but they needed to live too. What was the point of surviving the Magister and working so hard for their rights if they hid in their houses all the time?
Life was to be lived. She put her own on the line for them every day in ways they would most likely never truly understand. But just seeing her there, shaking her ass, smile on her face, her magick floating around her like golden dust motes, it made a difference and he approved mightily.
Hell, she needed it too. Needed something that wasnt work, or downtime related to being ready for the next bout of work. Constantly being on guard wasnt good for her. For anyone really, but she was his to protect.
And, he could admit, he liked that they had couple time. Social time when he got to know her friends better and they him. Sure he knew most of the people on the hunter team, at least by sight. But this was different. He was there not just as a guard, but as Helenas man. He knew they understood it. Liked the approval he saw in their eyes as well.
Would you like a drink, alamah?
She got close, smiling up at him. No one had ever used a pet name before. Not more than honey or babe. Alamah was hers alone. He gave it to her and it made her happy. It was really nice to be happy, damn it.
That would be really good. Jack and Coke please.
One of his brows rose as he bent and kissed her quickly. I dont think Ive seen you drink more than a beer before. I cant wait to see this.
He spun her artfully and guided her back to the table, and before he could move toward the bar, a cocktail waitress made her way over.
Hey guys!
It was a girl Helena and Lark had gone to school with. A cousin of Helenas assistant, Sasha.
Hey Carla. How are you? Looks jumpin in here tonight. Marian grinned as she took the place in.
It is. And its good for people to see you all here. My boss is positively giddy. He wants me to tell you drinks are on the house and to thank you for helping people feel safe. Its hard to go out right now. You know? But if the Hunter is here with part of her crew, its good.
Helena was glad theyd come. Even if she planned on getting the hell out in an hour or so because Faine looked good enough to eat and she was going to at the very least lick hima lotonce they got home.
Carla took their orders and their thanks and headed off to get their drinks.
Helena had a great time. Drinking and laughing and dancing with her man. And it felt, somewhere in the back of her mind, like the calm before the storm.
The drink was good but she wanted to dance and he obliged, taking her back out there. Of course he was good at that too. The man was sex on legs and he moved like it.
Never in her life had she imagined being with a man like him. Men like him were fantasies. They were in books or movies, but real-life men were different.
But there he was, looking smooth and sexy, and his gaze was only for her. Well, his gaze flitted around much like hers did, but his personal gaze, the one where a man saw a womanthat was all hers.
It humbled her, even as it filled her with wonder and satisfaction, that he wanted her the way he did. Supported her. Listened to and trusted her. Even with the weight of everyones trust and fear on her shoulders, it was easier with him there at her side.
About an hour later, he pulled her close and she tiptoed up. Of course he was still way taller but thankfully he bent down to meet her halfway. His hand slid around her, settling at her hip. The heat of him burned through her dress, against her skin. Her skin he knew so very well.
I really think we should go home.
The awesome thing about Lycians is that they didnt really get drunk. Not the way humans or witches did, though he did say in Lycia they brewed some type of ale stuff that actually stayed in their system in a way human alcohol didnt. That night hed had a drink but it was through his system in less than ten minutes. He was alert and ready to drive home, though she was moderately tipsy. No need to wait any further for ravishment.
Ive just been waiting for your signal.
They quickly said their good-byes and headed out. People waved as they made their way from the club and his car was waiting in valet when they got outside.
Its nice to feel like were all on the same page for once. Positive instead of terrified. Though. She shrugged, settling back into the seat as he headed for the freeway. I suppose the terror will be back by morning. Every night there was something else. Every dose of the morning news had multiple stories of some violence somewhere. Fires. Graffiti. Attacks on schools and community centers. It sucked.