I changed my mind. His tone made it clear that he wasnt going to discuss it further, and she shrugged.
Youll need to give her a better reason than that. When shes ready to talk to you, that is. Shall I tell her you saved her?
Given our recent history, I doubt shell be impressed. Ill tell her myself if I decide she needs to know.
Allie nodded, then lapsed into a meditative silence. Strangely enough, he felt comfortable, sitting in the darkness with Raziels wife, watching the tide roll in. He could feel the last of his resentment slipping away. Sarah was gone, and the best way he could honor her and what theyd had together was to let go, move on.
He closed his eyes, and for a moment he could almost feel her hands on his shoulders, her lips brushing a kiss on the top of his head, her heavy silver braid brushing against him. He kept his eyes closed,
soaking in the benediction, and then she was gone.
He opened his eyes, to discover they were wet and stinging. He blessed the darkness, but he knew Allie could see anyway. He cleared his throat. Shouldnt someone be checking on her?
Gretchen is there. I wouldnt have left her if she hadnt stabilized. You know that, Azazel. Her voice was only faintly accusing.
He deserved it. Yes, he said. He had to say it, and for some reason it didnt gall him. Perhaps it was Sarahs blessing. Thank you, Allie. Thank you for saving her.
He half expected her to make light of it, but she simply said, Youre welcome.
Raziel wonders what will happen to her.
She belongs here. Shes like a newbornthis is her new life, her memories, old and new. Well find a way to work her into the community.
She didnt ask him if he minded. It was no longer his decision. Hed ceded leadership to Raziel and gone on his quest, his quest to destroy the Lilith. Now he was simply one of the Fallen. And she would be here. Hating him.
As it shall be, he said, using the old words.
As it shall be, Allie murmured formally. She glanced over her shoulder. Raziel had come to join them, standing behind them, and the two of them shared a smile, the sort of secret communication hed once had with Sarah, and he waited for that flash of anger, of jealousy and rage for all that he had lost.
It was gone. Washed clean. Astonishing, when it had ruled his life for so long.
Allie glanced up at Raziel, and he nodded, putting his hands on her shoulders as Sarah had once touched him, leaning down and placing a kiss on her head. The parallel should have disturbed him. Instead, it began to warm a very cold place inside him.
Youre weak, Azazel, Allie said after a moment. I can feel it. Youve been running on sheer nerves. Its been much too long for you, and you know it.
He shook his head. Im not ready to go up to the house or go through the ritual.
No need, she said. And held out her slender wrist.
He glanced up at Raziel in surprise, but Raziel simply nodded. You need it, he said.
It was against the laws of Sheol to partake of the Source without the full ritual, but now Raziel made the laws. And things were already changing, with Rachel, with him. He wanted to fight the clawing need, to reject this woman, but he couldnt. His need was too strong. He took her wrist in both hands, hesitating a moment. And then bit, delicately, as his fangs extended, and the blood was thick and sweet and healing.
He stopped before he was sated, careful not to push things, and released her arm with the traditional words of thanks.
Are you certain youve had enough? she asked, as both healer and Source. He nodded, feeling the strength course through him, filling him with steely power. Then Ill go check on my patient.
As she moved back to the house, he realized that at some point shed attained the perfect grace that went with being the Source. He could see it and admire it now.
Raziel took her abandoned seat. I take it you dont hate her anymore. Thats a good thing, brother. He followed Azazels gaze out to the sea. And youre at full strength now, I presume. I have a question for you. Allie has decreed that Rachel will stay here. Does that mean you will leave?
He thought about it. She would hate him, and the sight of her would bring a deep, inexplicable pain. A pain he wasnt going to run from. Hed run from pain for long enough. No. I will stay.
Raziel nodded. Good. I suspect were going to need you. I take it the Truth Breakers were unable to unearth her memories of Lucifer?
According to Uriel, they succeeded, for all the good it does us. We were fools to think he would actually pass the information along. And that would have been the first part of her brain they scrubbed clean.
Naturally. It doesnt matter. She stays.
Azazel nodded, rising. Ill be in soon.
The sky was inky dark, the moon barely a sliver. He soared upward, past the clouds and mist that always enshrouded Sheol, into the clear, cool night. The stars were pinpricks of light, and he banked and turned, feeling the wind rush past him like fingers through his hair, kissing his face, and he thought of Rachel far below. He had to let go of her, release her as he had released Sarah.